#and it has been collecting dust ever since

[neccturtle]

Hiiiiiiii

Your art is really good and cool

👍🏼

thank u

[springtyme]

𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 ♡ 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏

𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖! 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈

Simon catching baby fever, but you’re only roommates...

141 masterlist (there'll be a part two of this)

Before you, the only time Simon really left his flat when he was home on leave was to go to the gym or to go get groceries. 

He was content with this routine, he found comfort in the familiarity of it, and enjoyed the peace and quiet of his own space. Or at least that is what he told himself. This way of life had been sufficient for him for a long time, but as time went on he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. 

That is when Simon found himself considering the idea of getting a flatmate. He thought about it for a while, weighing the pros and cons in his mind. On one hand, he enjoyed his independence and privacy. On the other hand, having someone else around the flat could be a good thing, and he does have an extra bedroom in the flat that’s just collecting dust. Maybe it would be a good idea… Maybe.

After much contemplation, Simon finally decided to take the plunge and start looking. He posted an ad online, and waited for responses to come in. To his surprise, he received a good handful, he had actually not anticipated that that many, if any, would be interested in sharing his space. It is a little overwhelming, and as he goes through the applications he starts to doubt whether he had made the right decision. 

What if he didn’t get along with any of them? What if they were messy or loud or just generally annoying? It was a dumb idea to begin with, he thought to himself, but then as he looked through the last application, something caught his eye.You. 

You seemed responsible, tidy, and overall like someone he could get along with. But there was something more about you that intrigued him. Maybe it was the way you wrote about your love for cooking and how you were looking for a quiet and peaceful place to call home. Or maybe it was the photo you attached to your application, a warm smile on your face that made Simon feel at ease. 

Maybe this could work out after all. 

And work out it did, maybe a little too well. It has now been a little over a year since you moved in, and despite Simon being gone on deployment more often than not the two of you have become very close. You cook meals together. You watch movies on lazy nights, where you will sometimes fall asleep on the couch, your lashes kissing your cheek as the soft glow of the tv illuminates your face, and Simon can’t help but feel a warmth in his heart as he tucks the fluffy blanket, that you had brought with you when you moved in, over your sleeping form.

After you moved in, his flat feels more like a home than it ever had before. It’s like you were always meant to be there, filling up the empty space in his life that he didn’t even realise was there. 

There is something so oddly domestic about all the small things you do together – sharing a cup of tea in the evenings as you talk about your day, or even playfully arguing over who gets to do the dishes that night, even though he secretly never actually minds doing them. 

Pushing the trolley down the aisles of the supermarket as the two of you do the big shop together on Sundays are one of his favourites, though. Because he knows what it looks like from the outside – just a couple doing their weekly grocery shopping. The only thing that would make the scene even more picturesque would be with a little baby in the trolley, a perfect blend of the two of you, giggling and reaching out to try and grab for the items on the shelves as you both laugh and try to keep them entertained.

These thoughts will sometimes sneak into Simon’s mind, and he will quickly shake them away, reminding himself that it is just his imagination running wild. He can’t think like that, it isn’t fair to you or to himself. But still, the idea lingers in the back of his mind, growing stronger with each passing day.

It has started to get harder and harder to ignore these thoughts, these feelings. He tries to push them away, to bury them deep down, but they keep resurfacing. He never really expected to feel this way about you, about anyone, really. But now that he has you in his life, so close yet so far from what he actually wants to be he can’t help but dream about a different life, to have a family, a future, a life outside of the military and his flat.

Suddenly, Simon starts to notice more and more babies around him. Whether it’s at the park when he is on his runs, in Tesco, or even on TV, they seem to be everywhere. And each time he sees a baby, his heart aches with longing. It doesn’t help that your neighbours just had a baby, and he has to watch you coo over the little boy every chance you get. It is like a knife twisting in his chest, knowing that he will never have that with you.

It has always been a secret desire of his, a wish he knew he would never be worthy of having fulfilled. And yet, it linger in the depths of his heart, elusive and shimmering like a mirage in the desert. The dream of someday having a family of his own, of doing things right, of breaking the cycle he had grown up in. After meeting you, his dreams became more vivid, more concrete. 

He has fallen in love with you, and that scares the living daylights out of him. He never thought he would be in this situation, especially after all the sick shit he has been through. But here you are, filling up the empty space in his heart, making him yearn for a life he never thought he could have.

But Simon is good at keeping his emotions in check, so he continues to play his part, to act like everything is okay, like he doesn’t feel this overwhelming love for you that threatens to consume him. 

But late at night, Simon lies awake in bed, when he is sure you’re sleeping and he is staring at the ceiling, his heart feels heavy with the weight of his unspoken feelings. 

And when he tries to decompress, by fisting his aching cock in his hand, guilty thoughts of you will flood his mind, making him ache with longing. 

He knows it’s wrong, he knows he shouldn’t be thinking of you in that way. But the images of you, of your smile, of your laughter, of your kindness, they linger in his mind, fueling his desires. The way you smile and laugh and light up his life in ways he never thought possible, it fuels a fire within him so all consuming, so intense, that he can’t help but give in to it, even if just in the confines of his own mind.

And as he strokes himself, he can’t help but imagine what it would be like to have you in his bed, to feel your touch, to hear your moans of pleasure. He imagines what it would be like to hold you close, to feel your warmth against his skin, to hear you whisper words of love and affection in his ear. To have you beg for him to fill your womb and mark himself as yours. He would love it – to pump you so full with his cum, for it to take root, to see your body change with his child, to create a life with you, to have a family of his own. 

He will have to bite down on his own hand to stifle his groans and to stop himself from moaning your name out loud. It’s a dangerous game he plays in the silence of the night, as he knows that these feelings, these desires, can never be acted upon. But still, he can’t help but indulge in these fantasies, in these dreams of a life that he may never have.

And as he lies in his bed after, spent and worn, a sense of guilt wash over him. He knows that it’s wrong to have these thoughts about you. But he can’t help it, he can’t control it, and as he lies in the darkness of his bedroom, he can’t help but feel the sting of longing in his chest, knowing that you lie in your own bed just down the hall, so close yet so far away.

[moongothic]

So here's a stupid ass project I probably shouldn't have done

So I had this leftover yarn from my mom that I didn't really know what to do with because of its color, until I realized I could maybe make a blanket out of it for my aunt as a Christmas present. Problem is that I didn't have enough yarn to make a blanket out of it.

Now I wasn't entirely sure what yarn it was but after some guessing I figured it might be Istex's Lettlopi yarn. But I wasn't sure. And I didn't want to risk buying any of that yarn for the blanket if I wasn't sure it was the right yarn.

And then I remembered that for a while now I had thought it could be fun for me to try to cross stitch/tuft(/punch needle without a needle punch) a moon plushie. But if I wanted to make that, I'd need yarn for it. So I figured I could buy one ball of white Lettlopi, to confirm if it was the same yarn my mom had left me with. If it was, I'd know I could buy more of it, and if it wasn't I'd still use it for the moon plush.

I was right, it was the same yarn! And while I could've just gone off and buy the yarn I'd need for the blanket, I figured I didn't want to do that yet (because I was still in Knitting Jail at the time and didn't want to start any LARGE projects). But I figured, I had the yarn, and I was sick and tired of knitting. So let's just go do plushie.

It was easier said than done

Started by just drawing a moon shape onto some paper that I could then draw twice onto my scrap cross stitch fabric. I did use some other (purple) yarn (that my cat had stolen, played and chewed on so it was gross, covered in dust and went into the bin) just to test the stitch I wanted to use for the plush before jumping into it

But I jumped into it, began doing simple X stitches (and soon after cut the fabric piece once I felt like it'd work out and could Commit To It)

And yeah, it was slow

Also, I realized I fucked up. See, while I did test the stitch before jumping into it, the yarn I used was indeed an entirely different one, much softer and squishier than the Lopi and possibly a smidge thinner too. So when I did my test, the Xs were very soft and bouncy

But with the Lopi, they were dense as fucking hell

And like. I told myself it'd be fine and to not worry about it, because by the time I realized it was a mistake I just thought it'd be more effort to try to undo my work and start all over.

But no, not restarting was the bigger mistake. But alas, I was stubborn and committed to doing it the way I originally wanted to, like a dumbass

And after many, many, many, many hours I did complete the first side of the moon

(I did leave the edges unstitched because I figured it'd help with sewing later on)

But with the first side done, it was time for the other side. Now full disclosure, I can't remember if this was my plan from the begining or if I decided to do this after the first side went so bad, but I did decide I wanted to try to kinda tuft the other ("front") side of the plush to make it squishier

I did a very small test of how it'd feel if I did lots of these loops on the fabric and I did like how it felt, so I just got to it

Once again, this was a mistake

Like it might not be very obvious from this photo, but the loops were actually REALLY DENSE. I didn't realize it when I did my TINY TINY test, but after doing this much I realized that because I did a loop in every single hole of the fabric, the loops were too close to each other. So the loops actually lost their squish and were forcing the fabric to curl so they could spread out slightly

But once again, I was a stubborn idiot, and thought it'd be more effort for me to restart than to just continue on. So I just continued on. Like a fool.

But eventually I did finish the second side too

(Just for funsies, here's how the reverse sides of the two pieces looked)

With that done though, I should attach the two moon pieces together by their inner curve. Now I'm no seamstress but I figured that I just put these two pieces together and showed stuffing inside, I'd end up with a slightly thick moon-shaped yarn pancake. Like it'd just be flat. And I wanted it to be more 3D, and to do that I'd have to add a third piece to the outer curve of the moon. And in my mind it felt like it'd be easier for me to figure out how big etc that piece would have to be once I had the inner curve like sewn together

So yeah, onto the sewing, starting with simply attaching the two pieces (inside out)

And I just used more Lopi to do the sewing by hand, figured it'd just blend in the best

Turned the thing inside out and here's how it was looking

Definitely a mess but surely it'd still be workable

Still I figured I should do the tips of the moon too before anything else, so I first trimmed the excess fabric from the tips (to make it easier to get a nice point when turning it inside out)

And I finished stitching the tips, adding the tufting (since I hadn't gone all the way to the edges yet), since it'd just get harder to do later

And while I was at it I also finished stitching the inner curve too, letting the tufting reach the backside

But with that done, it was time to finally do the final piece of the plushie, the part I'd hope would add like dimension to it

Only problem is that I did not know anything about sewing something like this, but you'll get to enjoy the results of my poor 3D imagining skills later

Anyway I figured that this part of the plush would end up being "the bottom" so it wouldn't ever really be visible, so I thought doing just a simple stitch would be good enough, no point in doing the loops. (Also didn't bother doing Xs, I had learned my lesson by this point and did not care)

Finished the stitching and cut the piece to size

I sewed the bottom piece to the front of the plushie, and filled out the empty part of the fabric with more loops since it was convenient to do it now

With it sewn on, the plushie was starting to get... 3D but also very wonky. This is when I realized I should've made that bottom piece much longer. But alas, it was too late for that. All I could do was pray that once the plushie was stuffed it'd look better

Speaking of stuffing

I have a fuck ton of upholstery foam for various reasons, and more importantly, a ton of small scrap pieces that I had hoarded for no good reason.

I figured, instead of buying some stuffing for the plush, I could just cut up those awkward tiny foam pieces and use that as stuffing instead- not like I had much else I could do with them anyways

This is not even all of foam pieces I ended up using, I just cut more and more as I crammed more in until the plush felt consistently filled

With the moon filled though, it was time to sew that hole shut

And to finish things off, do some stitching across the seam so you couldn't see the original fabric anymore

And boom, we have a wonky little moon plushie

Or as I like to call it, my fucked up little yarn croissant

It is misshapen and wonky as hell, holy fuck

Truly, I was not blessed with an understanding for sewing

Also, I regret doing the entire bottom piece in the simple stitch because it looks really strange when you look at the backside of the plushie, like, I should've done half of it with loops so it would've matched the front better

But it is what it is

Like, not gonna lie, I am really disappointed with how this turned out and regret most of my decisions with it, especially because of how fucking long this plushie actually took to make. Like, me taking multiple week long breaks aside, this genuinely took me from May to August to finish. (I just couldn't be bothered to post about it until now)

I know I shouldn't beat myself up about it, since it was my first plushie etc, you learn from your mistakes and I would genuinely be able to do a better job if I made another one. But it is still annoying

I don't know if it's good news or bad news though, but my cat has taken a great liking to this plushie. Like I kept it on my bed for a weeks as cute little decor until one morning I found it on the kitchen floor, and my cat has ever since tried to steal it so she could rip it to shreds. I even have to try to fix some loops she pulled out and clean dust off of it because because she dragged it around the house I literally have it hidden in my yarn cabinet to keep her from getting to it

Like it's cute she likes it but also that is a pure wool moon plush I spent multiple months painstakingly making one stitch at a time, I do not wish to have food crumbs on it Honey

[cybermindz]

max verstappen x fem!reader

⟢ summary. max wasn’t doing a very good job at being an attentive boyfriend, always busy and not paying you any mind, so when you voice your dismay he gives you exactly what you want.

⟢ contains. slight angst, nsfw, smut : unprotected séx, côckwarming ♡, softdom!max, crybaby!reader, he’s stubborn and mean asf (madmax hehe), you ride him in his gaming chair, dirty talk, creampie, begging, mention of alcohol consumption, usage of petnames (e.g. baby, sweetheart, love), wc : 6.4k

nora's ☆ note. peek-a-boo! srry for being gone, this has been in my drafts since jan LMAO. it’s my first time writing something angsty, hopefully it’s up to par w the rest of my writing (o´罒`o) anyway love u all, i’m going through all my work that’s been collecting dust <3

Your feet padded down the endless hallways of the penthouse you currently resided in, searching for Max with a glass of gin in hand. One of his favorites.

The boisterous district of Fontvieille Monaco has gone long quiet as the evening begins to fade in. It was the most treasured part of your day—when the sunset casts over the ocean and how the crowds of people start to diminish slowly one by one. Loud voices and laughter simmering down, back into their homes or into fancy restaurants and bars to enjoy the rest of their night.

Each roll of the blue waves along with the golden disk already beginning to touch the surface ocean water is a view you could never get sick of. The sun slips quickly behind the line of the horizon as it spreads its last rays—stunning hues of oranges and yellows seeping through the windows of your living room, allowing to emit a shadow of your figure on the floor and walls with each step you take as you continue your hunt for your boyfriend.

It is where you feel the utmost of tranquility—the calmness of this environment is a way for you to wind down without having to care for anything else outside of the place you call home, to help wash away any troublesome thoughts. Usually these hours are spent with you and Max watching a movie or making a home cooked meal together. Usually your limbs would be tangled with one another in sacred and intimate ways.

Though this time around, your surroundings don't put you at ease, it doesn’t shake away your worries. In fact, it’s worse than usual.

This current lifestyle by all means, was everything you could ever dream of. You were incredibly lucky to be the partner of someone like Max. The Dutchman who is portrayed and misunderstood as a villain half of the time is actually a gentleman.

Your lover was so genuine and kind, as sweet as the gleam of sun that is currently kissing your skin—the warmth filling your whole body, bringing an overwhelming sense of comfort. It’s the sole reason why you fell in love with him, and you fell hard.

His own love for you is like a garden—blossoming into heavenly flowers within his fast beating heart.

He dotes on you, cares for you when you need it most, like tending to a single daisy amongst a field of grass. Nurturing and watering it with the most fondness, just like he does when kissing you, and god his kisses are to die for. His lips soft against yours like a warm embrace, so tender and delicate, melting into each other's souls. It always felt as if it were the last, as if the world was crumbling beneath the bottom of your feet. Nothing around you mattered, just the two of you in that space sealing in the gap.

He’s a race car driver for crying out loud—bound to be blunt and direct. But the persona he shows to the crowds of people and millions behind a tv screen is only half of who he truly is. Sure he can have a nasty temper at times during the highlights of his career but those were all under heavy stressful circumstances. In no way shape or form has his impatience and anger on track reach you from behind closed doors…until recently.

That familiarity of admiration for you has suddenly turned into rushed and quick pecks on the lips, hugs lasting only a fracture of a second. There wasn’t any long lasting gentleness to those intimate actions anymore, no adoration laced behind them.

This switch in attitude has you dwelling on it in an unhealthy way. Concerns filling your brain as he hardly devoted any time to you recently. Perpetually blowing you off with an “I’m busy.” and other broken promises to make it up to you whenever you’d suggest going out together for the day.

You genuinely didn't mind it at first, you out of everyone understood how important his career was to him. But, he’s constantly conducting business calls, in emergency meetings, or practicing on the race simulator. You were aching for him, in more ways than one.

It’s lonely enough with him having to travel all around the world 12 times a year with an extra addition of other flights for further business matters. And, with your own work you aren’t usually there to accompany him more than you’d wish. So with the rare occasions of him actually having a break with you at home and to have him not pay any attention to you was, without any exaggeration…starting to annoy you.

In contrast to the beautifully painted sky outside your windows showcasing its eternal beauty of lovely colors, your mood was somber and gloomy. Almost like the soon to be night sky beneath a cascade of iridescent stars on the sandy shores of Monaco—the air thick with a cold breeze and scent of salt, the feeling melancholic.

With an intake of a breath through your nose, the tracks of your light footsteps halt when you finally reach the blackwood door that leads into his office you were positive he was in. You make sure to knock three times—an order you mustn't forget, not wanting to walk in on him potentially streaming a game or being in a meeting with his camera on.

Upon hearing a faint, “Come in.” from the other side of the door, you enter the office with caution. Staring into the dreary space, anyone would be aware of how grim it was; pens and papers scattered across his work desk messily, the trophies resting on the display shelf held a sheer layer of dust, and the cold temperature didn't make it any better. The atmosphere alone coerced goosebumps to emerge onto your skin.

Max himself looked disarrayed, sat in the race simulator on the other side of the room. You walk over to stand beside the makeshift car seat to get a better look at him. All the noticeable tell-tale signs didn't go unnoticed by you, he was pushing himself too much. It was really displeasing to see him not taking care of himself. His light brown hair framed his forehead with eye bags digging into his skin, and there was a prominent little line in between his eyebrows—indicating that he’s been focusing for too long.

“Hey, everything okay?” Setting down the cup of gin on the wooden desk concernedly, you pull off his headset and brush your hand through his locks—pushing them back into place. Max doesn’t tear his eyes off the screens of his multiple monitors, barely sparing you a glance or reacting to the contact of your touch like he normally would.

“Hi baby, yeah…yeah ‘m alright,” he mumbles slowly, almost as if he didn’t register what you said.

“I got you a drink.” A frown makes way onto your features when he doesn’t say anything after that, not even acknowledging the alcohol in front of him. With a tilt of your head you wait expectedly, continuing to burn holes on the side of his face—like you were trying to read into his thoughts. “You coming to bed soon? You should get some rest.”

“Mhm…in a bit.”

You didn’t know why you thought the outcome would be anything different. The monotone lack of response from him had you sneering as a combination of anguish and irritation consumed your body. He’s still looking at the screens, an intense focus in his irises—a need to complete the race laps of the simulator even with his headphones off.

You knew then that he’s not honest with his intentions, being dismissive as usual and leading you to the feeling of neglect yet again. Though this time you’ve reached your limit, patience running thin.

Whilst huffing out an annoyed breath you toss the headset into his lap without a care, “Liar.”

That was a terrible mistake.

His reaction was just about immediate, bewildered at your sudden outburst. “What was that?” Max finally turns his head, eyes narrowing to look at you as you saunter off to the door. You intended to just retire into your shared bedroom alone, tears already pooling at your lash line from all the pent-up frustration with your back facing him.

“If you knew what was good for you, you wouldn’t dare to walk out that door.”

Halting your footsteps, a shiver bolted up your spine, the previous anger briskly replaced with unease. You’d like to think it was from the cool air that was blowing from the vents instead of his bleak words.

“Get back over here,” he spoke assertively, voice low and ominous—like he was disappointed in your unexpected change of mood, making your skin crawl with uncertainty.

It was a dangerous gamble between wanting to defy him or to finally have all of his attention after two weeks. But you knew better than to test his warnings and tolerance especially after hearing that irked tone. Blinking away the unshed tears, you steel yourself to shift your body and face him again.

“Now. Sweetheart, don't make me repeat myself.”

Your breath hitches, this was probably the first time in days where he’s held eye contact intently with you for longer than twenty seconds and it just about has you stumbling over your feet. The icy glare spoke for itself, already irritated with the way you lashed out at him, which is rare coming from you. He’s got a pounding headache and the last thing he wants to deal with is your little attitude.

His mean demeanor nearly made your eyes water again by the time you returned to his side, following his order. Within a split second, Max chucks the headphones to the ground bitterly. The loud clank! it makes when it hits the wooden floor has you jolting out of your skin, his annoyance radiating off of the small scowl on his face and actions.

In swift movements he pulls you down to straddle his lap without a word, a squeak of surprise leaves your lips since you didn’t have time to process what was happening.

The proximity has your heart skipping a beat, a rush of heat spreading throughout your entire body with nervousness. It was slightly cramped in the space between him and the pc steering wheel—leaving you little to no room to breathe, chest brushing against his to not have your back pressed into the metal material.

You felt that familiar ache in your stomach building up from how close he was and how he was holding your waist to keep you steady. It really didn’t take much for you especially since you’ve missed his warmth—his big veiny hands on your body. Your mind begins to whirl already, making you desperate for more right away, it was easy to tell from your quickened breath.

He observes your small frame all but quivering atop of him, dressed solely in one of his t-shirts that was evidently larger on you and a pair of panties peeking from underneath.

“What’s gotten into you huh?” His eyes lingered a while longer on your bare thighs that were scantily covered. He strokes it with his hands lightly, the contact igniting a trail of fire in its wake on your supple skin before his sharp gaze snapped to return to your face, “always interrupting me.”

You can practically hear the erratic rhythm of your heart beating in your ears because of his fierce scrutinizing eyes, and it doesn't benefit you in the slightest when the expensive cologne he knows drives you crazy wafts into your nostrils—making it even harder to concentrate. The air gets thicker by the second around your heated bodies.

“What’s gotten into me?“ You’re muttering under your breath, looking everywhere but his burning stare to try and rein yourself, “Max you…you hardly have time for me anymore.”

He’s a busy man, engrossed and occupied in his job. You get it, you truly do, you understand the fear he must bear of not wanting to be last. Carrying that title of being number one is both a blessing and a curse. It doesn't help that he's his own worst critic, correcting what he thinks he could do better by practicing on the simulator as much as he possibly can—it’s the only thing that occupies his mind.

The amount of pressure he must feel has to be overbearing—all the more for a non-stressful winter break, he’s been losing too much sleep and he couldn’t even bother to mind your concerns. All you wanted was to take care of him in different ways, you’ve tried for days but those days turned into two weeks and you’ve had enough.

One of his hands smooths over your back, humming gruffly while the other jerks your chin to force you to look at him with a firm grip so you don't pull away, “Y’know I have to be on top of my work right?”

“Yes! Of course I do but—“

“I’m doing this for us.” He then takes both of his palms, dragging them down your sides tantalizingly to grasp your hips. Max kneads the flesh briefly before guiding you with a secure hold to have your clothed heat rub at his crotch that's already flinching, growing hard underneath you. He does so almost mockingly, knowing just what you want and eliciting a shocked choked gasp from you, “working so I could get you the things you want.”

Your small hands went to hold onto his broad shoulders at the unexpected friction, it was getting tougher to keep yourself grounded—body trembling with the effort to stay in check, to stop yourself from grinding down on him greedily like you so desperately wanted.

“Max,” your face is sullen as you speak just above a whisper, he was mere inches away, so close you can almost taste him. You could just…lean forward a bit, claim his lips and have him again, “I don’t care about that, I just want to spend—“

“Time with me.” He interrupts again, stealing the rest of the sentence out of your mouth like he’s heard it a hundred times before and you can't seem to get snarky with him at the moment because of the way he was gradually rolling your groin against his. A rush of butterflies stirs in your tummy from the staggering sensation.

Max reaches under the hem of his baggy shirt that's draped over you with an exasperated exhale, his touch ticklish as his fingers dance along the soft skin near the band of your underwear. You can start to feel your body seeking more of his attention, so close to being obtainable you can taste it on the tip of your tongue.

“Is that it? Fine. If that’s the case, then you’re going to sit still.”

His words pique your interest at once that you seem to ignore his condescending behavior—content with just getting to be in his presence again.

He takes notice of your tongue peeking out to wet your lips in expectancy, earning a flicker of amusement on his features before quickly masking it back with a stoic expression. You can feel him trail lower and lower until the tips of his fingers reach your sensitive bud to circle it delicately over your panties, almost feather-light to tease you. The response from your body was instant, mewling and arching your back. Your clothed breasts were now flush against his chest, allowing more warmth to exchange between the two of you.

“All you wanted was to get your little pussy wet huh?” He lets out a scoffing chuckle, making a wave of humiliation wash over you from the way he puts it. You shake your head in denial, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that you are in fact sexually frustrated.

“N-Ngh! No!” But he can see right through your miserable bluff, especially with your heavy puffs of breath and stammering.

You were utterly touch-starved that your underwear was already dampening under his touch with your growing arousal. All from just sitting on his lap and light traces of contact.

“No? Then why are you soaking my fingers right now?” A sense of pride always filled his body knowing the affect he had on you, to have you heat up and slip into that sweet headspace with just a few ministrations. “Aww my sweet baby, you just needed a bit of my attention? Is that it?”

Max continues to work you up with a lazy smirk on his lips, watching you closely for each little face twisting reaction, “answer me sweetheart.” He lightly taps at your clit, another chuckle almost slipping from his throat when you sit up straighter because of it.

“Yes Max, I…want you.” Your voice comes out a bit whiny than you intended but you don’t seem to care because of the way your brain is clouding, craving more without question.

“There’s my good girl.”

With your lower lip sucked between your teeth you brace yourself for more, blood pumping with excitement. He was finally going to fuck you like you’ve been wanting for days, right?

Wrong.

What you didn’t expect was to be fully naked, straddling his cock whilst he ignored you.

Dumbfounded was an understatement.

As you watch the clock on the other side of the office—perched on top of the door behind him, your sanity quickly dissolves with each passing tick. It took you about ten minutes to realize the vast amount of self-control he held. So while you were sitting on his lap, firm length sheathed deeply inside you—Max simply returned to the simulator, superbly content with this proposal. You on the other hand, couldn’t stop the tremor of your thighs.

Breaking the tense silence with an unsatisfied grumble, you wrap your arms around his neck in hopes to get more direct contact of his skin on yours. Your frame was taut and rigid above him, trying your damn hardest to not make any sudden movements like he ordered.

Being able to finally feel him again like this but not allowed to do anything about it has you on edge, you eagerly wanted—no needed some sort of relief. So with much contemplation your movements get bolder with a grind of your hips, though it only makes him give you a stern look in exchange, enough for you to force into a stop at once.

He clicks his tongue in disapproval, giving a light smack on your plush ass as a warning. “Stop fuckin’ moving,” he hisses through gritted teeth, still annoyed with you and it had your heart aching uncomfortably.

You should be the one that was upset but you felt so vulnerable and deprived, especially with him still being fully clothed, his shorts and briefs pushed down just enough to free his cock making you feel all the more exposed and in the mercy of his hands. You so miserably needed more of him, all of him.

“Max please,” you can’t help but beg now, knowing that it’ll usually weaken his resolve with that angelic voice of yours, “I can’t.”

It doesn't seem to deter him though. A sense of disappointment engulfs you, he was so hellbent on teaching you a lesson that you know you don't even deserve.

“You can and you will. What happened to being my good girl?” His hands never leave the steering wheel behind you and his voice, not even in the slightest—doesn’t waver whenever he speaks, practically like he was unaffected with your warm wet cunt wrapped around him, “besides, isn’t this what you wanted? Don’t make me punish you.”

He’s mocking you. You can almost see his lips quirking up into a smile as you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck with no retaliation afterward, so eager to please him.

The only thing you can possibly do was snuggle closer for the little bit of warmth his clothed body can radiate in the cold office and listen to the loud roar of V6 engines coming from the game. With tightly shut eyes, you try to think of something to distract you but nothing works as your mind parades itself from the feeling of his fat tip kissing your cervix, stuffed full.

This was already punishing enough, none of this was painful oh no—it was the complete opposite. But, the pleasure rising up and not having your desires fulfilled was tearing you apart. It was borderline torture.

The stretch makes slick from your pussy drool on his girth, a mess pooling straight down his balls and whenever he would move his feet on the pedals of the simulator—his thigh jumps, making you shift on his lap and bounce ever so slightly on his shaft. It has you whining against his ear like a bitch in heat.

Max’s eyes burn into the screen of his pc after perceiving the sound of your soft whimper and whines against his ear, breath tickling his skin and making it prick up. He always loved any noises that he could pull from you, his possessiveness and ego feeds off it. He's transfixed—entranced by how sweet it sounds. He can’t lie, he did miss you. Missed having you close like this, desperate and easily acquiescent for him, your soft voice all breathless and needy.

Just the feeling and connection of you.

He clenched his jaw when your velvet walls fluttered around him, his own self-control was close to snapping. But being an asshole just to spite you seemed more pleasing, he purposely moved his legs more forcefully on the pedals to elicit more of those pretty little cries of pleasure.

Though he completely freezes up the moment he hears you sniffling against his neck, hot tears hitting his shirt seconds after.

Max knows he's been a shit boyfriend but he's too prideful to admit it, so frustrated and harsh while his sole center of attention was on how to be better, better, better with his work that he seemed to forget your own needs. He’s conflicted at the moment as he thinks about it, infuriated at himself for taking it out on you.

You were trying so hard for him, to be his good girl that you always were despite your own discontentment and bitterness to his treatment towards you. You didn’t want to upset him any further even if this was his own doing, it made both his heart stammer and his cock twitch from how kind you are to him. He didn't deserve you.

When you feel that certain jerk inside of you, your one track mind really couldn't stop your lips from speaking once more through your small sniffles. “P-Please Max,” you attempt again with hesitation, lip bitten raw from your constant chewing, “I can’t take this much longer.”

His self-restraint finally snaps.

Your ears perk and pick up the sound of him sipping, completely downing the glass of alcohol that was disregarded earlier in one go. He hisses harshly after the burn cascades down his throat with each gulp and then leans forward, muscles flexing slightly as he places the now empty cup on the desk with a soft clunk before turning off the gaming system.

The unexpected silence causes your stomach to twist in a knot, no longer capable of hearing the thunderous engines of formula one cars—just his ragged breathing and ticking of the clock.

Anticipation nags in the back of your mind, a hundred things running all at once while you sit there pliantly and unmoving, silent tears cascading down your face.

You can't help but think that you’ve surely done it this time, you’ve pissed him off now haven’t you?

“So ungrateful for all the things I give you, hm?” He eventually speaks amidst the strained quietness. The words he utters out didn’t hold any actual malice, voice softer now. His anger giving away to more vulnerability as his hands went to pry your face away from his neck, holding it in his palms gently.

It ached to see you hurt, the pain in your features mirrored in his own heart. His hands trembled subtly while he cradled your soft cheeks, thumbs brushing away the salty tears that fell—trying to comfort and soothe you, “always complaining.”

You lean further back slightly to get a better view of his features, seeing a mixture of emotions swirling in his irises.

Pity. Sadness. Longing.

You could feel it with the way he held you with care, you could feel it in the air—through his soft breath against your skin. Your own heart tugs a bit when you realize that he was feeling guilty. Guilty for doing this to you, for mistreating you.

“I miss you.” You hiccup whilst his thumbs continue their calming motions on the apple of your cheeks.

He focuses on your pretty face stained with wet tears before brushing some loose strands of hair framing your face, tucking it behind your ear and he couldn’t help but marvel at how cute you looked. You were nuzzled into his hands like a kicked little puppy—doe glassy eyes staring into his own.

Max lets out a shaky breath out his nose when a pout adorns your pretty pink lips, he wants to kiss it away, hear those moans you’d make against him. But first, he really needs to apologize for his negligence.

He coos at your broken voice, torn between his self pity and yearning for your presence even if he didn't deserve the slightest bit of your leniency, “‘m right here baby.” His chest continues to sting as your tears increase, the weight of his words hitting you harder than he expected.

He knows that his reassurance has touched a nerve, that you've been longing to hear those words for days. That he was never really gone, he still cared for you the same, just too stubborn about his own emotions. While keeping his tender hold on your face, his gaze never leaves your watery eyes. He wants you to feel his unwavering love, a necessity to put your mind at ease, “let me kiss you, can I?”

A soft hum coming from your throat and a small nod is enough confirmation for him to pull you into a fulfilling gentle kiss, one that you were familiar with, the kind that you yearned for so severely. The adoration was felt again as he put much effort and devotion behind it. It felt so good being cherished like this again.

With a pleased sigh passing through you, Max tilts his head—removing one of his hands from your face to hold your nape, intending to deepen the kiss even further. He takes the opportunity to push his tongue past your lips when you part your mouth.

The taste buds on your own wet muscle begin to flood with the flavor of bitter alcohol as it dances and tangles along with his. It was all so, so intoxicating. And he revels at how your lips always manage to be plump and soft, as tasty as he remembered. He mutters against them gently yet firm as he speaks, trying to convey his conflicted feelings, “so sorry my love, ‘m so sorry.”

He places a few chaste kisses on you before pulling away slightly so he can stare up at you for a moment, his pupils tracing every inch of your naked body. He can't get over how beautiful you look with desire and need whirling in your eyes. His heart stutters again with so much regret when you sniffle and hug his shoulders, pressing closer like you were trying to meld into one.

A small glimmer of light breaks through the storm of emotions when the sound of a sheepish giggle comes from your mouth. The lighthearted noise that he’s grown to love over the years of knowing you filling the tense air. Your saccharine voice overflows his ears with words of forgiveness, too compassionate for your own good. He muses at the fact that even through the stressful and pressuring times—the neglect, you were always there to welcome him with open arms.

Max rids the confines of fabric still clinging to his body with a sense of urgency, like a man on a mission to make it up to you. He tosses them to join the pile of your clothes forgotten somewhere on the floor before returning his mouth on you, this time on the column of your neck, peppering it. Starved and parched for you, just as much as you were for him.

His kisses are hot and wet, tongue lapping at your skin while his hands wander over your chest. He can feel you responding to his touches once more, pulse quickening just beneath his fingertips, your breathing coming out in faint gasps.

Small “I love you’s.” tumble from him like a mantra without stopping his focus on your skin. The once pained expression on your face now changed into an alluring one within ticks—cheeks flushed, eyes blown wide, and mouth slightly parted from all the attention.

It only fueled his hunger even more, growing impossibly harder inside of your pussy. “So fuckin’ pretty, I could stare at you like this forever.” His lips work their way up to your ear, licking the shell of it provokingly, the action has the hair on your arms standing stiffly. Max’s voice was direct and rough as he whispers, “fuck yourself onto me, go on baby you can move for me now.”

It's like a fire switch has gone off in your brain. At last, you lift yourself up until his flushed pink tip peeks out to the point of almost slipping out and slowly sink back down. Both of your mouths fall open to let out a low satisfied moan in unison. Your eyelids flutter, half-lidded now, barely being kept open with furrowed brows as you gape back at him.

“Haah!—“ your breath gets caught in your throat as he braces his feet on the floor and plunges his hips up to meet yours when you lift yourself again, stuffing his fat cock into your soaking heat in one instantaneous push. Your small hands claw on his shoulders in surprise, leaving red scratch marks on his pale skin.

“Breathe for me baby…yeahhhhh just like that. I can see you dripping for me, my needy girl look at you—so fuckin’ wet,” he bites his lip to stifle the guttural moan that threatened to slip at the sight before his eyes, “Missed you so much too—shit.”

He continues to run his filthy mouth with a vein protruding his neck and stills his hips so you can set your own pace, your walls shuddering around him in response to all of his words. Whilst you repeat the same action again and again, you’re already not able to formulate a single thought from the mind numbing sensations. Just mentally saturated at being filled to the hilt over and over and over.

“F-fuuuuuck, so good Max—feels so good!”

“That’s it, just focus on feeling good, ‘m here s’okay. You have me now.” He devours your mouth once more, this time with great fervor—his tongue exploring every inch of the wet cavern more hastily, tasting every bit of what you can give.

He swallows each and every little sound coming from you, every whimper and whine because of each drag of his length, feeling it reverberating through his mouth down to his chest—now full of warmth and contentment.

Max’s hands on your breasts continue to squeeze, fondling your mounds until his calloused fingers pinches and rolls your nipples between them to pebble up in the cool air, adding a jolt of pleasure in the mix. The feeling of you taking him inside, the sounds of your sweet gasps—it drives him insane. He groans deeply, breaking the kiss to have his head fall back against the chair.

You’re fucking him so good all of his tension and worries are melting away from each roll of your hips. Maybe a little too good that he’s biting the insides of his cheeks to stop himself from ramming into you like a madman.

"Keep using me however you want sweetheart, don’t stop ‘till you're satisfied,” he mutters, ragged and hoarse.

You can hardly focus, it was too much for you to endure. All you can make out is how good he feels, how his mushroom head hits that spongy spot with the way you’re taking him in so deep at this angle. This is everything you've ached for, so it’s no surprise how easily you’re falling apart so early on along with him. So overly sensitive and responsive to each stroke of his stiff cock, being able to feel every ridge and vein.

The observation of him splitting you open was incredibly arousing to gawk at. Strings of slick connects where the two of you continuously meet, hot and sticky with a translucent white painting the base of his length as you continue to cream around him.

He swears he feels like he’s floating, going absolutely delirious, and it’s obvious with the way he wouldn’t shut his mouth. Max always gets this way from the taste and feel of you, it’s like his mind couldn't fathom anything else around him.

“You're so good baby, so good for me," he praised, palms going to grip at your hips tightly. He’s clutching you so securely as if he can't bear to let go, leaving crescent shaped indents on your hips from his blunt nails. "You love this, you love being filled up by me, don't you?"

“Y-Yes, Max," you moan out needily, your own fingers digging into his shoulders, "I love it so much. Mnnh—so big.”

His grip on your hips tightens as he tries to hold back, to prolong the need to just pound into you, his breath coming in ragged, shallow pants. The sound of wet plaps! from skin slapping against each other fills the office walls when you move a little faster—air thickening around you further with the smell of sex. His brain clouds, losing himself in the pleasure you bring upon him. He can feel his willpower slowly giving way to his desire and need for you, but he wants you to have this.

The view of you riding him and your sweet whimpers was making it harder for him to control himself. He shuts his eyes and clenches his jaw to focus on not coming so quickly, “You're so tight, so perfect. Can’t even fuckin’—hah! Can hardly think straight.”

He makes it a point to hold out for you, so you can come at the same time just how he always likes. But you whine and suddenly stop, legs starting to strain. The vulgarity of his words, the sensations, it was all getting too overwhelming.

Max groans at the loss of pleasure, reopening his eyes to look at your flushed disheartened face, “What's wrong baby?”

“Need you,“ you whine frustratedly and press your forehead against his, swapping breaths as you both pant, “I can’t…”

"Need my help?" He grabs your hands to place it behind you so you can grasp at the steering wheel, this allows you more leverage and support to slam down onto him, “Lean back and hold onto this sweetheart, hold on tightly.”

For extra measure he snakes a strong arm around your back, holding your waist sturdily as he helps guide you to fucking him more harshly now.

“Oh f-fuck! You’re s-so deep!” You tip your head back, bearing your hickey covered neck to him. He almost came from the sight alone, a low groan bullying it’s way out of his mouth.

“Yeah? That’s better isn’t it baby?” He asks softly but there’s a clear hint of teasing, a playful mocking in his tone. Though his voice is finally starting to waver, all of it sends him into overdrive as he draws close to bursting at the seams. His fingers from his free hand tease the skin of your inner thigh, making your hips stutter slightly. “Oooh, s-shit just felt you squeeze around me, you like that?”

“No teasing Max,” you whine and cinch your brows together, looking back at him with a small scowl but it looks more of a pout in his eyes, “touch me please.”

“Demanding now are we?” Deciding to not be mean anymore than he already has been tonight because of how precious you looked—he licks the calloused pad of his thumb and presses it harshly against your clit, neglected and swollen. He circles it, spreading his spit and your wetness slowly. You shriek at the added stimulation and grip the steering wheel so hard your knuckles turn white.

“My good girl, my everything, all I ever need.” He’s babbling again when your pussy clamps down on him at the praise. Both of your brains seemingly go fuzzy yet in tune with one another, only thinking of one thing and it’s that sweet release.

With each moan from you, a sharp groan and grunt comes from him. His own hips begin to move with you again, no longer capable of keeping still, his thrusts matching each lift of your body. The pleasure builds and builds, becoming almost unbearable.

“So. Fucking. Good.” He punctuated his words with each buck, becoming more sloppy as time goes on—hanging so dangerously close to the edge. And he knew that you were almost there too, he could feel it in the way you were moving against him desperately, clenching and shaking around him. "You're close, aren't you, baby?"

Incoherent babbles of yes's and pleas were all you can respond with. Each drive of his hips were now constricted because of how hard you squeezed around him, your walls pulsing like a vice as your body goes taut.

He didn't stop, couldn't stop, he needed you too badly, needed to feel you as you fell apart for him, all because of him. His thumb rubs more vigorously against your bundle of nerves to heighten the pressure in your core, ready to burst at any given moment.

“Y-Yeah I know I'm right there with you, come on baby,” he urges and leans forward, licking and speaking against your ear, knowing that it’ll drive you even closer to your peak, “I want you to come for me–come with me.”

Your vision begins to blur, nerves on fire as you can only focus on the blissful pleasure. The moans coming out of you now louder and more high-pitched as you chase for your orgasm. He angles his hips and snaps up into you harder, now hitting your sweet spot more incessantly. You suddenly go quiet, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you come around him in a silent scream.

“Holy shit, gooooood fucking girl,” his concentration switches to pure ecstasy when he watches you shake atop of him, he can feel everything—every muscle and contraction around him, it was enough for the heat burning in his abdomen to explode along with you. The base of his cock throbs as spurts of cum shoots inside of you while a guttural moan rumbles deep within his throat.

His thrusts begin faltering as he tries to coax the most of your orgasm out of you, pushing his cum further into you as much as he can until the fat head of his now flaccid cock burns in overstimulation.

You collapse onto his chest blissed out and limp when you finally come down from your high. Completely fulfilled again as he hugs you to his sticky body, not caring to pull out, keeping you plugged full of his cum. His chest heaves against your head, rising and falling almost like a soothing lullaby, sitting there and just listening to each others heavy breathing.

“I’m sorry again my love,” he speaks after a while of calming quiteness.

“Shhh don’t talk about it anymore,” you chide playfully, resting your chin on his chest to stare up at him, “just don’t ignore me like that again.”

“Oh I don’t plan on it.”

The familiarity of your bond re-emerges. The tension and hurt from earlier is entirely gone, replaced by a sense of comfort and ease with you lax in his arms. His eyes drinks in the sight of you with a content smile plastered on his face. He’ll have to book a getaway for the rest of his winter break and take you over and over to make up for lost time.

© 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐂𝐘𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐙 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚 please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost.

[lumentears]

🔆 ohjoy Follow

okay since I recently found out that me and literally 5 other kids in my choir had a phase where we made serious plans to run away and become a 9th penitent - is this an 8th House thing or are teens just like that

🔆 ohjoy Follow

BONE CULTISTS? ON MY HELLSITE?

✒ blackquill Follow

It's more likely than you think.

♠ homefront-titties-of-the-4th Follow

i was dropping off the kids at the cohort seminar and the 2nd house recruiter saw my wheelchair and asked if I was a veteran ... like aye cap they gave me ms in the war

♠ homefront-titties-of-the-4th Follow

she asked me what front i served at and I said "the big one". she gasped

♠ homefront-titties-of-the-4th Follow

WHEN I CAME BACK TO FETCH THE SQUIRTS SHE HAD A VETERAN'S DISCOUNT STAMP READY FOR ME there were tears in her eyes i swear

🥴 badjokesbyjohn Follow

Why do milking stools only have 3 legs 

Because the cow has the udder.

⚪ the-redeemerrrrrr-deactivated

username checks out man you fell off. tf does that even mean

👅 one-flesh-one-smash Follow

fuck off back to deaddit. john has been trying to get an ARG off the ground for so long, let him cook. That ancient colour of the sky post was a banger

☕ fidelitea Follow

TIL that weird baby blue sky post came from the bad jokes guy

🌸 rigormortis Follow

feeling so aenemic today...

👄 what-that-mouth-of-the-emperor-do Follow

it's the year of our lord 10000, can we leave consumptioncore in the fucking dust where it belongs?! It's not cute, you're not giving Duchess of Rhodes, you're giving none of my friends want to spend time outside with me

🍖 drchuckshingle Follow

some sad news for y'all today. once again two of my shinglers, "pounded in the butt by the realisation that none of us will live to see a time of peace" and its sequel, "pounded in the butt by the realisation that the previous realisation must have occurred to dozens of my ancenstors and still we fight on", have been placed on the eighth house index of heresies. OH WELL! i will continue to write as long as there is one person waiting to read, and that person is ME!

📜 solace-in-thighs Follow

aw shucks that sucks! at least your works are in good company among other works of art on the index (or so i hear)

🩸 saints-alive Follow

dude we can all look up the index. "saint of seduction" "cavaliers off the leash" "pounded in the butt by a chainsmoking saint that remains otherwise unspecified and could belong to any fictional religion"

is that the good company you're speaking off? or are you just sad you can't jerk it to pervert porn anymore

📜 solace-in-thighs Follow

Nice try. Among erotic works, several priceless artifacts with immense cultural and scientific value have been indexed by the Eighth. E.g. the collected letters of General Duodecim to his spouses in the year of 3097, being one of the only firsthand accounts of the establishment of the first shepherd worlds. That's so long ago they still called them colonies! It's from before the divine edict of 4001!

🩸 saints-alive Follow

general duodecim was a weirdo who wrote self insert fanfic about himself getting his guts rearranged by the saint of duty TO HIS SPOUSES

📜 solace-in-thighs Follow

Psychometrists from the Sixth have affirmed the authenticity of the texts again and again. The Saint of Duty fucks nasty and raw, die mad about it <3

🍈 magnus-quinn-big-naturals Follow

I'm sad I can't jerk it to pervert porn anymore :(

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

the good news: they're letting me go out tonight!

the bad news: it's for my great-uncle's funeral.

the secret good news: I met him twice and those were two times too many. Odious man!

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

worse news: they've sat me next to Captain Deuteros I hate it here

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

looooord undying she's talking about the weather. Nice yellow we're having tonight! Lemon, with a hint of cadmium - or is it cadmium with a hint of lemon?

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

her shuttle journey was uneventful, if you were wondering. heaven forbid she experience two consecutive seconds of excitement.

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

she saw me using necrumblr under the table and tutted at me. L-O-L!

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

Maybe I should faint. I haven't fainted in ages!

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

IMPORTANT UPDATE. The Crown Princess of Ida struck up a conversation with her from across the table and the captain dropped a dumpling into her lap.

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

it's been five minutes. the Princess is still talking to her and the window in which she could have picked the dumpling up with minimal embarrassment has passed ages ago.

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

dumplingwatch: it's still there. waiting. cooling. soaking through her trousers.

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

RIP DUMPLING! The Princess is giving a speech and the captain kicked it under the table. She thinks nobody noticed

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER AGAIN I NEED THE CANCER TO GET ITS SHIT TOGETHER RIGHT NOW

[hazeljadie]

UNSAID WORDS | PARK SUNGHOON

bestfriend ! sunghoon x fem ! reader | wc. 3.3k synopsis: you instantly clicked with Sunghoon since you've started university, not realising when your adoration for your best friend turned into unrequited love genre: angst, fluff [SFW] a/n: tbh, this one has been collecting dust for months now - but hey, it was time for my first post ever!

Three years.

It has been three years, and yet every time I tried to say those simple three words to him, my voice got stuck in my throat. Why?

Why could I not confess my feelings to him? Say the most simple three words without overthinking my decision? Was I such a coward?

Yes, that was exactly what I was - a coward.

Watching and loving my best friend for the past three years just from the sidelines was the only thing I could do. I was too scared to find out that he didn't reciprocate my feelings for him. Hurting myself over and over in the process just because I couldn't stand losing him over my lousy greed for more. This had become my way of moving forward in life.

I should be happy with everything I already had in my life…right?

"Y/n, are you sleeping?"

I looked up. Sunghoon was towering over me, concern etched onto his tired face. His eyes took my breath away as they always did, but this time I couldn't stand to look into them.

My feelings for him were starting to suffocate me. My eyes teared up.

"Y- Y/n? Hey, are you okay?" Sunghoon crouched down while I sat back up in my desk chair. "Keep it down, silly. We're in the library." I tried to swallow the lump in my throat and smile at Sunghoon as he took a seat next to me, but judging from his intense stare, I knew he wouldn't let go.

"I yawned. You know how I always tear up when I yawn." The boy in front of me raised an eyebrow as if that was the most dumbest excuse one could come up with. But I lied through my teeth as if it couldn't be anything but the truth.

I squished his face with both my hands to break the awkward tension in the air. "Oi, the great and mighty Park Sunghoon, don't you know it's common sense for people to get tired when they pull an all-nighter?" I pinched his cheeks to distract him from getting any more suspicions about me.

Sunghoon swatted my hands away, smiling slightly at my annoying behaviour. He was convinced that I was indeed telling him the truth. "Cut it out, Y/n. Give me your car keys, I'll drop you off at your place. It's raining now and the streets are slippery since the temperatures have dropped too much."

No.

I didn't want to be confined with Sunghoon in a tight space like my car. Being in uni was different. What if I actually cried this time? Sunghoon would push me for answers. What if I finally gave in? He would leave me on the spot and never let me see him again-

"Don't even think about it, Y/n. You are definitely not driving".

Before I could even say anything to him, he snatched away my bag, fishing out my car key from the front pocket like he owned it. Protesting didn't do much - he simply stood up and left for the parking lot, my car key dangling between his fingers. I packed away my scattered study notes and pens on my table and ran after him.

❁

It didn't take us long and we were already on our way to my apartment, the rain sound was lulling me to sleep and I had a hard time keeping my eyes open. Sunghoon didn't mind and turned on the radio, softly humming to the songs that were being played. His voice worked its charm as if he were singing lullabies for me and I finally drifted off to a deep sleep.

"Hey, sleepyhead, wake up." Sunghoon nudged my cheek ever so lightly, I almost thought I was imagining things. "Y/n, wake up. We're here."

It took me a great effort to open my eyes, but I knew for sure that I wasn't imagining the light touches on my cheeks. Sunghoon was actually stroking my face as if I were the most delicate doll in the world.

Was my vision clouded again? Were my feelings for him messing with my mind?

I didn't trust myself to say anything to him. Not when my heart was acting up like this.

Without another word, Sunghoon took my bag from the backseat and looked through my bag until he found my house keys. Now holding both of our bags in his arms, he stepped out of the car and ran to my building on the opposite side to unlock the main door, only to be drenched by the heavy rain within seconds. He slammed it back and made sure the door wouldn't close and dropped both bags on the floor.

With long strides, he ran back to the car, opened the car door on my side. Out of nowhere, he swooped me up in his arms, careful enough so I didn't bump my head against the car.

"Sunghoon, I can walk!" I shivered when I clutched my body tighter to his, both were drenched to the bones at this point. But he didn't listen to me. He only put me down after we were already inside my apartment, pools of water formed under our feet in the entryway.

I looked dumbfounded at Sunghoon. What was going on in his head?

"Thank me later, Y/n. Can I crash here? Driving in this weather would be a foolproof way to see God, no kidding". He took off his wet coat, shoes, mismatched socks and stepped into the living room without even waiting for my answer.

"Sunghoon, what are you doing?" I followed his actions and trailed behind him to the living room, standing in front of him as he plopped down on my couch. "Whadd'ya mean 'what?'"

I don't know if it was my stance or the way I stared blankly at Sunghoon, but he understood that I was waiting for an explanation.

"Y/n, do you want me to drive back to my place in this rain? I've stayed awake for two days, too because of our uni project, Y/n, just like you've-"

"Sorry, I wasn't being considered towards you." I don't know why, but having Sunghoon in close proximity while I was sleep-deprived was not doing me any favours. I was tired, hurting, stupidly hopeful but irritated nonetheless. Sunghoon didn't do anything wrong for me to snap at him like that.

"You can stay here."

Without sparing him another glance, I dashed into my room and slammed the door close.

It hurt.

It hurt so much when the person I love was just a touch away, yet I couldn't reach out to him.

Love was never a necessity in Sunghoon's life. All his focus went towards his goal, making his dream turn into reality. Ever since he was a child, he knew exactly what he wanted from his life, and he was so close from reaching it. Following his passion made much more sense to him than being distracted by love and all the problems that came along with it.

My growing feelings were one of them.

And I had to put an end to it.

❁

I changed into comfortable clothes and laid awake in my bed as I watched the rain crash down against my window, turning the world outside into a blurry painting. I let my tears flow free and didn't even want to wipe them away. There was a void in me and it drained me of all my energy. My chain of thoughts were interrupted when I heard loud sneezes in the living room.

I stepped into the living room, the cold air nipping at my bare legs and arms that my pyjamas didn't cover, only to realise that Sunghoon fell asleep on the couch while his clothes were still wet. The rain didn't spare an inch of his body. And the couch turned dark from the wet material that clung to his body like a second skin.

"S- Sunghoon!" I was shaking his arms urgently, trying to wake him up. He didn't bother opening eyes, "Mmm, Y/n, stop-" "Sunghoon, please get up, you are drenched! You'll fall sick if you keep sleeping here!" Thankfully, I managed to make him sit up on the couch.

I went back to my room to pull out anything oversize Sunghoon could change into. 'These black joggers and t-shirt would have to do…both are size L, right?' I went back to Sunghoon to give him the clothes and pushed him towards the bathroom that was attached to my bedroom.

I walked back to the living room and headed to the kitchen to fetch myself a glass of water. I just really hoped that he didn't come down with the flu or something. What even was this bad luck of mine?

Sunghoon didn't come out from my room and I was feeling paranoid all of a sudden. 'He couldn't have fallen unconscious in the bathroom or something, right?', Not wasting another second, I took quick steps across the living room and reached for my bedroom. The only thing that came into my view, though, was Sunghoon lying peacefully in my bed.

I was taken back.

Obviously, Sunghoon couldn't sleep on the couch since his clothes made it wet, but I somehow didn't think through where else he might be sleeping - there was only my bed and the drenched couch in my apartment.

Where would I sleep now?

As if Sunghoon could read my mind, his groggy voice cut through the awkward silence in the room, "Y/n, could you bear with me for one night? Please? I…I swear, I won't do anything to you". His voice turned into a whisper in the end, as if it only dawned on him how ridiculous his plea sounded. "Trust me, please."

Would I trust him?

I trusted him.

More than I trusted myself in this situation.

So without batting in eye, I went over to my bed and climbed in, leaving enough space between us.

"Thank you, Y/n".

It wasn't a simple thank you between two best friends. It was a 'thank you' for the trust a woman was putting into a man's mere words.

I could've kicked Sunghoon out for even suggesting such an idea, because that was the obvious thing for me to do.

Or I could've even shouted at him - anything but laying next to the person I desperately tried to avoid in the first place. It seemed like the rained washed away every ounce of rationality I had in me.

❁

Soft snoring joined the sound of rain splattering against my windows. I couldn't fall asleep anymore, even though my eyelids felt heavy. It wasn't until I felt Sunghoon turn around and snake his arm around my waist that I became awfully aware of how close we were pushed against each other.

Sunghoon's breathing was tickling my neck, but I was stiff in my spot.

Was I supposed to wake him up? Did Sunghoon even have the faintest idea about what he was doing? What were his actions doing to my heart? Was he still asleep, not hearing how my heart was about to give up from beating too fast?

I waited.

I waited for him to stir, pull his arm away, or do anything. Something.

But he didn't.

I took a risk and slowly turned around under Sunghoon's arm. His face was void of any reaction, his breathing was steady and Sunghoon didn't seem to be awake.

A lump formed in my throat and it didn't want to go away, no matter how often I tried to swallow it down. My vision became blurry until the tears were flowing out and slowly turning my pillow case a shade darker.

My right hand hesitantly reached up and stopped mid-air. What was I doing? Sunghoon will hate me for this. He doesn't love me.

But my body had a mind of it's own: I was lightly caressing Sunghoon's cheek, unable to stop myself from doing so.

Will I ever be able to get over my love for this man?

Will I ever be as important to him as his ambitions in life?

Was falling in love supposed to be this painful?

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't see Sunghoon's open eyes staring right into mine.

I froze on the spot.

But he didn't do anything after that. He wasn't moving away.

Why?

The rain had no intention of slowing down and was splashing just as forcefully against the window behind us as it did a few hours ago. But I was damn sure that Sunghoon could hear my heart thumping loudly in my ribcage.

It felt like an eternity had passed, with neither of us pulling away from each other. My hand was still on Sunghoon's cheek, while his arm was resting on my waist as if it belonged there.

"Why aren't you saying anything, Sunghoon?" My voice was shakey and barely audible.

Sunghoon's voice also came out in a soft whisper, "Am I…supposed to say anything, Y/n?" His eyes were still void of any expression. I didn't have the faintest idea about what was going on in his mind.

"You don't hate-" I took a sharp intake of air before I continued, "You don't hate me for doing this to you?" I looked at my hand on his cheek and back into his eyes. I was nervous of his answer.

"It doesn't feel wrong, Y/n." His voice was shaking. "This…feels right, Y/n."

My heart stopped hearing those words. Did he not realise what he was saying?

We were still facing each other, not knowing what we should do - we were just lost in each others eyes, when Sunghoon spoke up. "I don't know what I should do, Y/n. I'm scared of this."

This sentence pierced through my already hurting heart. I removed my hand from his cheek and tried to pull back, but Sunghoon's grip on my waist tightened.

"I'm scared of hurting you, Y/n." Sunghoon was tearing up.

"Why would you even hurt me-"

"Because I'm falling in love with you, Y/n."

My whole world came to a stop. "What?"

The way Sunghoon's gaze changed made me question everything. I've never seen him look at me like that - the vulnerability in his eyes made my heart ache in a way I never had expected.

Sunghoon's tears were staining the side of his face now, before he pulled me into his chest and hugged me safely in his arms.

"I've never loved anyone in my life, Y/n. It was never meant for me. People come and go in my life and I never look back at them. But you…I'm scared of losing you. I started to make an effort of learning about the things you like and dislike, about the things you do and love. Unknowingly, you became an irreplaceable person in my life - you became my best friend."

Sunghoon was stroking my head so lightly as if I could break from a wrong touch. "Staying with you became as normal as filling my lungs with air to stay alive. But I started to become greedy - I wanted to have you for myself. Y/n, I was never jealous of anyone or anything in my life, because for me, working hard meant that I can achieve anything, get anything I want. But with you…"

I pulled back and looked into Sunghoon's dark eyes. His usually sharp gaze looked so vulnerable right now. His voice was breaking, "For the first time in my life, I felt a fear: why would you stay by my side if I don't know how to love? How to love you? You know what love is, but I don't…and I've never felt so lost in my life, Y/n. What if I can never love you the way I'm supposed to do it? The way you deserve to be loved? What if you start to hate me and-"

I stopped him. My hand was resting on his lips as both of us couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

"Do you mean it, Sunghoon?"

He cupped my hand with his, kissing the very palm that shushed him mere seconds ago.

"Yes."

I wiped away his tears and scooted closer to him. I had the sudden urge to feel his warmth on my skin. My voice was equally hoarse as Sunghoon's was before.

"Will you…Will you let me stay by your side, if I told you that I love you?"

I knew I was pushing my luck at this point, but Sunghoon had planted a seed of hope in my heart, and I couldn't stop it from sprouting.

"Y/n, do you really love me?" His soft hands were wiping away my tears now and delicately cradled my face between his palms, "Would you really stay with me? Even though I don't know how to love you…the way you truly deserve to be loved?"

Unsaid words that seemed like a far away dream were finally seeing the light of the world for the first time.

I smiled through my tears at him, with a flurry feeling in my chest that made me gasp for air, "I love you, Sunghoon. I always have."

Sunghoon mirrored my smile and bumped his forehead against my own. His breathing quickened, like he was having a hard time staying calm. He looked up and gazed lovingly into my eyes, not breaking eye contact even once. "Say that again, Y/n. Please."

"I love you, Sunghoon…I love you, I love you, I love-"

He didn't let me finish.

Sunghoon's plump lips covered mine in a long, warm kiss that left both of us short of breath.

All the feelings, love and desire we had for each other were poured into this kiss. The way he was still caressing my cheek while kissing me made me light-headed. My lungs were on fire, and I broke our kiss to catch air. The rain had finally slowed down and the sudden burst of moonlight escaping between the dark clouds made Sunghoon's face appear so magical as if this was all a dream.

"Do you…really love me, Sunghoon?" I had to make sure that this wasn't just another dream of mine. I had to make sure that Sunghoon felt the same for me as I did for him.

"I love you, Y/n. I love you so, so, so much." Sunghoon's whole face lit up with the brightest smile I've ever seen.

I've never witnessed him smile like this before - with so much adoration, love and want in his eyes, it almost made me choke up.

"And I will do anything in my might to show you just how much you mean to me."

Sunghoon kissed me. Again.

It felt like our lips were always meant to be this way. Like they belonged to each other. Like this was the only way we were supposed to exist.

Sunghoon smiled into the kiss. He placed a soft kiss on my forehead. Then one on my right eye. Another one on the left eye. On my right cheek. One on the left one too.

Sunghoon started to place a trail of kisses on my neck and collarbone while his fingers delicately feathered over every inch of me within his reach. His lips traced my skin while he was moving lower and lower…and lower.

I lifted both of my hands and reached for his hair, using my soft grip on his dark locks to tug him back up to me, his lips were playing with mine again.

"Y/n", Sunghoon's voice came out as a strained whisper, "…there's still a chance to stop me, you just have to tell me once".

That unwanted fear settled back in his eyes: he didn't want me to regret our actions later just because we were getting carried away with the mood.

But I knew exactly what I wanted, what I needed to do.

And I've never been so sure about anything in my life like right now in this moment.

"Love me all the way and make me yours, Park Sunghoon."

[hoshigray]

𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐌𝐄 [& 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝑴𝑬] 𝐔𝐏!! | tōji fushiguro

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: It's bad enough you got a crush on your gym instructor, Toji; however, it gets worse when things become too close and personal for this relationship...But who says you shouldn't get a little praise for your hard work?

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: personal trainer! Toji x fem! reader - explicit contents; minors DNI - unrequited/crushing » mutual pining - sex in a public space (gym locker room + showers) - shower sex - thigh riding - oral (m! + f! receiving) - ball massaging - face + throat-fucking - breast fondling + nipple play - against a wall + upstanding citizen + standing 69 positions - praise - clitoral play (swiping and pinching) - cervix fucking - pet names (angel, baby, doll, dollface, good girl, princess, sweetie, sweet thing) - unprotected sex (doesn't shoot inside tho) - overstimulation - cameos: Haibara and Ino (gym manager and employee) - the reader accidentally walks into the men's locker room (they're a bit dumb, forgive them, lol) - mention of sweat spit and tears.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 8.4k (i'm about to lose my mind, bro.)

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: mannnnnn, the way this draft has been collecting dust, it was supposed to be released on Dec!! ofc my first fic back would be for toji lmao. anyways, i hope you enjoy, and tysm for 4.7k y'all are so sweet ;;w;; and thank yeww @ramonathinks for beta-reading, mwah mwah

“That one was weak; do another three.”

“Gahh– …You’re such an asshole, Fushiguro.”

“Heh, like that’s anythin’ new. C’mon, let’s go!”

We’re counting down to the last weeks of the year, and so many people have already promised affirmations for themselves in the upcoming year. In terms of this year, you can’t say much. You’ve done your work, hung out with the same people since last year, and probably learned to spoil yourself more. Maybe another thing you can be proud of is that you crossed some TV series off your “get-to-watch” list, so go you!

Although, besides those minimal things, there is one change in your life that you’ve committed yourself to. One thing that you didn’t expect to be so in tune with throughout the past half of the year. It started as a forced challenge because your friend Miwa needed someone to motivate her to maintain her gym membership. What was once something you’d thought a one-time thing gradually became something you enjoy — something you felt proud doing!

Not only has your knowledge of your body and how to keep it in good shape improved over half a year, but your love for the community has grown more and more. The gym you go to feels like a second home, with many people you’ve gotten to know and befriend along your journey. Even the manager, Haibara Yu, practically treats you like a sibling after seeing you every other day. The same goes for the front desk associate, Ino, who is the goofiest goofball you’ve ever met (not to mention the best drinking buddy). 

But – if you really had to pick – there is one person who has made this experience more enjoyable and worthwhile. “Hahhh!! There, I did them! Aren’t you supposed to be my spotter, not a shit-talker?”

“I’m doin’ my job, aren’t I?” Toji Fushiguro, your gym instructor for the past few months, has been a driving force in your physical journey. With his help, you’ve been disciplining yourself in and outside of the facility, maintaining a good diet, and keeping your body active in a balanced fashion. The gratitude you have for him supersedes all. But above all else, throughout the years, the two of you have gotten pretty close and know a good chunk about each other to call yourselves friends – at least, that’s what you’ve been doing. “Alright, that’s enough lifting for today; time for stretches.”

Aside from a friend, there is something else you refer to him as – something you’d rather die than admit out loud. Toji, your trainer, is your gym crush. Well, your crush in general. 

Can you really blame yourself, though? Look at the man! When you first look at him, his physique alone is enough to keep you staring at him for hours and hours on end. Strong, bulky arms that look like they could pick up five treadmills in one sitting and with veins that decorate up to his forearm can effortlessly grab the attention of the normal eye. He’s wearing his black fitted tee, so tight that it was as if it was vacuum sealed to perfectly showcase the outline of his abdomen, ribs, and pectorals. And it doesn’t help from the back view either; you can’t count how many times you fell into a short trance from admiring his gorgeous back, from his trapezius to his waist. Every time the man flexes his biceps and triceps, all you can do is internally thank the gods for sculpting such a man to be in front of you. And those beautiful thighs and calves shaped from his black leggings and shorts? Damn.

But the thing about him that has you squeak more than a mouse are his eyes. Forest green orbs that can shift into a stern concentration whenever he’s working on a machine or when he’s observing your form and finds whatever needs correcting. Then there are times when they are mellow and soft when you’re speaking with him or when he’s deep in thought about something until you catch his attention. Then he’d throw a small smile at you — your biggest weakness. The scar on his lip being lifted to a curl never fails to put your stomach into knots.

He’s such an attractive man from the first moment you ever laid your eyes on him. You were bound to fall in love with him one way or another. It just sucks that it’s under such a professional relationship that you have to keep this little unrequited love to yourself.

Which is getting harder and harder every day, especially now when the guy is so close to your face when he’s helping you stretch. Oh, dear lord. 

Every time you are done lifting weights, Toji will have you do stretches. He has you do them before and after a workout as they give your muscles time to warm up and straighten from the stress you put on them. So now, as you’re laying on your mat, Toji puts one hand on your right leg to keep it grounded on the floor and his other hand on the back of your left to push it up to your chest. The position has the two of you so close, him being situated between your legs and observing your breathing; it’s so wrong of you to dwell your mind into other things – other raunchier things.

And when he brings both your legs up to your chest, how the fuck are you supposed to calm your heart from exploding!?? You have to close your eyes during all this to not be pulled in by the examination of his gaze under his raven bangs. This is, without a doubt, the best worst part of the workouts. Thankfully, this is the last workout of the week, and the gym is about to close within an hour and a half. 

Toji breaks the suffering silence between you two. “Y’re still stiff; take deeper breaths f’r me.”

Oh, if only he knew how your dirty mind took that sentence. You chew on your lip with a gulp, “Maybe I still have a little energy in me that still wants to exercise.”

That made him chortle. “Is that so? Well, maybe after your stretches, you can get on the stairmaster for a few minutes.”

You gawk at him, only furthering the smirk on his face. “Are you serious!?? You promised we wouldn’t do any cardio until next week.”

“Well, next week is around the corner,” Toji moves your knees a bit to the left, bending them further down to your chest so his face could be a little closer to yours. Your brain almost short circuits at the movement, trying to distract yourself from the fact that his groin is mere inches away from your shorts. “So, since ya got the spirit, be a doll and do a few minutes on the machine, okay? Five minutes.”

Your breathing is so slow that you’re too scared to move. Your lips pressed to a thin line to conceal the quiver, and your eyes don’t dare venture down. You already know your body is going through its own internal turmoil, a throbbing sense occurring in your lower regions the more you keep looking at Toji, who lifts a brow from awaiting your response. Oh, this man is going to kill me.

“…Five minutes.” 

“Atta girl.” With a scoff, he finally straightens himself and places your legs on the mat. Toji then stands on his feet and grabs his bag. “Gonna head for the showers; finish up those stretches and head for the stepmaster. See ya later, Y/n.” And you watch him leave for the men’s locker room, finally having room to breathe. Before you can conclude your stretches with a cobra and child’s pose, you grumble to yourself in a whisper.

Why the hell did I have to fall in love with such a snarky, gruff, older guy like him…

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

You enter the locker room after completing the instructed exercise. Your mind is dizzy from walking on the step machine for about fifteen minutes, and your legs are mere minutes from turning into jelly. You curse Toji internally for the insufferable torture you’ve stressed on your poor limbs. 

No matter, though; you’re finally done for the evening and can head home to your soft bed. The gym will close soon, so perhaps you could use the locker room showers to freshen up. But then again, after the strain you’ve put on your body for almost two hours, all you want to do is be home and listen to your favorite music. I don’t feel like cooking today…  

Further into the room, you can hear the sound of someone using the showers, indicating you had picked the right idea to head home. You head for the locker side to grab your items to put in your bag before leaving, and it’s then that you hear the water stop running from where the showers are. Oh, shit,  make this quick, Y/n!

In front of you is the locker with the number you’re familiar with — where you always leave your things, like your own spot. You open it only to find….nothing is in the locker? Huh? Where are my leggings? And my phone??

Come to think of it, where’s your duffel bag that you usually leave on the bench against the lockers? You’ve never had a problem with people stealing from you in this place, so how does a bag full of your stuff magically disappear? There is a bag in here, but it’s definitely not yours. And now that you get a good look, you start to notice that the color of the lockers is of a different, darker shade than what you’re usually accustomed to. Wait a minute, am I in the wrong—

“Y/n?”

You go still at the familiar voice. Oh no, please, God, no. There’s no way. Your eyes teeter to the corner as you ever-so-slowly turn to the direction where that voice was coming from. And, of course, it was your personal trainer, who is—OH MY GOD!!!

Toji stands afar on the opposite side of you from the showers, without clothing, his body and hair completely drenched from water. The only thing that covers him is a white towel wrapped around his lower body. His body, which you’re used to seeing being snug tight by his gym clothes, is out for you to see as water trickled down from his clavicle, pecs, ribcage, and abs. For a split second, you take in as much of the image as you can, storing this as it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity in your mind (maybe to fuel more of your erotic fantasies when you go home). But you avert your gaze when your eyes travel down his abs, counting each one until you reach below his belly button, where strays of dark hair become more prominent with a trail down his pelvis and—Okay, stop looking, stop looking!!

“M–Mr. Fushiguro!?” You croak, eyes wide with realization at what you’ve just done. Your dumbass just walked into the men’s locker room without checking first. And to add salt to the wound, your crush is the first person to catch you in the act, “O-Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to walk in here! I’ll get going—“

“No, no, Y/n, calm down,” Toji walks to where you’re standing; a mini-heart attack was about to be deployed until the older man turned to the side to grab for something in his bag. He pulls out a smaller towel. “Ya walked in here on accident, right?”

You gulp, seeing the steam from the shower still leave from Toji’s nude body. “Uhm, yeahhh, I don’t know where my head was at. Sorry…”

The gym instructor scoffs at your apology. “It happens; must’ve been a bit light-headed from the exercise and forgot where y’re at. Heh, guess those five minutes did more damage than I thought.”

“Ahaha, yeah, it was…pretty….dreadful……” Were you distracted? Yup. Because Toji used the towel he pulled from his bag to wipe off the water from his arms and face. You couldn’t help but survey the man’s movements, watching the small white towel brush on his triceps and glide down to his torso. You continue watching the small towel until your eyes drift to the happy trail on his pelvis. Your breathing goes uneven, thinking of more indecent things that connect with the trail of hair and the limb that’s shielded by the towel around Toji’s waist.

“…–ou there…Y/n?” Your name said to you snaps you back, realizing where you are and what you were doing. Your eyes crawl back to Toji’s face, who throws a small smile at you. “Eyes up here, sweetie.” Sweetie?!? If the floor could give way and swallow you, that would be appreciated. “Is there anythin’ else you need to tell me while y’re here?”

No, I’m in the men’s locker room, so I need to hurry and get the fuck out! “Uhmm, n-nope, nothing at all! So…I better get going now. See you later, Mr. Fushiguro!” You turn on the heel of your foot to head for the door, only able to take about five giant steps before Toji stops you again.

“How was it today?”

Oh, for fuck’s sake, what now!? You look over your shoulder. “Excuse me?”

“The workout. How was it?”

“It…It was, umm, alright, I guess. I feel like I could’ve done better on the weights.” 

“And why is that?”

Your body turns to have your front fully face him again. “Well, I mean, I was struggling at the last few reps…I’m sure you noticed, too, since you scolded me about it.”

He hums. “Ya know I correct you because, I know, you can do better, right, Y/n?” It was rhetoric, but you humor him with a slow nod. He brings the small towel to his head and dries his damp hair. “I’ve had many clients who come at me with everything they got or burned out before the first two months. But don’t worry, Y/n, I can tell you take pride in what we’re doing, and it’s good to know…” 

His words drown out from your ears. You didn’t mean for it to – you really didn’t. But while Toji was fixing his hair, you snuck more peeks at his body, enjoying his side profile. Admiring the way his arms move and flex, following the rocky silhouette of his abs that lead down to the towel again, you gasp at the dent of something that appears to be between Toji’s legs. Good lord, even with the cotton material covering him, you can still see it and—

“….Y/n.” Oh no, I did it again. You gulp with eyes venturing back to Toji’s face; the grin grew broader than before. “That's twice, sweet thing.” 

“S–Sorry, Mr. Fushiguro. It’s just that you have a...uhhh…” The heat in your ears makes it hard to concentrate on looking at the ground, anything to avoid your instructor’s gaze. “…..areallynicebody—“

“Hmm? I didn’t hear that, sweetie,” Sweetie? Sweetie!? Why'd he call me that? What you should be questioning is why that nickname made your stomach flip. But who are you kidding — if anyone had a crush on their instructor and were called a cute name like that, of course, they’d be as hot as a volcano. “Didn’t catch that, say it fr’ me again.”

“I–I said that,” Oh for fuck’s sake, this is so embarrassing! “You have a nice body…An attractive body, really…” The heat on your cheeks and ears is reaching heights that would have you combust at any moment. It’s what you’d hope for, honestly. It’s bad enough you’re stuck in the men’s locker room for not paying attention; now you’re here admitting to your instructor that you got the hots for him. God, please strike me here and now!

Toji says nothing after you say that, and it has your nerves at an all-time high, wondering if you should wait for his reply or just dash for the door and hope no one sees you leaving the men’s locker room. However, his voice breaks the silence, “I can say the same fr’ you.”

Oh, stop it. “Oh, please, no need to butter me up, Mr. Fushigu—“

“I’m serious.” He shuts down your argument down your argument before you can even finish. “C’mere.”

Why did you do what you were about to do? You could’ve just declined, exited the facility, and headed straight home to wallow away about this entire interaction, maybe find a different gym to form a membership with. But you didn’t. Instead, with downcast eyes, you slowly approached your instructor, who stood behind the locker bench. “Closer,” he says, noting how you’re about two arms length away from him, which you meekly decrease to one. “You don’t think ya got a nice body?” 

The adjacency between you two was too much for you, your face minutes from imploding. Too shy for words, you settle for a nod to give.

“How come?”

For God’s sake, this is not a conversation you want to have now with your crush instructor in the middle of the men’s locker room. “I…Well, Mr. Fushiguro—“

“Toji,” he cuts you off, discarding the small towel to the top of his bag. “Y’re over here tellin’ me I look good when you’re the one lookin’ like you could strike any guy that walks up in this place. Doncha think so?” 

Again, your eyes avoided his toweled figure, focusing on the tiled floor beneath your sneakers. “I guess, but…Toji, when compared to you, I—“

“Then that’s what ya shouldn’t be doin’, who told you to compare y'rself to others?” Toji brings a hand to your chin to make your avoidant peer placed on him, a move you were not mentally strapped in for. “I’m me, and y’re you, right?” 

“Right…”

“And that’s a good thing,” the hand on your chin slides down to the inside of your hoodie, his forefinger sneaking under the band of your sports bra. It makes your breathing stop. “But ya know what else I think?”

“What?” You sounded so low – so tiny – you didn’t know if he could hear you. He then brings his face close to your ear, and you could’ve sworn you almost felt your heart jump out of your throat. His free hand comes around your waist, pulling you even closer to him. The cotton of the towel now brushed your leg, and you could sink into a pool of embarrassment at the gasp you let out.

His voice was hoarse and low, the air from his nostrils grazing the skin of your ear. “…I think y’r body is the sexiest thing I’ve seen.” 

The sentence hit you like a truck, your heart almost giving in to a complete shutdown. “Huh–Ohhhh, wait,” Toji takes a nibble of your ear while his hand slithers your hoodie off of you, freeing your arms and covered chest where he creeps his hand inside next. You whimper at his fingers on your nipples that harden at his grinding touch. “Toji, wait, please wait…Do you really mean—“

“Mhmm, I do,” He coos, and a kiss to your neck nearly has you give way and lose balance; lucky for you, Toji was smart enough to have a leg between yours. “Now that I have you here, I’ll prove it.” 

“We’re—Ahhnnn…But we’re in the men’s locker room,” Toji brings his face up to look at you, your half-lidded eyes locked with his emerald orbs. “Someone could see us…”

Your worries are taken with a caress to your cheek. “Don’t worry about other people when y’re with me. I gotcha, baby.” 

“And I’m…Ohooo, really sweaty…”

“Nothin’ a shower can’t fix.”

And before you refute him again, Toji places his scarred lips onto yours, a shocked moan muffled as he kisses and sucks on your bottom lip. The hand in your bra now positions to the back of your neck, positioning you for him to deepen the kiss once you allow him access to your mouth. And once you kiss him back, all the reins of restraint have been discarded along with your hoodie to the floor.

The sounds of lips smacking get louder by the second, the passion in the kiss unraveling when you bring your hands to cup his cheek and have his face practically glued to yours. And Toji complies, shoving his tongue to tease and play with yours. The hand that was on your waist comes down to your ass for him to grope with the flesh, urging more of your sobs to be taken from him. Is it possible for your brain to turn into mush from a kiss? You’re finding that out now, breaking the kiss to gather whatever air you can before Toji claims your lips again.

The leg you’re riding on is nestled between your thighs, rubbing against the groin of your shorts. With every kiss and hump comes a grind on his leg, and it alleviates the growing ache that’s flourishing in your panties. Shivers travel up your spine and heighten your horniness, this elated feeling so dangerous that you could turn into putty at any second.

Toji lets go of your lips with a heavy pant, breathlessly snickering at his work; turning his cute client into a mess flipped a switch he’s been dying to indulge with. “Mmmm, y’re too fuckin’ cute, baby,” he wipes your mouth before letting you go; you hold back a whine when he removes his warm figure from you and steps back. It’s then that your instructor finally removes the towel that’s been shielding a now-discernible tent. The white towel meets the floor, and you follow his happy trail to meet with his erection, a sight that makes your jaw drop. The older man takes a seat on the bench behind him, and his legs spread out for his dick and balls to be ever-so-present and seen.

“Ya see how crazy you and y’r body make me?” He bites his lip, getting more turned on with you marveling at him and his length. “C’mere, angel, lemme see what you can do.” It takes a good mental slap to snap out of your frozen state and look at the thing you’ve been imagining all these months. Now, when the chance has finally been brought to you, how could you pass this up?  Following Toji’s command, you come close and go to your knees between his legs. 

The sheer size and girth of his length nearly put you in a trance, your eyes taking every detail of his erection before your eyes. Every dent and curve, the prominent veins from the underside, and the oddly pretty pink tip where bits of precum dare protrude from the urethra. Your raised hand has hesitance, yet Toji is quick to assuage your unease, taking your hand with his and wrapping it on his cock. The rough skin on your palm hitches your breath, “Hmmm, oh fuck. Yeah, just like that, princess.”

And there he goes again, egging you on with more cute pet names. Your hand slides up and down along his shaft from the tip to the base, and the sensation of its veins is so raunchy for your overwhelmed fingertips. Toji’s gruff hums to your touches stick to your ears the most, a sound you never in your wildest dreams thought you’d be lucky enough to hear. You want to keep hearing them, want them to be stored in your memory for as long as you can. And when you meekly tease his glans with a tiny lick, the hiss he expresses turns you on even more, so much so that you take the tip with patience and start to suck.

Toji throws his head back to the lockers behind him; the feeling of your tongue rolling around his girth as you inhale his cock is crazy. Fuck, it felt so good – he has to fight the urge to rut into your hollow cheeks and puffy lips. “Hahhh…Mmmm, damn….Ahahaha, ya know how to use that mouth of y’rs, Y/n. Keep suckin’ me off like that, and I’ll—Ohhh! Shit, shit, shiiiit,” he wasn’t prepared for you to take in his entire erection to the hilt. The tightness of your throat around him sends shivers, having to use the bench to grip onto.

You bob your head along his length, a hand accompanying the motions to further the exhilaration. Spit and come wet your palm, yet you’re too focused on the task to care, the haze of your brain increasing every time your lips meet the pubes of his pelvis. The jerk of his hips entails that you’re doing a good job, Toji bringing a hand to the back of your head when you kiss and lick on the head of his cock. You take note, assuming that it’s his weak spot, and continue to suck and tease the tip some more, massaging his testicles which almost had him choke. 

“—Hnnmph! Fuckin’ shit, I can’t…” Toji then has enough of this ribbing pleasure, unable to hold it anymore. With a careful hold on your skull, he stands from the bench and plows your face with his member. The harsh hit of his hips propelling his dick down to the deep crevices of your throat was sudden; the assault on your uvula results in your gag reflex; however, Toji was here to calm you down, “It’s alright, angel, breathe fr’ me.” He caters to you with a mediocre rhythm to the hips, the movement relieving the abrupt stress to your throat as you hum on his cock. You find purchase on his thighs to stabilize yourself while he plays with you orally, dialing up the pumps to your mouth until it reaches an erratic mood. Fuck, it has your head ringing, but the growing twinges and throbs between your legs practically excite you for more. Goddamn, it feels so good. So fucking good. “Jesus Christ—Y/n, I’m ‘bout to cum. Keep swirlin’ that tongue…Nnmmm, fuuck, right there, right there—Ahhhck!!”

His release comes with a few rough hits to your lips, his balls hitting your chin until they’re pressed against it. He pups his load into you, and you take it like a champ, letting the fluid venture down as the girth pulsates around your walls. His choked breathing eventually simmers down, giving it a few long seconds before he steadily removes himself from your warm cavity. The last remnants of his white substance paint your tongue, your saliva coating him. And with a voluntary swallow, you open your mouth again to showcase your clean change.

“Heh, didn’t even have to tell you,” Toji chortles, bringing a thumb to wipe your chin. “Good girl.”

KA-CHA! CREEEEK!!

Wide green eyes shoot wide along with yours, and the both of you go frozen rigid. That was most definitely the sound of a door opening. The door to the men’s locker room, where you are on your knees, in front of your personal instructor, with his dick out for the whole world to see. The blood in your body runs cold, and your stomach drops to the chilly floor. Oh, it’s over. It’s done. Your life is officially coming to an end. Welp, it’s time for me to think of a good suicide note when I get home and—

Pause on that. Because one moment you were thinking of your demise from this discomfiting situation, next you’re being dragged by Toji to the other part of the locker room, the showers. He swiftly opens a curtain and throws you both inside with a close, and the wet tiles soaked to your socks have you cringe, so you take them off.  

“Hello?” It’s a guy’s voice, of course — Ino’s. The young man is probably inspecting the male locker rooms before they close for the night like usual. You don’t dare speak so much as a letter when the footsteps draw closer to the showers, your heart rate spiking to a nervous high, and your breathing shallow. This is worse; now you’re in a confined space, face-to-face with Toji, who is utterly nude, towel left back on the bench. Your eyes locked with his, and your ears to the sounds of shoes entering the plane. “Anyone here? Saw some stuff at the front.”

“Yeah, I’m here,” your expression turns to sheer terror, wide orbs looking at the raven-haired man who spoke. No! Why would you say something!? 

“Hmm? Toji, that you?” Ino’s voice comes closer, in front of the shower curtain that shields you from his field of vision. Your heart is on the verge of dropping to your intestines. “You’re still here? Figured you’d be home by now.”

“Nah, I’m still here. Just about to finish up and head out.” Toji then turns on the faucet, cold peeps of water hitting your sweaty skin, panties, and sports bra. And, of course, it catches you off guard. OH FUUUUUU—  You don’t scream. You can’t. Instead, you shield your mouth and turn your back to Toji after giving him the most outstanding death glare of your life, which the older finds amusement in. You wipe your face from the water, cursing internally at this entire predicament. 

“Oh, okay, cool. I was just worried someone left their stuff on that bench over there. Carry on, and have a good night!” Ino dismisses himself and leaves the showers, and you exhale a silent sigh of relief. Oh, thank goodness…

Toji, on the other hand, sees your relieved state, and he can’t help but grin to himself with what he’s about to do. Moving closer to you, he brings his wet hands to your sports bra and immediately goes to fondling your breasts. A moan sneaks past you at the contact, prompting him to grope you even more. “T–Toji,” the water gradually gets warmer, juxtaposing with his cold fingers. “Stop, we have to leave, this is—Ohooo…” He tweaks your nipples with his forefinger and thumbs, and a leg sneaks in between yours.

“Relax, dollface, it’s just you and me here,” Oh, sweet Lord, you almost fell to your knees when he whispered to your ear and a teasing lick to your helix. “Got ya all to myself, now…” Toji kisses the crook of your neck, his wet hair brushing your cheek while he snakes his hand down into your panties. The way his fingers graze your clit again has you arch your back to him, another hushed shriek when he bullies his way between your folds. 

“Hey, Toji?” Ino’s voice again. Back to anxious stakes now that Toji’s toying with you. Goddamn it, Ino! What are you still doing here!? “I noticed you left your towel on the bench over there. But I also saw Y/n’s hoodie there.” Oh, fuck me!! Shit, shit, shit—"Ohhmph!!"

With quickness, you covered your mouth before your moan caught the ears of the front desk employee. And the reason for that is that Toji pulled down your soaked underwear and gave your chasm a sudden lick. If Ino weren’t back here, you’d give your personal trainer the nastiest kick to the throat you could ever do. But when he inserts a finger inside you, your aggression withered away in seconds. 

“Huh? Ohh, yeah, ‘bout that,” Toji stands back up and continues to finger you, chuckling at the sight of your trembling figure using the wall as leverage. “I saw ‘em before headin’ to the locker room. We talked for a while, but then they said they needed to change and told me to hold their hoodie for ‘em.” He says it so casually, all the while scraping your inner walls with the tip of his forefinger, summoning hushed cries that turn to silent screams when his free hand comes down to playfully pinch and press on your clitoris. God, this is too much torture for one night. 

Ino keeps questioning. “Really? I had someone check the other locker rooms, and she said she didn’t see anyone or anything except for a few personal items and leggings in one of the lockers. I’m guessing those would be Y/n’s, but where could they be?” Little did he know that you were just a curtain pull away from being found, chewing hard on your lip to quash your screams from the erratic swiping on your clit and the curving hits of his digits in your wetness.

“Mmmm, they probably are at another part of the gym or waitin’ for me at the front.” He lies effortlessly, yet his attention is still on you as he removes his fingers from you, the pleasure subsiding from the removal. Instead, he brings his erection in between your folds and humps you, and the feeling of his dick on your lips worsens the throbs in your awaiting cunt. With the heat coming from the shower and your uneven breaths, you’re bound to faint at any moment. 

“Ahh, makes sense. Alright, I’ll try and find them then,” you don’t say anything, just hesitant breaths when you feel the tip of Toji’s cock align and lightly push to your slick-coated entrance. Holy fuck, this is actually happening! Your lips quiver when Toji comes down to your ear to tell you to relax your body from tension, quietly maneuvering you by pulling your lower half to him. You do big inhales and exhales while the man pushes his cockhead to enter your cunt, wincing at the few seconds of pain that accompany each push. “See you later, Toji, and I put your towel on the hood next to your shower for when you’re done. Good night!”

“See ya.” And with Toji’s dismissal, Ino’s footsteps draw farther and farther from where you two are. And the moment you hear the locker room door slam close, Toji pushes the entire cockhead inside of you. Finally, you can squeal out to your heart’s content, balling your fists on the shower wall while your personal trainer wedges his length inside of you and stretches your walls. The girth was definitely something you knew would be an obstacle to accommodate, and it’s worse when your slit keeps clamping around the foreign limb invading inside. Tears begin to swell from the stinging touch, not that they would be distinguished by the shower water hitting behind you and Toji.

“Haahh, ahahhnn, mmmm,” Your wails seep out from your system right as the base of his cock kisses your lower region lips. And after a few seconds, he starts with a slow pace. Knowing that you can feel every dent and vein within you is insane to comprehend; the heat across your cheeks cranks up due to the euphoric sensations. “Ohhhh, my God, Tojiii. I’m so full…”

Toji pecks on your shoulder, “Yeah, sweet thing? I bet so. Just be a good girl and keep grippin’ on me like that, alright? Gonna start movin’ now…” His hips rut into your vagina, pulling his shaft slowly outward and rushing it back inward. Holy shit, it felt so dreamlike — having him actually move inside of you. But it was very much real; having his pelvis meeting the flesh of your ass was proof of such.

A hand snakes down to your clitoris, and a gasp leaves your lips at the brush of his thumb rubbing against it. Your legs tremble at the flick of his finger on your bud, and the pace of his thrusts crank up in speed, making it hard to concentrate on one thing. So many senses are being activated all at once; the shower water raining down on your back, the exhilarating combination of Toji’s dick grinding down on your insides, and the swipes and pinches on your precious clitoris. God, it was all too much. 

“Arch some more fr’ me, princess,” Toji gets up to push your back further down, the walls of your chasm clinging onto him as the more exposed opening gives room for you to be plowed. “Hnnmm, shit, feels so good…Hey, let’s try somethin’ different.”

By the time the last bit of his sentence could be registered, he already had you turned to face him, folding your arms around his neck. You didn’t know what for until he hoisted you up, and then you instinctively grabbed hold for dear life before your back hit the wall, your legs wrapped around him while he held you by the thighs. Toji brings his member back to your labia to insert it back inside, and you two moan at the contact again. Oh, this was different – never have you been lifted like this. And to be elevated by your gym crush, in this connotation, is enough to have you appalled.

But what made your breath hitch the most was Toji’s face being up close and personal. The bangs stuck to his forehead thanks to the shower water; his jet-black hair was wet and slicked. Trails flow down his face, drops of water plummeting from his nose and chin. And – oh, sweet Jesus – those green eyes of his, so striking as if they could pierce right through you. They were piercing through you. He took in your expression just as you were his, eyes filled with wanton desire, and it was all directed towards you – for you. He flashes a small smile, teeth peeking from beneath his scarred lips.

Oh, my God. You turn to the side to hide your face from his gaze; it definitely wasn’t the water that was making your cheeks and ears hot at that moment. But that didn’t fly with Toji. He sneaks into a rut that has you jump on his cock, the new position giving his dick an angle to hit your cervix. Because of that, the jab erupts a shriek you had no preparation for withholding. 

“Heh, aht, aht, don’t do that,” Oh, he knows he’s in control of this entire situation; you can hear it in his patronizing chortle. “Don’t hide that pretty face from me, doll,” he kisses your cheek and trails down to the crook of your neck. “Let me hear you—Aiishhh! Oh, fuuck…” 

Once Toji begins to jerk his hips to you, you dwell into a pleasure that you never knew existed. Toji’s length scrapes your inner walls like crazy, like a euphoric itch. The fact that you’re bouncing on the cock of your personal trainer is scary to comprehend. Having him see you like this, hearing you moan and wail for him, you never felt more exposed in your entire life. And also, him holding you like you weigh nothing and fucking you in the men’s locker room showers?! What the actual fuck!? This is actually so embarrassing – I could die! 

But why would you? The commotion between your legs feels way too good to bring this to a stop – you two are already joined in a union, so why stop? Every stroke to your slit sends a shiver up your spine, clamping onto him every time he brushes up on your sweet spots that make your nerves tingle. And the occasional jabs to your tender cervix? Damn, the stimulation was enough to have you faint with the heat growing tenfold.

“Mmmff, hoohhh, ohhhhh,” your cries are drowned out by the shower, only heard by Toji. Speaking of, this position gives you proximity to observe his expression. His eyebrows furrowed, eyes shut as if he’s in the zone. The huffs of breath he takes with every roll of his pelvis are so hot to the ear that you wouldn’t mind listening to them all day. Anytime the walls of your wetness clamp onto him, he moans and hushed curses at the feeling of you wanting him. He’s an attractive man, but, holy fuck, this was a sight you thought you’d never see in a million years. 

“—Khhhh! Hnmph, ahhhh,” Through the gruff pants, Toji opens his eyes half-lidded, catching you in the moment of staring right at him. You clench onto him; why does this man have to look so fucking sexy!? He smirks, “How we feelin’ now, baby?”

“Hahhh, I–I’m—Ohhh!! Fucking shiiiitt,” you cry out when he slams deep into you, making your toes curl, and your words come out in slurs. “It’s too muuchh, Tojiii, ughhh!! T–Tooo muuuuch…” 

“Ya gettin’ close?” Oh, yes, you were. You could feel it through the trembles climbing up your fibers. Your brows trench at the high, and Toji was mean enough to sneak a pinch to the clitoris without you noticing. Your legs tighten around his waist, and you shake your head hurriedly. He chuckles, releasing your clit from his rough fingers and putting his forehead to yours. “C’mon, angel, I won’t know what you want if ya don’t say it.”

Fuck, he’s such a meanie. You love it so fucking much. You mewl to him, “Pleaseee, Tojiii, I want it so bad!”

He lifts a brow. “Want what?” 

“—To cum!! Pleasepleaseee, I wanna cum on you, I want it—Ahaahhnn!!” Fuck, it’s coming. Almost there. 

That’s all he needed to hear, the grin on his face broadening at your response. “Cum on me, then. I’m right here to catch ya, princess.” His hand returns to your clitoris, pressing down on the delicate button to the point where all he can hear is your sweet screams of lust. His thrusts now get erratically fast, having you rebound to the hilt of his length, the smacks of skin slapping against each other fill the confined space of the shower. And the climb of your aroused high increases until it comes crashing down; you let out one last howl as the electric shocks course through your body, and your release is freed. Your walls squeeze hard onto Toji as you indulge in your climax; him pistoning his cock to your sensitive labia adds to the chilling sensitivity. Your cunt flutters around his cock while you experience your crescendo, your eyes screwed shut to enhance the experience, not aware of Toji watching you ride out your orgasm on him. 

The trembles calm down, the shocks subside, and your breathing descends into a steady rhythm. Throwing your head back, you rest your back against the wall while still in Toji’s hold, using this time to indulge yourself in this moment of clarity. 

Toji lets out a tiny laugh, bringing his face to your neck to suck on it. “That felt good, sweet thing?” You sigh out of breath, nodding to his question. “Hmmm, good. But ya know I’m not done, right?” Your blood ran cold, your body rigid still. Wait, huh? “I let you have your fun, so be a good girl, and lemme have mine.” 

The involuntary twitch of your slit should give you a clue as to how the news hit you, and you can't tell if it'll be him or the shower that will have you melting like a puddle by the time this is over...

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Haibara walks out to the front desk, where Ino hurriedly stuffs his phone back into his pocket, away from his superior’s eyes. Fortunately for the younger man, the older one didn’t see his device. “Hey, Ino, I got a question.”

“Yeah, what’s up?” The associate fidgets with his brown hair under his rolled-up ski mask.

“Have you seen Mr. Fushiguro and Y/n today? Toji told me he couldn’t make it for Monday night, but I haven’t seen Y/n that day or Wednesday.” The older brunette looks around to find any resembling cues, but his eyes see nothing that sparks familiarity. 

Ino blinks before answering. “No. And now that you mention it, I haven’t seen or heard from them since last week…”

Haibara leans on the desk and sighs. “Hope Y/n’s doing all right. Usually, they’d call or shoot a text telling me they couldn’t make it for their appointments with Fushiguro. But this is twice where neither of them show up.” 

“Hmm, can’t say I have an idea.” The other shrugs at his superior’s concerns. “I didn’t get a call or text from Y/n either, so maybe I’ll give ‘em one after my shift. Heh. Let’s hope they didn’t replace us with another gym.” 

With trenched brows, Haibara took offense to the younger brunette’s words. “Cut that out, man! I’d be pretty upset if they just suddenly stopped showing up here. Half a year of coming in and out and getting to know each other, only for them to just vanish like that…At the very least, they could give a call!” He passionately bangs on the front desk, giving Ino a startle.

RING-RING-RING!! RING-RING-RING!! 

The two froze at the sudden ring of the desk phone as if Haibara’s fist magically granted them a call. And by the exchanged glances they shared before Ino picked up the phone, they better hope it wasn’t the call they were expecting. “Hello, this is Golden Gate Gym. My name is Takuma Ino; what can I do for you?” 

“Hey, is that you, Ino?”

“Hey, Y/n!” Ino turns to Haibara, whose eyes share the same perplexity as his. “It’s good to hear from you; where’ve you been? You’ve been MIA for almost a week.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I had a little accident and sprained my ankle; I couldn’t come to the gym on Monday and Wednesday.”

“Oh, shit, for real?” Haibara watched the younger man’s tone change to concern, which didn’t help his nerves either. “Sorry to hear about that, but it’s a good call not coming here and taking care of yourself.”

“Yeah, thanks. Is Haibara there with you by any chance?”

“Uh, yeah. He’s right next to me, actually.” Ino takes the initiative to give the darker brunette the phone to speak with the one on the other side of the line. Haibara outstretches his arm to take the phone and put the receiving end to his ear. “Yo, Y/n!”

“Hey, Haihai. I meant to call you Wednesday, but I’m letting you know that Mr. Fushiguro and I are still doing our weekly appointments.”

Haibara sighs in relief internally, giving Ino a thumbs up. “Oh, thank God! You two had me worried there for a second. We didn’t see you guys here and thought you’d be a no-show again.”

“Yeah, sorry for the scare. Mr. Fushiguro found out about it and decided it would be….Haahhh….best for me to do my regimine at my apartment instead…”

“Well, that’s nice of him to look out for you with your ankle. I’m sure he’s doing what he can to—“

“Ahaahhnn!!”

A sudden yelp pops into the call out of nowhere and completely takes Haibara aback from the phone as if it was so out of place for the topic that was taking place. Ino notices it when the darker brunette gives him a brief perplexed look, which the younger shrugs at. “Uhh, Y/n? You busy right now?”

Oh, you were busy, all right. You’re at your apartment right now. Your ankle? Absolutely fine, nothing wrong about it in the slightest. The only change, however, is not being at the gym for this entire week and staying home instead. Why?

How about asking your personal trainer who has you propped upside down, standing up with his hands holding you by your ass, stuffing his face to your exposed cunt which he licks and sucks on. The feeling of his tongue digging through your labia has your hips jerking, but his strong arms exhibit unmoving effort in keeping your wetness in his mouth. His pants down to his knees, and his erect length in your hand and brushing your cheek. This is most definitely not the at-home exercise that Haibara is thinking of.

“…Hello?…Y/n, you there?”

Oh, shit! “Y–Yeah, I’m here! Sorry, my ankle is acting up on me—Ohhhh…Fushiguro’s looking at it for me…” Oh, please, he’s not checking shit; fucker indulging himself between your asscheecks, ravishing your folds like a sweet fruit to his tastebuds.

“Oh! So you two are exercising together right now?” Toji nibbles on your vagina and grazes with his teeth, having you gasp and twitch. His tongue surprising your clit prompts a choked whine. “That’s good to know then! Alright then, see you guys when you’re ready to return to the gym. And tell Toji not to put too much on you, ya hear?”

“—Khhhh, mhmm…I’ll give him an earful for you. See you later, Haibara…”

“Great, see ya. Happy Friday!” 

And with that farewell, you can finally toss the phone down and coo to your heart’s content, biting your lips at Toji stuffing his mouth on your bare chasm; his muffled groans vibrate your lower half like crazy. “Ohhooo!! Ohhhfuckkk, I’m gonna cumm,” your words slur with a suck to your clitoris, your hips bucking involuntarily. “Lemme cum, Tojiiii, I wanna—Ahaaaa!!”

He removes his face from your ass with an exhale as if he was dying for breath. But based on the grin plastered on his face, he wouldn’t mind being in this position for a little while. “Oh, I don’t think so, doll. I don’t think ya deserve to cum in my mouth.”

That was the last thing you wanted to hear right now. “Ahahnn!! You’re such an asshole, Toji…”

He chuckles crudely. “That’s where I’m gonna play with next if you don’t stuff my dick in that pretty mouth of y’rs already. Suck me good; then maybe I’ll let the princess cum all over me.”

Broad strokes from his pelvis rub his dick on your cheek, a reminder of your part of this endeavor that you must partake in. The smell of him overwhelms your nostrils into a pornographic trance, your head pounding just from looking at it. You gulp and take the tip into your mouth, sucking and licking the precum off while your hands glide up and down his shaft. “Good girl, good girl…” Toji goes back to smacking his lips on your folds, moving his tongue in whirlpool motions that have you moaning on his cock. God, it feels so good, so fucking good. You can see yourself becoming addicted to this, and that’s a bit scary seeing this professional relationship drift to something more touchy and personal…

…But then again, there’s nothing wrong with that, right?

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ header art by achumuchi + dividers by @/cafekitsune & @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more.

[gghostwriter]

Hey, how you doing? So I was wondering if you could write a one-shot where Y/N visits Spencer in prison and just like how when JJ visited him, Spencer doesn’t like the way the inmates are looking at Y/N, and when he gets back to his cell or when he is in the prison yard, he hears inmates talking about Y/N and gets protective. Saying stuff like “don’t talk about her like that, you don’t get to talk about her” or something similar.

I am unsure if there is a fanfic like this so just in case, I am asking ☺️

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Trope: Established Relationship; Protective!Spencer Word Count: 0.8k A/N: apologies that this took a while. I was feeling very hyper-critical and unsatisfied with anything I wrote so this collected dust in my drafts a bit—still do feel it if I’m being honest but I felt the motivation to revisit my rough draft and make some changes before posting. I hope you like it! Main masterlist

His. // Spencer Reid

Spencer hasn’t felt himself ever since his capture. If he was being honest, his descend to rock bottom started even before then but that wasn’t the point. No, the point was the accumulation of his lack of sleep in his single cell—only an hour at most, the constant alertness from keeping his identity as a fed hidden—his fashioned shiv always an inch away from reach, and the group shared meals—never knowing what other contaminants it has, all made him feel one step away from snapping. He was teetering on the edge of lashing out and like the unsubs that he used to profile in black and white typing, he only needed one stressor before all hell broke loose.

And that stressor was you. 

Visitation hours were always bittersweet. It soothed his soul to see your expressive eyes and beautiful face but dread always came after, knowing the minutes were counting down before you and him had to separate. He had always hated the idea of separation, hated not seeing you wholly and safe.

During the past cases, the bodies of each victim somehow always reminded him of you and here, locked in the confines with other criminals, made his hyper-vigilance of protecting you increase by a hundred. 

“Love, you don’t have to come visit me,” he suggested as the jeers from the other inmates about your looks echoed on the walls. Each whistle and vulgar mention of how your looks get their gears revving was a chip in his knightly armor and although he could see you trying to pay it no attention, it soothe no pain that he was the reason why you were exposed to all this sexualization.

“It’s fine, Spence. I can handle it as long as I get to see you,” you defended. “I miss you.” 

“I miss you too,” the corners of his mouth lifting to a small smile. Four simple words that didn’t fully express the ache echoing in his chest. He could read in several languages but none of them could fully explain the loss that reverberates in him when it’s time to part ways.

You picked on the loose threading of his cardigan adorning your body. “I’ve been visiting your mom. She asks about you a lot. How you’re doing, how you’re being treated and uh—” your lips quivered from emotion “—she misses you too.” 

“Thank you for seeing her. Can you tell her I’m doing fine? I don’t want her to worry too much about me,” he uttered a lie. He wasn’t doing great and you could see that but having been together for so long, you understood the reasoning behind the fib without needing any explanation.

I’d like to get a piece of that, huh. Another crude sentence about you reached his ears causing him to snap his neck to the side and clench his jaw. With all of his vast intellect, Spencer never did understand the psychology behind men catcalling as a form of flirtation and expecting the recipient to react positively. But then again, men who perpetuate this behavior were more of animals in his eyes. Plebeian in thought and unappealing in form.

Maybe there was something in the stale air of prison that made him his hackles rise or maybe it was just his biological imperative to protect what was his. Either reason, he felt himself snap the next day during yard hour when a duo of inmates sat beside him to slobber about your beauty and body.

“Hey Twig, was that your girl the other day? That pretty young thing?” The one with the neck tattoo taunted. “Tell me, does she taste as sweet as she looks?” 

His bald headed partner sneered. “Man, I don’t think he can get her off, probably doesn’t even know how she sounds like in bed. With how skinny he is, bet he’s also pencil—”

“Have some respect. You don’t get to talk about her like that.” Spencer snarled out. He felt like an animal about to escape from his cage—gone was the logical ex-FBI agent and all that remained was a convicted, highly intelligent felon no longer afraid of committing a crime. Additional blood coating his shackled hands was nothing if done in your name.

They both snickered. “And what you going to do about it, huh?” 

He ground his teeth, saying nothing. Spencer knew the statistics of him winning in a fight specially 2 vs 1 was slim to none so he catalogued their faces and numbers in his vast mind and bid his time like a snake lying in the wait for his prey to settle in faux comfort.

“Thought so. C’mon man,” the one with the neck tattoo patted his back and started to stand with his partner. “I’lll see your girl in my fantasies tonight, Twig.” 

But before they were out of earshot, he turned and called back a warning—his last mercy before the execution. “You’re going to regret it.” 

They both hooted in laughter, unaware that Spencer makes good on his promises—threats really, anything to protect his girl.

And when he poisoned a group of inmates who were smuggling drugs inside the jail, he made sure that all those men who jeered sexual innuendos at you, counting in the two who confronted him in the yard, were included. His methods cold, detached, and impersonal—something he learned from the killers he had spent half of his life profiling.

There were whispers, of course, who caused the contamination. He wasn’t deaf. He knew it was what labelled him as a danger and almost untouchable in prison. An emerging alpha in this testosterone filled animal kingdom. The same status that extend to you, his chosen queen.

And so during your next visit when no cat calls reached your ears, you innocently asked about it and he just shrugged like it was no big deal. He didn’t want to taint your mirage of him any more than his stint in prison had done. You were his to protect, his to care for, and his to love.

To put it simply, you were his.

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[dollfacefantasy]

ADD TO THE COLLECTION ♡

pairing: rick grimes x fem!reader

summary: rick finds an old halloween mask out on a supply run. he brings it back to you, and the two of you put it to good use

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, mask kink, praise/degradation, cnc sorta

a/n: yes i wrote another ghostface mask kink fic. idc idc. you can pry that idea from my cold dead hands. every single man i simp for will have one if it's the last thing i do <3

kinktober slot: day 4 - mask kink

"Ew. You know that thing probably has like a billion diseases, right?" you say, a wide smile spreading across your face as you look at the raggedy Halloween mask in your boyfriend's hand.

The slender, pale face stares back at you with its motionless expression of horror. You hadn't seen one of them in a long time. Certainly not since the world went to shit.

"A billion? I don't know about that. Maybe a million," he teases.

Rick enters the room and approaches where you sit on the bed, wanting to show off his find from the supply run a bit more.

"Don't bring it too close to me. I don't wanna catch something," you say with a hand raised in defense.

"So dramatic," he mocks, "I'm not gonna put it on you."

The wooden floor creaks below his boots as he steps to the edge of the mattress. He sits down, the foamy surface dipping with the addition of his weight.

You can't help leaning forward a little bit out of curiosity. Scooting closer to his side, you look between his face and the mask.

"Were you guys raiding a Spirit Halloween or something?" you ask, resting your chin on his shoulder.

He chuckles. His hands rotate the mask between them. It actually isn't in horrible condition. Maybe a little dusty, but there aren't any huge stains or tears. Visions of him wearing it rise to the front of your mind. You could imagine his head turning, the hollow black eyes following you as he watched your figure move about. The thin fabric fanning out over his shoulders also comes up. Your favorite though is the thought of how it would look above you while he thrusts in and out of you.

Shaking those images out of your head, you refocus when he answers your question.

"No, nothin' like that. I just saw it and thought of you," he tells you, turning his head and pecking your cheek, "I remembered you tellin' me how you used to love those movies."

You almost visibly swoon. "That's so sweet. Slasher movies make you think of me," you coo, "How did I get so lucky?"

Your arms slide up and drape around his neck, bringing you closer so you can nuzzle the side of his face. His skin scratches at you a little bit. The prickle of stubble was rising again.

He returns your affection and pushes the mask aside in favor of pulling you into his lap. The two of you melt into each other and then back onto the bed. One of the perks of living in Alexandria now was not having to wait until everyone fell asleep for the night to go at it.

Rick could be so soft for you. Ever since the two of you met, he seemed so naturally protective. He always lets you hold his hand. Your safety was his top priority along with that of his kids. Before the world went bad, you'd bet he was the kind of guy to hold the door open on dates and call women "miss" or "ma'am."

You're pretty sure that's why you want to see him in that mask so bad.

You knew Rick had another side to him. Something beneath the mask of being the good guy. You'd seen it before a few times. The nights where he ended up soaked in someone else's blood, the sticky crimson liquid coating his facial hair, staining his clothes.

A week after he first found that mask, he comes to your room at night wearing one of the pieces of clothing that's been marred with someone else's insides.

The mask over his face has been cleaned. He clearly washed away the dust and any other sign of mileage on the thing. The ivory plastic front shines without a spot of grime while the black fabric draped atop his hair sits there, dark as the night sky outside.

It's a sharp contrast to the white t-shirt he has on. The cloth pours down his neck and over his shoulder onto the light garment. But the abdomen of this top isn't as pristine as the collar. Blood speckles across the snowy threading, the pattern spatters in a way that makes it look like one of those ink blot tests. If you were the one being questioned, you'd say it looks sort of like a tree.

He stands there against the frame of the doorway in silence, waiting to be noticed. You had been cleaning your boots. When you finally finish, you rise from your spot on the edge of the bed and tuck them in their normal spot against the wall. Sighing, you lean back and prepare to finally have nothing left on your to-do list.

But you feel the other presence in the room. You catch him in your peripheral vision, and a gasp tears through you. Your heart springs from a calm resting beat to erratic thrashing against your ribcage. Thoughts melt from your head while breaths grow spikes in your lungs.

Once you turn your head fully and give your brain a second to register that it's only him, you start to calm down. You let out a deep sigh and put your hand across your chest.

"God, don't do that," you huff, "You scared me."

He doesn't respond.

You continue to catch your breath before looking over at him again. Your eyes scan up and down his figure. He leans against the wall so casually. His arms cross over his chest while his ankles hook one on top of the other below. Even though you can't see his gaze, you can feel the intensity of his pupils on you.

"You're lucky I didn't have my gun on me," you tell him and narrow your eyes.

Again, you get no words out of him. But this time he does push off the edge of the entryway and step forward. He swings the door shut behind him and continues to stare you down.

It's weird. Having him just stand there, digs a pit in the bottom of your belly. For a split second, your mind floats the possibility that this isn't him. The paranoid sector of your head poses questions like what if this was someone else who just found the mask? What if they just looked like Rick?

But then his arms drop from his chest and you see the silver of his watch glimmer in the pale moonlight. 

It doesn't kill the tingling in your nerves any; rather, it transforms the sensation. It's a different kind of strange seeing Rick act like this. It wasn't the version of him that came out for a true threat.  He was never so silent when that was the case. In moments of desperation, he became feral - eyes darting around, limbs taut with the preparedness to strike. But that's when you realize this isn't a moment of desperation. He's the one in control. He's the threat in this situation.

"You're not even gonna try to run, little girl?" he asks, his voice coming out in that familiar drawl but with a little edge to it.

Your spine lights up like a fuse. Excitement seeps into your bones. Everything feels jittery. You don't know what to do or say. In this moment, you just want.

"You're in the way. I don't have anywhere to run," you say. Your voice waivers almost as if you naturally fall into the role of the helpless victim.

It's weird hearing yourself like that. In the world you lived in, you never wanted to sound like that. Showing weakness meant death. And hearing it from someone you loved meant their time was coming to end. Being able to express it now though, it felt different. You weren't sure how to articulate it, but that could be due to the fact that you'd never been so turned on before in your life.

He approaches you further. The wooden floor boards creak beneath his slow steps. You try to back up but your knees hit the mattress.

"No runnin'? You're gonna make this too easy for me," he chuckles, "Put up a little fight."

Your teeth dig into your bottom lip. He leans in closer to you, reaching up to drag his fingers down your cheek. You try to lean back but end up having to sit on the bed and scoot away on the mattress to create some distance.

He just laughs and grabs your ankle, preventing you from getting too far. You try wriggling your leg a little bit, but he tightens his grip and grabs the other one.

"Tsk, tsk. Pathetic," he taunts, "You're just gonna let me take what I want?"

You try kicking a little harder, but it's of no use. Each jerk of your leg goes to waste. Nothing changes. There would be no difference if you didn't move at all and just made what he said true.

"So cute," he mocks, "Just tirin' yourself out for me."

"It's not fair," you whine. You roll yourself onto your belly and try to drag yourself away by grabbing the edge of the bed. He doesn't let you though. Even though Rick was lean, he didn't lack strength. That coupled with his training as a pre-apocalypse police officer meant he knew how to restrain people. You whimper and buck your hips to try and create some momentum to get away, but it's all of no use.

"You cheated. You didn't give me a chance to run," you continue to pout before repeating your prior sentiment, "Not fair."

He laughs and whips you around onto your back again. This time he leans forward and tugs your hips harshly, dragging you over the collection of blankets so that your ass is flush against his semi-hard bulge.

"Who said I have to play fair, princess?" he asks, "Weak little thing like you wouldn't have made it far anyways."

Another whine bubbles from your lips as you squirm. He looms over you, keeping you accessible to him with the weight of his body. As he closes in, your breathing becomes heavier. The white ghostface stops inches away from the tip of your nose. You stare into the expressionless eyes of the match while your cunt throbs against the heat of his pelvis.

"You're lucky I caught you here. Spares you the embarrassment of getting dragged back, kicking and screaming. Or even worse, me pounding you into the grass out there where anyone could see," he breathes.

You shudder at the images his words create in your head.

He can feel the tremble of your limbs, and he pushes the mask up slightly to bare his lips. For a second, you think he's going in for a kiss. And in a way, that's true. But it's not on your mouth. Instead, he ducks down to your throat. He attacks it with fervor much more intense than what you usually felt from him.

These kisses are hot and open-mouthed. The tip of his tongue tickles your pulsing skin. His lips feather against it while his teeth nip and tug. All you can do is melt under it. You try to keep in character and put up a bit of resistance, but it's not a strong performance.

His fingers hook over the top of your little sleep shorts and panties and pull them down to your mid-thigh. That was all the room he needed. His hand not clutching one of your biceps slides down between your thighs. He can feel the slick on his fingers in seconds, and he huffs out a laugh.

"Oh, you're a bad girl, aren't you? The slightest bit of attention, and you're dripping. I didn't even have to do anything," he says.

After those words hit your ears, he pulls back. He tugs your shorts all the way off to free your legs before he shoves his jeans down far enough that his length can spring free. He's almost fully hard. The sight of your slippery cunt makes it easier to take it from almost to solid.

He strokes it and watches you. It's obvious how ready you are, but he can't help but want to draw it out a little more.

"Take off your top," he commands.

Your breath hitches, and you swear you feel your heart stutter. Of course, he'd seen you naked before, but it felt new here. This wasn't Rick's cool blue eyes gazing down at you with love. It was the dark, empty patches of painted plastic.

Nevertheless, your hands venture down and peel your shirt from your body. Once it's gone, your tits are left exposed to his view. He doesn't touch them, and you can't see if he stares directly at them, but it feels like he does.

He pumps his cock a little faster. A small groan rumbles from his mouth.

"I don't even have to say it twice. You didn't even need to see my face to listen. I either have you so well-trained, or you're just the most natural slut out there, babydoll. Just waiting for orders to follow like a little puppy," he rasps.

He pushes forward and slides his leaky tip against your folds. A small whine sneaks out of you at the pressure on your clit. The head nudges it before gliding down toward your entrance again where it pops in.

You both hiss at the feel. On his part, you're already so warm and tight. For you, it's the mild stretch combined with the satisfaction of having something inside you. Either way, it's just a taste of what's to come.

He sinks in more, guiding the rest of his shaft into your pussy. Whimpering, you arch your back off the bed the tiniest bit. His hand lands on your tummy and pushes you down again though. He forces you to take it all and then rocks his hips back and slams forward again.

"So sensitive," he teases.

His hands curl around your hips before he starts thrusting. Like the earlier kisses, his pelvis snaps against you with more force than usual. Your eyes roll back from the bouncing rhythm while your fingers clutch the linens beneath you.

"Poor baby. You never had any fight in you to begin with," he teases, "You give in so easily."

"It- it's not my fault," you whimper. More moans seep out of you. It feels like every slap of skin on skin knocks a new noise from you.

"Oh yes it is," he grunts, "You didn't even try because you want this. You just wanna be filled up. Don't even care who's doing it."

As he says that, your hazy eyes look up at the mask. "Do too..." you pout.

Your walls squeeze around him tight at the sight of the haunted face watching you. It bobs a little with his motions as well, shaken by the force of them.

He laughs at you from beneath the mask and speeds up a little. You clench around him in tandem with your toes curling. He leans in and bends you further in half on the mattress.

"Ok sure, sweetheart. That's why you didn't even need to see my face before I slid my dick inside you," he breathes.

Your little clit throbs at the words. As if he can sense it, one of his hands rises to thumb at the nub. Your hips buck in response, eager for more. Deep, whiny sighs flood into the air from you. He can't get enough.

"That's right, keep squeezin' me, darlin'" he says, arousal infecting his tone now too.

You nod like you have a real say. The way he was battering your pleasure spots and swiping at your clit had you tightening up involuntarily. He still moans with the feeling though. His head tilts back. You can hear his panting getting louder below that mask.

A few strokes later, he reaches up and yanks it off, dropping it to the floor next to his boot. His hair hangs damp against his forehead while his cheeks are a little flushed from the heat. None of this stops him from fucking into you though. It's as if he can't stop. The chase for release captures him on a deeper level.

Even without the help of ghostface, his stare is intense. His pupils glare into you as he provides you with more pleasure than you know what to do with.

"You think you're gonna cum for me? Gush all over my cock?" he croons mockingly.

You nod. Your arm weakly flies up so you can grab at his wrist. "Need it, Rick," you whine.

He chuckles, a small smirk teasing his lips. "You can have it then. Let it go for me," he says.

Your hips buck in time with the next handful of whimpers that leave your lips. The climb to the top feels so fucking good. Your core sizzles up until it reaches a fever pitch and you explode into white hot pleasure. A low, satisfied hum reverberates from you as your eyelashes dust your cheeks.

He fucks you through the feeling, one hand on your throat, the other down at your clit, swirling around the small nub a few times to give you the extra boost. It makes you nice and tight around his dick. Your walls squeeze like a vise. He has no choice but to let go.

As desperate as he is to fuck it deep inside of you, he stops himself at the last second and pulls out. He grabs his cock at light speed before that feeling can vanish and pumps it at the same rhythm he'd been thrusting into you.

Warm, milky ropes of cum shoot out onto your belly. The splatter across your skin, glimmering in the cool light of the night. You force your eyes open when you hear his deep moan. You're almost certain you've never seen anything as beautiful as Rick's face when he releases. His brows furrow while his jaw relaxes. He parts his lips in a small o. You watch with droopy eyes, the haze of lust still not totally gone yet.

When he's finished, he stares down at you in a similar fashion. His hand cups the back of your neck so he can bring you up to give you a kiss before he goes and grabs a towel. The bloody shirt he'd been wearing is gone when he returns. He cleans the spend off your belly and then crawls back into bed with you.

You snuggle up to him, ready to close your eyes and conk out. But then you think of something.

"I knew it was you before you took off the mask," you say. The flesh of your cheek smooshes against this chest.

He looks down at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Cause your watch," you say proudly, as if you'd discovered some great clue.

The information registers but then his lips break into a grin. "Hmm, smart girl. I'll have to keep that in mind if I ever put on the mask for something secretive," he teases before yawning and tugging you closer to his side.

"Mhm, cause I'd figure you out right away," you murmur.

"I'm sure," he agrees, pressing a few kisses to your head. "Get some sleep, baby."

[charliemwrites]

Part 4

Mister(s) Steal Your Girl is, somehow, now the official title. Congratulations you little shits (affectionate).

Content: Toxic Behavior, Brief Weight Shaming, Hurt/Comfort

You didn’t expect to see Johnny much after that one night - or possibly ever again. Kyle introduced you two, it was a lot of fun, but you figure that’ll be the end of it. Like introducing a new man to your girlfriends (not that you can really introduce Kyle to yours) you passed the vibe check and now Kyle will keep you and Johnny separate.

That’s how it’s been with Brandon’s friends. (Granted, you don’t really care for Brandon’s friends. And you figure it’s mutual based on the “uptight” comments they pretended to think you couldn’t hear.)

You’re starting to realize that Kyle is always going to subvert your expectations.

Johnny becomes a fixture - a welcome one. While you and Kyle still have your date nights and privacy, Johnny joins you two at least once a week for movies, drinks, dinner, or just silly adventures out and about.

You’re surprised that you don’t mind. Johnny is fantastic company, always respectful, funny, and friendly. Whenever the two of you are left alone, there’s no dead air. In fact, sometimes you could almost swear there’s electricity. Which is… well. It makes it hard to look him in the eye sometimes - and looking at Kyle even harder.

Guilt nips at your stomach until one of them distracts you with another story you’re 70% sure they shouldn’t tell you.

You and Johnny play a game with pub napkins, doodling something on one folded half, then passing it over for the other to scribble on the second half. The trick is not cheating and seeing the first half, then unfolding it to a complete (and usually silly) picture. Gaz always gets to name whatever monstrosity has been created.

You get a month of that good company. Then Kyle sighs at his phone one night.

“Shipping out again,” he explains when you glance at him.

“Will you be gone long?” you ask, shifting.

His brow furrows. “Not sure. They can’t tell us much over the phone.”

You hum in understanding. Still new to this whole military thing, the redacted danger of it all, but you think you’re getting the hang of it. At least, Kyle never seems annoyed when he can’t answer you, only apologetic.

“Is it gonna be the whole team?” you ask.

“Nah, just me and the cap.” He rubs his palm along your calf, a gesture that you suspect is self-soothing rather than for your benefit. “Probably not too dangerous, then.”

You make a noise of protest, nudging at his thigh with your foot. “Bad luck!”

“Sorry, sorry!” he chuckles, tapping his knuckles on the wooden end table. “You’re right.”

You crawl from your side of the couch to his, nuzzling up under his arm. He trails kisses along the side of your face as you snuggle in.

“I’ll miss you,” you mumble into his neck. Still a little embarrassed to be so needy, but you want him to feel appreciated.

“I’ll miss you too, chickadee. I’ll call if I can, yeah?”

You hum in agreement, squeezing an arm around his middle.

“While I’m gone, if you need anything - even some company - you ought to call Soap,” he adds.

The idea is tempting but… “I don’t want to bother him.”

“I promise you won’t,” he laughs. You don’t know what’s so funny, but hearing his voice rumble in his chest like this is always a treat.

“Maybe,” you allow.

“We’ll take it.” Before you can ask what that means, he loops an arm around your waist and scoops you into his lap. “Now then, about my send off.”

Your giggle turns into a moan as his mouth slants over yours.

Kyle’s only been gone three days. You’ve occupied yourself with cleaning up the flat you share with Brandon. Dust has been collecting since you’ve been out and about so much - and god knows Brandon hardly does more than load the dishwasher. Besides, a good bit of spring cleaning is a pleasant enough distraction, humming as you toss out old things to make more room for the new stuff you’ve been collecting.

“Good to see you getting back to normal,” Brandon says cheerfully. You glance up from the laundry you’re folding. He continues, “I was worried with how behind you got on things, but I knew you just needed some time. I told you this would be better for us both.”

You try not to let that sting. Even if things are better now, and continuing to get better, you can’t forget the pain that lingers from the beginning.

“Tell you what,” he adds, hands in his pockets. “When you finish cleaning up, I’ll take you out to the pub, yeah? Put on something pretty.”

You perk up, pleasantly surprised, though hesitant.

“We could leave earlier if you helped,” you point out, hoping for more than just dinner. “Maybe we could walk in the park or something before eating.”

He gives you a weak smile. One you recognize more than his real one by now. It’s almost apologetic, but not quite.

“I would but I’m bloody exhausted from this week, ya know? Big projects coming up at work.”

Your smile freezes. “And some late nights, I’m sure,” you try to joke.

He doesn’t laugh like you expect, but gives you an odd look. “Why would you say something like that?”

Baffled, you shrug. He shakes his head.

“I’m going to take a nap, come wake me up when you’re ready to go.”

You manage to finish the majority of your to-do list by 5. Shower, get dressed, do your hair and makeup with Brandon snoring in the background until 6. By then, he still hasn’t woken up from his nap, so you perch on the edge of the bed and gently nudge at him until he stirs.

“I’m ready to go, babe,” you murmur.

He scrunches up his face - you spare an affectionate thought for how cute it is. You’ve always found it cute.

“Five more minutes,” he grumbles.

You laugh a little. “It’s getting late, we should probably head out.”

He groans. “Five. Minutes.”

You huff in amusement and reach for his phone to set an alarm, but pause at all the notifications from dating apps crowding his screen. There are… a lot. And as you’re looking, a new message pops up, just labeled “blonde” with a peach emoji. Gross.

You set the alarm and slip away to the living room.

It takes him another half hour to finally rouse, shuffling into the living room with a groan.

“C’mon,” he yawns. “It’s going to be bloody crowded by now.”

You follow him quietly to the car, knowing he’s not chatty when he’s just woken up. Hunger only adds to his mood; you can practically see a cloud forming over his head. By the time he pulls up to the pub, he’s downright grumpy. He grumbles about shit parking, and the milling people outside. It looks busy.

“We could go somewhere else?” you suggest.

“This is fine,” he says.

He parks a block away and starts at a swift pace. You try to hold his hand, but halfway there, he pulls away to check his phone and doesn’t take it again.

Surprisingly, it’s only a twenty minute wait for a table - but Brandon sneers something like “of course it is” under his breath. You smile apologetically at the hostess and usher him away.

He doesn’t talk during the wait, at first. Until suddenly he blurts. “We wouldn’t have to wait if you’d woken me up.”

You blink at him. “I did. You asked for five more minutes.”

“Well, why didn’t you wake me up then?”

“I set an alarm?”

You don’t know why he’s so irritated, just that he seems tired and hungry.

“You know I don’t listen to alarms,” he complains, scowling at the sidewalk.

“Okay… I’ll wake you up next time,” you offer.

“Yeah, next time.”

Thankfully, the two of you are called a little early. The pub is indeed loud and crowded, and you’re definitely overdressed. But at least you know what you want - Brandon’s taken you here a million times before.

Wisely, you wait until he’s downed the texmex rolls before trying for conversation again. He hums along as you talk about work, about the books you’ve been reading, about the new movie you saw last week. You think it’s going pretty well, catching up on each other’s lives, when he interrupts you mid-sentence.

“Where was this?”

You frown. “At the grocery store…?”

“You’re still on that? Thought we moved on from that story.”

You don’t bother finishing it, just ask him about his work. It’s like pulling teeth. A lot of “good” and “busy” and “same as usual.” By the time your entree comes, you’ve given up, not sure if you want to cry or just walk away to see if he even notices. He keeps checking his phone. Your fingers twitch to text Kyle, but you don’t want to bother him while he’s working.

The end of dinner can’t come sooner. You decline dessert when the server asks.

“Probably for the better,” Brandon tells you lowly when they’re gone to get the check. “I think you’ve put on a bit of weight. You know how you get.”

You probably have - Kyle has a sweet tooth and practically begs you to split desserts with him. Johnny’s shares his food with you now too, grinning when you express approval for whatever high-protein dish he’s picked and shoving more at you.

As for “how you get”… Brandon’s mentioned in the past when you were heavier that you get mopey, aren’t much fun to be around.

(A small part of you wonders how that would even effect him at this point. He doesn’t spend enough time around you to notice if you’re mopey. Is that why tonight has been such a disaster…?)

You just collect your purse and lead the way out of the pub. It’s a quiet walk back to the car, even though Brandon seems to be in a better mood. He’s still texting, nearly bumps into an elderly couple along the way.

Back at the apartment, he runs his hand down your side, tugs at the lace hem of your shirt.

“Careful,” you chide.

He sucks his teeth and drops his hand. “I’m just trying to be playful.”

“I know, but I like this shirt.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’ve got three just like it.”

You don’t answer, know it’ll lead to more useless bickering. Just tug the stupid thing over your head, ready to go to bed.

“Hey now, that’s more like it,” he drawls, fingertips running down your spine.

You jump, surprised, but play it off that his hands are cold. He makes some crass comment about warming them up, reaching for your breasts, and your stomach churns.

“I-I think I ate something bad,” you lie, all but sprinting for the bathroom.

You close the door behind you - but don’t lock it. Just sit on the floor, the wall cold against your back, while you try to breathe through your spinning, conflicting thoughts.

He’s finally giving you attention, affection. Why aren’t you jumping at this opportunity to spend time with him? Not long ago, you would have been weeping with joy to have an iota of your normal relationship back. Maybe you really did eat something bad.

“Hey,” Brandon calls through the door, “I’m gonna stay somewhere else tonight.”

You stare at the blank white wood, aghast. “But I’m sick.”

“It’s not like I can do much, is there? Except listen to you be sick all night,” he reasons. “And who knows. Maybe it wasn’t something you ate. Maybe it’s contagious. I don’t want to spend the weekend ill.”

Your eyes burn. He didn’t even open the door to check. “Yeah,” you agree, voice robotic, “you’re right.”

Not even five minutes later, you hear the front door close. That almost, almost does you in. You manage to keep your lackluster dinner down, but not the tears.

You let yourself be pathetic for a few minutes, crying into your arms, folded over your knees. When you finally manage to get yourself together, it’s not Brandon you ache for. It’s Kyle. It’s not possible, you know. You just don’t want to be alone even though the nausea is dissipating.

Sighing, you remove your ruined makeup and wash your face, climb into one of Kyle’s jumpers. At least it still smells like him. It’s only as you’re trying to decide on a comfort show, huddled into a ball on the couch, that you remember his advice.

It takes all of fifteen seconds of debate before you scramble for your phone.

I know it’s late, but are you free, you text Johnny.

A response comes almost immediately.

Always for you, lass. You bite your lip on a tiny smile, already feeling better. Your phone buzzes again. What’s up?

Your thumbs hover over the keyboard for a moment as you figure out what to ask - then how to ask it.

Would you want to come to mine for movies? I don’t feel good…

He answers instantly again. Ice cream not-good or Theraflu not-good?

You sniffle when you remember that being sick was a dealbreaker for your night with Brandon.

Ice cream not-good, you reply.

Say no more, hen. Be there in fifteen. Pick a good one.

You watch TikTok’s until there’s a knock at the door. Upon answering, you’re swept up in a bear hug that lifts you off your socked feet.

“Johnny!” you cry, laughing a bit in shock.

“There she is!” he crows, swinging you around. “Been missin’ my best girl!”

You tell yourself the thrill in your stomach is just from him setting you down. (It’s a harder sell when it happens again seeing his wide smile and warm blue eyes.)

“You're ridiculous,” you huff, “I’m not your best girl.”

He arches his eyebrows. “Oh, yer keepin’ track, are ye?”

“C’mon, you must have a partner or something?” you prod as you usher him inside.

“Kyle must’ve told ye, hen, it’s hard in this line of work,” he explains, shrugging. “Tried before but… usually they just end up feeling neglected, ya ken.”

You hum. That’s why Kyle said you and he would work so well with the open relationship - that you’d still have someone at home while he was out. That you wouldn’t be alone if something happened to him.

“Anyway, this is no kinda talk for a cozy night in, now is it?” Johnny says, cutting your melancholy musing short. “Come look at what I brought ya!”

You only notice then the two grocery bags in one hand. He herds you to the couch and sets them on the coffee table for you to root through.

“My favorite!” You exclaim when you extract the tub of ice cream.

The grin Johnny shoots you is proud. “Kyle said so.”

“You two,” you sigh happily.

He’s also brought a squishy stuffed animal, crisps, popcorn, soda, candy, and a small collection of self-care items. You hold the face-masks up with a questioning smile.

“Heard somewhere that it’s good for ye, when yer feelin’ down.” You try not to giggle when the last word comes out sounding like “doon.” He continues, blissfully ignorant. “Hope that’s the right shite, there was a lot to choose from.”

You throw your arms around him, chest warm. “Thank you, this is perfect, Johnny.”

He circles his arm around your waist, holding you close. “Anytime, bonnie,” he murmurs into your hair.

You squeeze his shoulders as you pull away, waving one of the mask packets with a wicked little smile.

“Wanna try this ‘shite’ with me?” you tease.

You expect a resounding and masculine-heavy no. Instead, Johnny tilts his head consideringly for a moment, then shrugs.

“Eh, why the hell not?”

You wake up the next morning to a mess of candy wrappers, discarded moisturizers, and an empty carton of ice cream. And the smell of eggs. Cartoons are playing quietly on the telly. When you yawn and sit up, you’re greeted by a cheerful Johnny at the stove, wearing your pink apron.

“Mornin’, sunshine,” he calls.

You flush and smile back, glad that you called him. “Mornin’!”

First | Previous | Next

Masterlist

[ravenssunshine]

so since maggie said that no one remembers noah and this is backed up by no mention of him after his sacrifice, do you ever think about all the blank spots in the gangsey’s memory?

blue’s pretty sure she’s kissed someone other than gansey. she remembers the feeling of kissing someone and them not dropping dead. but she has no idea who it would’ve been. maybe it was adam, but that doesn’t seem right at all. she never wanted to kiss him.

gansey doesn’t know why there’s an empty bedroom at monmouth. it served as a guest room before and could do so again, but what’s the long-standing point of an empty bedroom? he wonders why he never tried to convince adam to stay there (with rent, of course). or maybe they could’ve separated the bathroom and the kitchen. or gansey could’ve pretended that he slept in his own room, though no one would’ve believed that. anything other than letting an empty bedroom collect dust.

truthfully, noah was so engrained in the hunt for glendower that i don’t see how any of them could ever fully remember it without remembering him. maybe one day they’ll all return to henrietta and find a living reminder of noah czerny. they’ll never understand why the name causes them so much grief. the feelings will never leave, but they’ll never remember him again

[heartyluv]

you characterize zayne SO well omg…. So you know how he doesn’t really engage in PDA because he knows he would get too into it and lose control? If you’re comfortable, might I request zayne who sees someone getting a little too friendly with you at an event or party, so he lets himself indulge in PDA just for a moment? and then he gets carried away 🫠🫠 I just love possessive zayne

Note: I sooo needed to get around to writing another possessive/jealous Zayne. Yk, I actually think people severelyyyy underestimate his freak LOLL. Anyways, this is one of the best compliments ever, so thank you so, so much, luvly. I hope I’ve done him justice in your eyes!

Creds to @/khaer, @/strangergraphics, & @/anitalenia for the dividers!

Rating: Explicit - !!Minors DO NOT Interact!!

Warning: Smut

Possessive!Zayne/Reader

Zayne was far from a stupid man. He knew what he signed up for when he made someone as beautiful as you his girlfriend. It’s why he has never tried to make you change. On the contrary, he is now a man who ensures that everyone knows who you belong with his presence alone. But, he has also become a man who doesn’t know how to receive a touch—whether it be on purpose or not—from you without wanting to fuck your brains out.

It’s the reason that PDA isn’t something he’s too keen on unless it’s a simple matter of holding your hand. But all of that will is being tested the longer he remains by your side for a party your office was throwing for one of your coworkers for his promotion.

When you asked your boyfriend if he didn’t mind accompanying you since he had a rare night off from the hospital, he didn’t hesitate to come along. In fact, Zayne appreciated businesses who celebrated their employees for things like this. He knew first hand how good it felt to be celebrated for his hard work, no matter how nonchalant he tried to be about it. No one would ever underestimate the feeling of being appreciated.

But when he found out that the person being promoted was the same man who has had a crush on you before you and Zayne even started dating, admittedly, Zayne couldn’t give a damn about how hard he worked. Your boyfriend has never been a grudge-holding or an over-the-top-jealous man, but right now? It was a different story when Dalton was around you.

You knew Dalton liked you after your first few months at the company, but you never acknowledged it and he never pursued anything, so nothing ever came from it. You weren’t naive. You knew about his feelings when he’d buy you coffee and no one else, when he’d offer to buy you lunch everyday, and when he would offer to complete paperwork that was meant for you. You knew his feelings were deep because who volunteers to do someone else’s paperwork? But you were thankful to whatever made him keep his mouth closed because the feeling wasn’t mutual and you hated having to turn anyone down.

Dalton—surprisingly—wasn’t weird, nor was he pushy. In fact, it was like he left the ball in your court, just waiting until you picked it up and passed it to him. It was collecting dust before Zayne told you how he felt, and now it was matted with it when you became a couple. Even if Dalton wasn’t too forward, the hints were still there and now that Zayne was seeing it with his own eyes, he couldn’t keep his hands off of you.

It started when you walked in and you greeted everyone while introducing Zayne. Dalton came up and Zayne watched how he shook everyone’s hand, but he hugged you. When you introduced him, Dalton grimaced like someone hit him in the gut, and that was a victory for your boyfriend whose arm refused to unravel from your waist. Funnily enough, what really ticked Zayne off? Dalton acting like he knew you.

He said a lot of the catered food was your favorite—it wasn’t. The music selection was inspired by your taste—you didn’t listen to any of the songs that played. And he wore a navy blue suit because it was your favorite color—not only was blue far from your favorite, navy would be at the bottom of the list of your preferred hues.

The fabric of your dress was being balled up in his fist the longer he held onto you. It was only an hour into this and if Zayne saw Dalton approach you one more time for something he could ask anyone else about, he’d show him how skilled of a surgeon he really was after he made it to where he needed one.

“Zayne, baby?” you asked with concern as you felt his grip tighten. The first time you asked him if he was okay, he assured you there wasn’t anything to worry your pretty little mind about. But you knew him and the with combination of his hands on your waist, your ass, and his lips on your neck, you knew something was up because he didn’t do that.

It never crossed your mind that Zayne was jealous because he wasn’t the man to show it. In your two years together, the most jealousy he’s ever shown was toward his shirt for getting to be on you more than he does—and even then, he was joking.

You turned to look at him fully, the gentle jazz music playing as everyone conversed with one another.

“Look at me,” you said softly. Zayne pulled his annoyed gaze from Dalton who only just left to finally talk with someone else, and it was record breaking how quickly it softened when those beautiful eyes found yours. He rested his hands on your waist, loving how you felt in them. But the moment was quickly crushed when Zayne heard footsteps, looking away from you to see Dalton was already making his way in your direction again.

“I can’t find my phone,” Zayne said abruptly. He needed you to himself and he needed you now. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“You just now noticed?”

He nodded, ignoring the weight of it in his pocket. “Is it alright if we check your office? I may have left it in your bag.”

Before you guys came into the very large conference room where everyone mainly remained, you and Zayne stopped in your office to drop your purse off so you wouldn’t lose it.

“Of course we can check, c’mon.” Zayne couldn’t help but watch how the fabric of your knee length ivory white dress did nothing to hide the generous curve and bounce of your ass when you began to walk.

But after you took his hand, you almost bumped into Dalton a few steps into your attempt to exit.

“Everything okay?” Dalton looked between you and Zayne. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving before dessert. We’ll be cutting the cake in about fifteen minutes.”

Zayne almost smacked the shit out of him.

“We’re good, Zayne just needs to see if his phone is in my office. We’ll be back,” you answer with a gentle smile.

The moment you stepped into the small room that smelled exactly like you, you went to your bag to look. But as you searched, you heard the door shut and the lock click.

With your purse in hand, you looked up at Zayne who was heading to you so fast that you couldn’t catch it before it fell to the floor when he slammed his lips onto yours.

Impatient and desperate, his hand had a firm grip on the back of your neck as his tongue licked your plush lips and into your mouth.

“I’ve never been someone to lose control,” he mumbles as he starts to trail kisses down your neck. “But I’ve seemed to learn a lot of things about myself since you’ve come into my life. And I’m still debating if they are things I should thank you for.”

You’re glad that it’s dark back here and that you closed your blinds before the day ended earlier today or else everyone would be seeing your man press your bodies so close together that you could feel the bulge forming in his slacks.

“Zayne,” you whine when his tongue leaves a wet trail down the side of your neck. “What are you talking about?”

He releases a breathy chuckle, continuing to pepper your skin with wet smooches.

“If I had to see Dalton say another word to you, my actions proceeding would have costed you your job.” Your hands grip his hair as he continues to nip at your flesh. “And I would be lying if I said that the desire to act on them isn’t still there.”

“Dalton is flirty, but harmless, babe. He knows that I’m—”

“Bend over the desk,” he cuts you off. The light from the moon shining through your floor to ceiling glass windows is all you have to see him, but it’s the only light you need to recognize the desire within him.

He watches how good you obey his command, listened to how your small heels thud against the carpeted floor as you arched your back when your chest lays against the cool wood.

“The fact that you excuse any of it leads me to believe that you enjoy making me feel like this, don’t you?” His large hand palms a hand full of your ass through your dress. “You like when I’m driven to touch you in public. Because you know somehow, someway, you’re going to be stuffed with my cock in only a matter of time.”

You shudder at his words, your pussy throbbing in your panties. “That’s not true,” you whisper. “I wasn’t trying—”

You gasp when you feel him flip your dress up, kick your feet apart to make space for him, and pull your panties to the side. The sound of his belt buckle echoing in the small space has you wishing you were stuffed already.

Behind you, Zayne pulls his half erect cock out of his pants, stroking himself as he watches your pussy lips quiver for him. He steps forward, running his tip between your slit, making you whimper.

“Keep talking,” he commands, never stopping his teasing. “I want to hear how far your lies are willing to go.”

You twitch every time the tip of his cock nudges ever so slightly against your aching clit. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel anything, I promise…You know you’re the only one for me.”

“Am I?” he coos, watching how his fat head catches your hole but never fully entering. “I suppose the feeling is shared amongst the both of us, my love. Why else would I be getting ready to fuck you stupid in your office with all your coworkers only a handful of steps away?”

“Please put it in, Zayne,” you cry. “I want your cock so bad…”

“I know you do.” He doesn’t say anything else, burying himself in your tight cunt as you scream, but you quickly cover your mouth as your walls flutter around him.

With his hands on your hips, he pounds vigorously into you and watches how his cock is covered with your slick, feels how easily your walls accommodate him. You grab at the edge of the desk, keeping your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from moaning his name.

“Every time you talk to him, I want you to remember whose cock you cry for,” he pants, bunching your dress in his fist to keep it out of his way. “I want you to feel how my cum sits in your panties and runs down your leg.”

“Yes,” you mewl lowly, your brain foggy with pleasure.

“I intend to make sure everyone, but especially him, knows what I did to you when we go back. And you’re so good that you’ll let me, won’t you?”

You nearly drool as he tip kisses a part in you so deep that you never knew was reachable until him. “Yes, yes, yes…”

“My pretty girl…” His black hair falls into his eyes, but the strands doesn’t obstruct his view enough to miss how well you take him. “Oh, you feel so good, so tight…” he praises, his pace quickening as the slapping of skin grows louder as his efforts double. “Cum with me so we can have some cake, hm? You deserve a sweet treat for letting me fuck you with everyone only an earshot away.”

You don’t need to be told again. His snug movement in your warm walls along with the forbidden act of being fucked in the same office people will be walking in and out of tomorrow, makes you clench even tighter around his thick cock. As you meet him thrust for thrust and his grip on your hips grows stronger, you finally fall over the edge and fall apart beneath him.

“Fuck, baby…That’s it, let me feel you,” Zayne says breathlessly as you feel his cock expand and pulse inside you while his cum floods your pussy. He leans down to help pull you up, still seated in you to the brim, and turns your head as his hand wraps around your jaw so that he can kiss you.

“If you keep squeezing me, we’re leaving,” he smiles against your lips.

Lazily you grin, your chest rising and falling in an effort to bring breath back into your used body. He lets you rest against the desk again, grabbing some tissue that you have and catches his cum in it before it can land on the carpet or stain either of your clothes. But he doesn’t touch your cunt, simply pulling your panties back over and you feel how his load sticks to the fabric and your sensitive lips.

When he fixes his clothes and helps you with yours, you walk back to the conference room and see that everyone is already eating cake. You took longer than fifteen minutes.

Zayne catches Dalton’s eye, smirking when his mouth is slightly ajar after he sees your knees wobble a little bit in your effort to make it seem like you weren’t just weeping for his dick a minute ago. Like his cum isn’t nestled between your puffy lips with each step you take.

That satisfaction fulfills Zayne as he feeds you cake, loving how your pretty lips wraps around the fork and how your tongue licks the frosting away after each bite. All the while, he wonders if Dalton is imagining how pretty you look when you’re being fucked. He knows that he wishes it was him. Fortunately for your boyfriend, he’s the only man that’ll ever have the privilege.

A/N: Omg, I think I got carried away LOLLL.

[dilf-docs]

Saturday But in Your Sunday Best

bfd!joel miller x younger fem!reader

summary: joel has a co-worker's wedding in las vegas. everything that can go wrong, does.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., creampie, oral (f. and m. receiving), breast play, fingering, dacryphilia, degradation kink, ANGST (as in i've suffered so will my characters. this wasn't at all what i had envisioned at first for this part), hurt/comfort, a bit of fluff (that's new), pls be nice this writer's block shot me in the foot

word count: 11,121 words

side note: sorry this took so long. between movie watching for the oscars, my other works, midterms, pedro pascal horny hours, my wattpad fic, the max fic you citizens let flop (ĉüřşę ÿoụ āĺļ), the brat taming fic that made numbers among my oomfs on twitter, a very shitty date (the situational irony of letting a man ruin my women's day) a ptwt fic gc in twitter (love u frens), and uni again, i let the ttdik series collect dust, my bad. as compensation, take this girthy chapter altho it makes me kinda insecure IDK. this is why i don't do series okay!! i'm my worst enemy and i fear procrastination is a chronical disease of mine atp

part: prev | masterlist | next

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas

His foot taps anxiously against the marble floor, sound drowned by the bustling crowd.

People come and go. Some hug, others cry. And Joel? Well, he's just waiting for you to come.

He checks his watch, the one Sarah gifted him, and sighs. Should've known better.

It's been two months since the pregnancy scare, and ever since then, you have put a bit of a distance between yourselves.

It was slow, gradual: first the excuses then nights were you wouldn't stay or ask him to. And, even if your affair was that, just an affair, he missed sleeping in the warmth of your embrace. He also missed the way your nose would crinkle when you laughed. You didn't laugh that often anymore, and if you did, it sounded like you were holding in: as if you were afraid to let loose and let him see through you. And to be honest, it was killing him.

So when he reached out to you for this, he should've expected for you to say no. That you wouldn't show up after that I'll see if I'm free text: no, Joel Miller simply shouldn't have harbored that much hope for his daughter's bestfriend he happened to be banging.

If he hadn't confirmed his invitation, he'd probably gone home and layed down. Watch some garbage TV with Sarah and some beer in hand, but here he was, like a lonely loser, luggage in hand.

(Sarah helped him pack. He didn't even know what to wear to a wedding, and then she showed up with his old suit-- that still fit, somehow, albeit a bit more tight, from the dry cleaning. Joel would be lost without her)

The speaker announces his flight is about to leave. Joel gets up, trying not to be dissappointed about the whole thing. He's got no right to, after all.

"Joel?"

He'd end up breaking his neck by how fast he turned.

There you are, and it's like the weight he wasn't aware of, settling on his chest, had been removed.

"You made it" is the first thing that makes it out of his lips.

You softly laugh, "Hello, Joel"

He gets closer to you, slowly, like if he where to do it faster, he'd scare you off. Or you'd be gone, as if a dream.

(It'd be a nightmare, though, because you wouldn't be here)

"Sorry. I-" he cuts off, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. There's some tension lingering in the air, the same when you left his house a week ago. Joel had been too much of a coward to invite you then, rather hiding behind a screen.

But now you were here.

"I didn't think you'd come" he says after a beat of silence.

You tilt your head to the side, eyebrow up as if you hadn't been acting weird at all.

"Why wouldn't I?"

(Because it seems like being in the same room as me tires you. That your eyes don't shine anymore, and the starry sky looks like a storm when you dare search my gaze as we fuck. Every time you breath, its like breathing the same air as me burns)

He rather not press, so instead, he says:

"I'm jus' glad ya' came. 'S all"

You nod, not adding anything at all. Then, both you walk to your gate, side by side in silence, the same that had seemed to seep inside your romance for the past weeks.

Well, romance was definitely a stretch. An affair seemed more like it.

Of course, you're aware the change it's on you. It would've been dumb of you to think Joel wouldn't notice your withdrawal, or how more often than not you'd be stuck in your head. But still, he didn't comment on it, and like you, danced around the subject, afraid for different reasons as yours. Or the same. Yet, you'll never know. No, you're aware you both are too stubborn, and that whatever it started on that day, had settled in between like a burning flame.

(Had you been engulfed by the fire yet?)

You try not to think about it. After all, you had the option not to come. But a weekend away in Las Vegas after midterms? Too tempting to let go.

(And it's not like images of a stood up Joel in the airport, looking miserable, had made you restless the last couple of days after his text)

"Ya' can take the window" he says, even if it's his seat.

He knows you're nervous about flying, a little detail that came up during a post-sex small talk.

(What're you're dreams? Joel asked. You had answered that you'd love to travel the world after graduating, but that you had a fear for flying, despite having only done it once. It may have been because the first time you did, it was to fly for your grandma's funeral. Perhaps it was by association then, that the bad feelings about boarding a plane could be related to that)

"Thanks" you mumble, sitting down. You're avoiding his gaze, but know he's looking at you.

"What?" a little harsher than intended.

He looks taken back, looking at his lap as he let's out a soft whisper, sheepishly:

"Nothin'. Jus' thinkin' you look pretty today"

A light blush creeps up your cheeks as you huff out a Whatever.

Joel let's a breath of relief out his tight chest and allows himself to smile.

(At least, he's still got an effect on you)

The wedding Joel was supposed to attend is in the Ángel De La Guarda cathedral. You'd be staying nearby, at a hotel room Joel's coworker had paid for, the same where the reception would take place.

Being in the same room as Joel one night should be the least of your worries, but then the space is even smaller than it was supposed to (given by Joel's cursing as he paced around, anxiously), and the strain of your relationship settles in the air, physically so, tight around your throat.

Then, it's the bed issue: there's only one. It's not like you haven't slept in the same bed before, obviously, but there's a certain dread deep in your stomach about sharing the enclosed space when you're at your most vulnerable. He moves around a lot during night, and something tells you you'd wake up to his strong arms and hot breath fanning over your neck, hairs rising at the proximity, making it harded to calm your heart.

"You okay?" he's asking, dropping the bags in a corner.

"At what time is the wedding?" you ask.

He checks his watch. "In about seven hours"

The glass bounces a ray right into your face, and you have to close your eyes at yet nother reminder of why this is all so wrong.

Sarah.

"We should rest..." he says, plopping on the bed. His plaid t-shirt rises up at the same time the color of your cheeks does, when the glimpse of soft tanned skin reveals itself. He looks up to your stiff standing figure, bulk arms behind his neck as he rests his head on his biceps. "Don't 'cha think?"

Lay with me. Not outloud.

"No" you say, hastily so, not missing the way a flicker of dull akin to the pain of rejection finds its way to his brown eyes. "I..." your voice softens. "I'd rather take a tour of the place, you know? It's not like I'll come every weekend here"

He's about to raise up. I'm coming with you, again not out loud, in case you'd reject his offering again.

Which you do.

"I'm fine" you say, grabbing your purse. "Just... I need a moment"

Away from you.

"Suit yourself" but there's a sharp edge on his apparent kindness.

Closing the door behind you, it takes all of you to not turn around and see his face one last time.

You wander off through the bright lights and noisy hallways, walking until the sun of the outdoors filters a ray over the carpet through the glass doors. Strides take you to the pool area, kids giggling, parents sunbathing and youngsters chilling.

You sigh, dipping your feet in the pool, chlorine up your nose and water baterly grazing your sundress.

But you're drowning.

Drowning on his presence, every room he's in now smaller. Walls of the room collapsing, as the ones of your lungs, every breath tight if your nose catches a whiff of his scent lingering in the air. You'd wash the sheets almost immediately, crying when your head hit the pillow and it smelled like lavender and not Joel.

It was the only right choice: to erase him out of your life, because with every new kiss and thrust, he'd take another part of you with him, and you don't know how much more you can give of yourself without dying. A part of you dies every time he walks out the door, anxious heart pondering when will he walk out for good. When he'll realize the thrill is gone, that your escapades were all but a product of his crisis, and what started as a mutual use of bodies, ends in the waste of your heart.

Joel has become a drug for you: knowing it's destructive, but the high so addictive, you don't mind the crash. It's unevitable, and a small treacherous voice in the back of your head says you're just postponing a foretold death.

Yet Joel Miller makes you feel alive. Alive as a spring, grassbed full of blooming flowers. As sun carressing your skin: if you stay too long, the warm becoming burning.

A kid walks up to your sad lonely pensive corner, splashing water onto you.

"Hey!" but he's gone, and it's Vegas, so his parents are three mojitos down from the open bar, asleep under the sun. You curse, getting up and back to your room to change.

When you get to your room, is eerily quiet. And dark, the curtains closed.

You rumage through your suitcase, pulling out a change. The dress slips off, falling to the carpet with a pathetic drowned sound. You're about to change into the t-shirt when the lights flicker.

"You back?"

You scream, trying to cover yourself.

"Woah!" Joel covers his eyes, both your reactions ironically funny. Your cheeks burn as you finish dressing yourself up, and if he takes a small peak between his fingers, well, you'll never know. "Jesus, doll. If ya' wanted it so bad, could've asked"

Something akin to anger and deception morph into a burning flame in the pit of your stomach. Even after all this months, after this imminent fight, Joel can't bring himself to ask, dancing around the fragile line that barely holds on with the clap of skin against skin and sweat, as to replace the tears that will never see the light of the day.

"Right, because that's all I want"

He raises an eyebrow at your tone. "S' a joke"

"Jokes are supposed to make people laugh"

He shoots you a look, before standing from the bed.

"What's gotten into ya'?"

He walks closer, yet you give him your back, tossing the sundress with too much force in your bag.

"Don't know what you're talking about" as nonchalant as you can muster.

"Look at me" you keep the harsh packing going on. Joel grows impatient at your confusing demeanor, not just from today, but days ago. He's had enough. He spins you around, losing his cool as he shouts. "Damn it, y/n, stop actin' like a brat!"

"Don't touch me!" you yell back, pulling away.

"So that's how's it now?" Joel lets out a scoff. "Y' get on ma' bed but the moment I put a finger in ya', y'act all coy and angry?"

"Right, 'cause I'm a slut. That's what sluts do: we get on lonely men's bed and fuck them"

He grabs the bridge of his nose, breathing heavily. His voice is laced with frustration, and you know it's your fault.

"Never said that"

Why not talk it like adults? No. Too much of a coward to do that.

"Jus' tell me, doll. What's goin' on?"

I think I love you, and I'm fucking scared.

His voice is soft, pleading. In your lifetime, you never thought you'd see Joel Miller beg. You did once, but it wasn't like this. Please, he'd say. Now, here he is, standing before you like the smallest man who ever lived and not the unstoppable force you made him out to be.

It should be easy. But words never come easy. Not to you. Neither love, so foreign it makes you shiver with fear. So natural, one day you opened your eyes to him laying next to you, Sarah staying in another city for a soccer tournament, and decided that was what you wanted. All his mornings. His bed voice, thick from sleep. His droopy eyes and tired smile, facil hair tickling your face as he says Good mornin', Southern drawl never more prominent, kisses in between. Let's get sum coffee after, because he always had to drink the bitter liquid out of his owl mug or wouldn't be able to make it through the day.

You want him to be the first thing you see when you open your eyes.

You want Joel Miller. Want. Want. Want.

"I hate you"

You have ruined me.

He probably expected anything but that, given his crestfallen face. Joel wishes for time to go back, at the beach. He'd say no, push you away. Fought a little harder. Never gotten into your bed.

The worst part is, he's a fucking liar: he'd probably still choose the same, even if the end is near.

"You ain't mean that" not knowing if he's trying to convince you or himself. "Jus' wanna hurt me"

You don't humor him with an answer.

"I shouldn't have come" is what you say instead, the bitter taste of defeat and hurt etched in your voice.

Would've been easier to stop when we should've.

His words run through the tense air like a bullet.

"I agree"

Weddings had always made you cry.

You weren't even a romantic, but the whole thing-- the promise of forever, it seemed to move your heart a bit.

So, if your eyes shimmer when the bride makes her entrance and the groom, Joel's co-worker, tears up, you feel your chest tight and stomach drop. It clenches with something akin to dread and want, as if suddenly, all that mattered to you was love. A year ago, if you told yourself-- the one who got on her knees to suck Joel's dick at the beach that night, that you'd be here?

You would've laughed.

Falling for the grumpy old man who also happens to be your bestfriend's dad?

Right. Imagine that.

Except there is nothing to imagine. All of it is real.

From his quiet laughter, the sound foreign and not frequent by the way it rasps against his throat. But now the wrinkles around his eyes are more prominent, forbidden laughs marking his blushing face. as he looks away, embarrassed. You can laugh, you had said, I won't tell anyone, yet he made you swore like the sight of Joel Miller laughing was the worst thing in the world. So had become the grey strands on his hair, more sprouting each time, as his damp curls twisted in your fingers.

It is also in the way his sweat that drops over your body as he tries hard to last longer, to his grunts that fill the room as he fills you to the brim with his warm cum. How his rough seems to meet every inch of your soft skin, like pieces of a puzzle.

Something clicks when you're with Joel, and you can't help but feel it's your fault this rift has been created, aggressively peeling the white off your nails as some form of anxious torture. But, he too, aside from his initial Just glad you came, hadn't said a word about it again. Even if he had noticed it all, before Vegas too. Nothing. And then Joel told you it was best if you didn't come. Fucking great.

You feel him tense next to you, body stiff when your arm accidentally brushes his when you stand up from the bench, making you roll your eyes.

The fallout had been awkward. The elevator ride took forever, and then the space on the cab felt too small. He took you to the back, on the benches near the exit, like he didn't want to be seen with you. It got you fuming: why bother to invite you at all?

In all truth, you could've picked up your bags and left after the fight, yet you stayed. You wonder who's more of a coward. In this weird dancing around you've got going on, walking in circles over the words Stay and Leave, like both are too delicate to say out loud. Even as the couple speak their vows, amid the claps and tears, your mind keeps drifting back to one question: Which would hurt less?

It's not until it ricochets on your arm that you realize the tears are also your own. You brush it fast, but by the corner of your eye, you know Joel notices. Still, he doesn't say anything, which contributes to your spite.

The ceremony is over, and just as you can feel the anticipation of the reception's drinks to buzz your nerves down, someone blocks you the exit. A couple, more like it.

Before fully registering their faces, Joel's hand flies to your back, pressed in a firm manner that oozes protectiveness. It makes your heart flutter, no matter how much you try to suffocate the treacherous butterflies in your stomach. You try not to think too much about it as you take them in: a man, looking in his middle forties, probably around the same age as Joel, so as the woman next to him, who smiles warmly. Not like the man, who seems unwelcoming.

"Joel" he pronounces his name, manners coming out cold. "It's nice to see you made it"

His grip on your back becomes more firm.

"Mark" he uses the same tone. "Well, when ya' confirm, y'gotta come"

"And who may this be?" Mark's wife asks, not thinking there's harm in her words. You swear you can hear him snicker next to her.

"She's-"

Joel stops midtrack. How is he supposed to even call you?

"I'm his girlfriend"

You don't know why you did that but you did. You also don't know why it causes you such satisfaction to see their wide eyes and Mark's disdain.

"Oh, I didn't know you had a girlfriend. How lovely!"

His cheeks go pink. "Thanks, Laura"

"Yes, Joel. Didn't think you'd move on" but his tone isn't like his wife's. "I just assumed that being with someone wasn't on your list anymore, you know, at your age. Especially one so... young"

Laura shots him a look.

Maybe it wasn't your place to get angry, not after how you've subjected Joel to your silent treatment this past months. Not after the fight you've just had hours ago. But he is also the same man who held your hand after you thought you were pregnant. He was the one who stayed. It is too how his shoulders slump, like he believes it to be true. You can't bear to see him sad, as contradictory as that may sound.

"Mark, right?"

The man nods, still sickly smiling.

"To me it sounds like you're jealous. Which is awful, because you've got a lovely wife" she looks away embarrassed while Mark fumes. "Also, when I turn around, try not to stare at my ass. I saw you when we arrived"

There's nothing left to say, so you walk past them.

"I think that was funny. Don't you?"

He avoids looking at you.

"I called a cab. Should take us back to the hotel"

No thanks. Nothing.

"Alright" your tone is dry. "Do as you please"

He opens the door for you, but his movements seem stiff and unnatural. Like he's second guessing every breath and step.

The car begins to move. You lean against the window, seeing the hues of neon through the glass. Joel's eyes burn holes on your head, a glimpse of brown in the reflection.

"I liked the wedding"

Joel looks at you properly for the first time since the fight. Your hair falls gracefully in cascades, hinting at an effort that tries to pass as a nonexistent one. Your makeup is soft, but your lips are in a shade he can't quite name, yet manage to make them even more fuller than usual. God, he thinks of it smeared on his clothes and mouth, feeling dumb all of the sudden. Then there's the dress. He doesn't have a favorite color, but as of now, it may be red: specially if its the red that hugs your curves, pushes your tits up and gives a little peak of your leg with its open cut, dangerously close to the start of your inner thigh. Not appropriate to wear at a church, maybe not a wedding either, but fuck didn't he care. He'd even rip it off, if it was such a problem.

"It was beautiful" he agrees, softly. "Never been to one. Maybe's why I think so"

You remove yourself from the window, now holding his gaze.

"What?" your mouth drops in surprise. "What about yours? Weren't you married?"

He smiles, but it appears to be sad. "Never got time for a wedding thought"

Joel has told you things. Things he'd never say outloud to anyone else. So whenever he opens up, letting you in, you let him, feeling that familiar pleasing ache in your chest at the thought of being enough: enough to be trusted with a piece of him. Of Joel Miller's heart.

The rest of the ride is silent, your mind still on Joel's hand on your back, on his words, and how the sting never goes.

In every thought of yours, he is.

"What'appened to your nails?"

The question catches you off guard. You're surprised he even noticed at all. But your hand lays in the space between his and your dish, stiff, as if waiting for him to hold it.

"Oh" you remove it from the table, placing it in your lap. "I chipped the polish off"

"Why?"

You turn to look at him, brown eyes examining you curiously, as if he didn't know you. Like he hadn't almost whisper those three words you had been tettering around as well.

"Why what Joel?" tone brash.

He scoffs at the change again, shoulders slumping a bit. Probably in annoyance, perhaps in defeat.

"Dunno" he goes back to his dish, cutting the steak with a bit too much force. I thought we were okay again. "S'rry I asked"

Your chest tightens, as it had been doing lately.

Was this the only thing you knew how to do now? Hurting Joel?

"No, I'm sorry"

It's his turn to get back at you. "Sorry for what?"

You swallow the lump that's formed in your throat, avoiding his gaze.

"I-"

Your eyes nervously dart across the room, trying to ignore the churn of your stomach and knot on your throat. You then catch the perfect distraction.

"I think Mark is staring at us again"

"What?" Joel asks in disbelief at your change of topic.

"Mark is staring" you sigh, getting up and dusting your dress off. "Wanna put on a show?"

"I didn't come to a wedding and wore this dress to be seated all night" you extend your hand. A quiet truce settles in between. "Let's dance"

At some point he gets up and takes your hand. It feels good. For a moment, be it childish or foolish, your mind thinks this is how it is: with no one around to know you, you're his and he's yours. It's just the two of you, dancing and laughing under the lights. He'd know the song that's playing, and when you'd ask, unfamiliar, Joel would joke: how could ya' know it, if you ain't even born yet?

For just a moment, it feels like it could be.

The music is soft. It's some sort of rendition of Lady, Lady, Lady by the band Jim hired to play at his wedding.

Joel's clammy hands slip against your cold palms as you walk to the dance floor.

"Nervous?" you ask, biting back a smile.

He squints his eyes at you. "I'm just outta practice, 's all"

You laugh. "I would've never guessed"

He shakes his head, but the ghost of a smirk hides in his lips.

"Cheeky baby. Now you actin' funny?"

Joel's hand finds its place in your waist, holding firmly as the first verses go by.

Dancing behind masks, just sort of pantomime.

But images reveal whatever lonely hearts can hide.

"Maybe I'm just tired" you reply, placing your head against his chest. His heart starts drumming faster, and you hear him gulp.

"It ain't even midnight yet"

You close your eyes, feeling every breath of his chest against your cheek.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about"

Lady, lady, lady, lady

I know it's in your heart to stay

"Y/n-"

Lady, lady, lady, lady

"I'm sorry" this time clearer.

His body rocks yours slowly to the tempo of the music, and for a brief moment, amongst the sea of guests and the voice of the singer, time stops, and it's just him and you.

"Don't"

He can't bear it. Not tonight.

When will I ever hear you say

I love you

Not when your body feels so well against his, your head resting on his chest like all those nights ago, where Joel held you close, the silent promise of never letting you go on his warm strong embrace. Not when just the thought of losing you is too unbearable to even think of. Not when today, he can let his mind drift away and heart beat, dreaming of things that'll make him the butt of the joke. For a moment, you're not wearing this red dress that's making him insane. You're all in white and there's a ring in your hand, just as there's one in his. You'd dance and say I'm yours, forever. A giggle. You can't get rid of me. And he'd smile and reply a Good, wasn't plannin' to.

But now he feels like he's going to lose you forever.

"I missed you" it's your way of trying, again.

His head is a whirlwind of emotions.

"Yeah?"

You lean closer, until his cologne burns in your nostrils.

"Yeah"

Time like silent stares, with no apology

"Joel"

Move towards the stars, and be my only one

This time, he finds it impossible to shut you up. Not when you've raised your head until your eyes meet his, and the constellations he very much loves are ever present in your stare.

Reach into the light, and feel love's gravity

"Yeah?"

You pull in closer, and he can feel the whiff of champagne coming out of your mouth. Your lips are parted, and a shaky whisper is all it takes for his head to spin, drunk in love.

"Please"

That pulls you to my side, where you should always be

Your lips are so inviting. All he has to do is cut the centimeters separating your mouths.

But it's a wall. One filled with doubts, fear and the quiet rage of rejection.

His voice wavers when he starts speaking.

"I think-"

He hasn't even finished his sentence, but your heart is already broken.

No wonder why you've always treated it like a burden: nothing is worst than a heavy heart.

Maybe he'd come to realize just how absurd this all was. Him, much older than you and Sarah's dad. How could he let his daughter's bestfriend go this far. That he was a forty something guy, dancing with a twenty two year old girl. That love comes in all shapes and sizes, but there's no name for this you have going on since last summer. Perhaps, there'll never be.

"Please" you hear yourself repeat.

It started as a plea for a kiss. You don't know what you're begging for anymore.

"No, baby-"

And Joel is the first to step back.

Lady, lady, lady, lady, I know it's in your heart to stay

The cold water of rejection hits you in the face, far from his warm embrace, the contour of his face, centimeters away, now meters.

"We can't"

An ocean away.

"Joel-" your throat tightens, panic bubbling in your chest.

"I think we should stop"

The whole world around you does as soon as those words leave his mouth.

Sorrow is quick to turn into anger, and all those months of guilt, rush, thrill, labored breaths, broken rules and promises you held to your heart as an oath, sweet whispered cons in your pillow that smelled like him. It all comes crashing down with force.

A dry laugh escapes past your lips. Joel winces at the sound.

"A bit too late for that, isn't it?"

"Baby-"

"Don't call me baby" you hiss, feeling your vision blurry. "Don't call me like you meant it"

"I do" the music has reduced to a buzz in the back of your head. His firm voice borders between desperate and pathetic. "Which is why am making 'tis"

"Fucking coward" you spit, feeling your skin on fire.

Don't give up. Please.

Fight for me. Fight for this.

For us.

"Coward?" it's Joel's turn to laugh. His dark chuckle sends shivers through your skin. "Y' shouldn't be talkin' 'bout that"

"Don't put all of this on me" you raise your shaky finger, accusing. "Don't you fucking dare"

"Thought Mark was watchin'. Or 's that 'nother one of y'r lies?" Joel seethes. "Or maybe ya' don't give a shit 'bout it. Jus' like you ain't give a shit 'bout us!"

"You think this is easy?" your voice raises. "You think I wanted this?"

You think I don't care? That I'm doing well? That I wanted to pull away from you? That I knew things would got as bad as they are?

You think I wanted to fall for you?

His eyes darken. "You started this"

Your heart stops beating. People laugh, the band is still playing and chatter bubbles like the champagne flutes waiters carry by.

But all you can hear is the moment your palm meets his face.

"I wish I never met you, Joel Miller"

And then you rush out the door, your heels burning as much as your eyes and chest. Far from the party, far from the world.

Far from him.

"We ain't done yet!"

You hear him bark behind you, yet your legs don't stop, despite the buzz in your ears and the slight stumble in your walk.

Your voice sounds like it doesn't belong to you when you hear yourself speak, without turning around.

"I think we are"

But Joel doesn't give up, making you feel trapped between wanting to hit him again and let yourself be held.

"Y/n!" he calls out just like he used to when you were a kid. Like you knew no better. Reckless. Berating. But now the taste of bitter mingles with his punishing demeanor.

You spin your heel, walking menacingly towards him.

"Don't call me that" you seethe, jabbing a finger to his chest.

"That's your fucken name!" he shouts.

Tears spring in the corner of your eyes. "You know what I mean"

"Enlighten me, doll" the nickname feels like a slap to your face, and for a moment, you wish he called you by your name again, instead of tainting the always sweet calling with his vitriol, as if the four letters meant something sacred he had profaned. "S'a matter of fact, why don't y'enlight me 'bout everythin' that's goin' on. 'Cause guess what? I'ont know what the fuck is happenin'!"

And it terrifies me.

His shout probably ran across the empty hallway. The music coming from inside sounds like a muffled heartbeat, mirroring your own.

To lose you. I might as well have.

"I don't know why you seem'a hate me now" quiet this time, like every word coming from his mouth take his voice little by little. "Why ya' get all sweet on me after weeks of leavin' me, pushin' me to the side... I'm old, doll. I ain't capable of takin' this anymore"

I'm not capable of surviving a broken heart.

The possibility of losing Joel, foever, had never crossed your mind, not even as you closed off, ignoring the way his brown sad eyes would search yours to try and find answers, maybe scraps of the... whatever it was you shared.

Now, it was real, and it shook you to the bone.

"Was fun while it lasted" closing off, trying to shut the doors he let you in, clawing back to that Joel Miller who couldn't be bent. The one Sarah deemed unbreakable. But it's the same that didn't know when to back down, now praying the price of his foolishness.

I don't regret it, but Joel doesn't have it in him to give you more of his heart for you to take. If he cuts it now, from the root, he'll spare his brain from saving more seconds of the image of you he'd have to get rid off: you, taking your coffee with two bags of sugar because you hated uneven numbers, and three seemed too much for your latte. You, standing on his room like you belonged there. You, on his car, the leather having absorbed some of the floral scent you seemed to carry with you. In your clothes, your skin, your hair. He'd have to go to bed knowing he'd never get to feel your strands in his fingers, tickling the remmanents of desolation he'd been carrying like a second skin ever since Sarah's mother walked away.

Your blood runs cold.

"Fun?" the words spill in a bitter incredulous tone, all the while you're trying to hold to him without raising your hand for him to take it, like just the thought of it would be enough to choose you. Words seem to fail you, and grasping at him feels like holding sand: it keeps falling from your fingers, a cruel reminder of your borrowed time. "Joel"

"Fun" he repeats the word, feeling sick. "As in, you'd marry someone who's worth for ya'. Probably choose Texas, maybe you'll stay away. 'Cause you're smart, and know what's good. But if ya' came back, livin' at the same neighbour, in the house across mine, you'd glance up and see my porch, thinkin' 'bout us, and this will become a joke with y'r husband, 'bout your rebel days. To your kids, summ cautionary tale. To you? An'scape of summ sorts of y'r other wise boring life"

Your shaking at this point, not knowing if it's anger, humilliation or sorrow.

I'm sorry. Please, don't give up on me. Stay.

"I'd be an experience. But to me? Doll" Joel chuckles, humorlessly. "You were everythin'"

A choked up sob bubbles from your chest.

"So that's what you think of me?" you laugh, a sound so hollow it makes his skin shiver. "That this is for the thrill? For the fucking anecdote?!"

"Trust me. I've lived long 'nough, kid. You'll understand later"

It's like all those months next to him meant nothing. Like pulling away from your lips was the easiest thing to do.

"Don't you fucking dare call me a kid!" you push him. "I'm not a kid"

"I know you ain't!" he roars back. "But you don't know shit!"

"Neither do you!" your quick to counter. "You think you've got me all figured out, huh? Bet you think that I'm some helpless naive idiot who doesn't know what I want. I don't know what I'm doing, that you're right. But I do know what I signed up for, the price I would pay" losing you or Sarah. Both. "I wanted it, and newsflash: so did you" you breath, running your hands through your hair, trying to comb some sense of normalcy to ground yourself while you try to recover your composture. His arms lay weakly by his sides, restraining himself from running to you and craddle you on his arms. "You chose this. You chose me, Joel Miller" each word pronounced with contempt. "I'm not a victim. Neither are you"

A dry chuckle escapes past his chapped lips. "What are we, then?"

(Two lonely souls who seek warmth. People who fell into the same bed. Shared time they shouldn't have. Selfish. Living on borrowed time. Always tettering around the edge, so easy to fall. History repeating itself. The dancing around. Dirty, like the Texan roads: and they all lead back to his bed)

"So do it" you shove him again, as if by doing so, you could push him away forever. From your mind, from your heart. From your life. "Say it"

He shakes his head, as if you'd insulted him.

"Sweetheart-"

"Say. It" you bark, tasting the venom on your tongue. "Say it!"

"I can't" looking so small, your resolve almost crumbles. Almost.

"Coward" you spit, repeatedly punching him feebly on the chest as tears stream down your cheeks. He tries to grab your hands, to stop you. "Don't touch me! Let me go"

"I can't" this time louder.

Tears sprout with more intensity at the desperate weight on his tone.

A single drop runs down when you say, defeated: "Quit me"

"I can't!" he shouts in your face, voice breaking slightly.

"Why?!"

"'Cause I fucking can't!" Joel breaks. He crumbles in your arms, body shaking as he buries himself in your reluctant embrace. He speaks again, this time softer, "I can't lose 'cha, baby. If that makes me sum goddamn coward, then so be it"

Something in you stirs. Like a lost boat, finding a lighthouse during a storm. Arriving to shore with gentle waves. Home, where it belongs.

"Joel-"

"I'm sorry for bein' selfish" between agitated and terrified, afraid of the silence and what you may say. "For noticin' your quiet and still carryin' on"

"Joel"

"Believe me, doll. I tried to stop. To leave ya'" he swallows, "but then I got invited and my mind went to ya'. Fast. You were the first person in my mind. Always are. I think that's when I knew. S'okay if you don't-"

"Joel!" you shout this time.

He raises his view from his little spot on your chest.

"It isn't just you" in a whisper that could easily pass as the wind that sweeps inside from the main door. Voice so fragile it hurts like glass. "I feel this too"

Just like that, he's both gone and back. His heart beats on his throat, voice raw when he searches for your eyes and asks:

"You do?"

The big unbreakable Joel Miller, looking at you not like a force to be reckoned with, but as a man, worn down by years of solitude and the weight of a secret.

You smile through the tears. "I've been many things, but a liar never"

He chuckles, softly. "Always was a bad one"

"See?" softly teasing, "you can attest to that"

"Twenty one years seem 'nough"

"Soon to be twenty two" pause. "And I would love it if you were there to see it"

A breath hitches somewhere in the middle of the new aphonia that's settled.

"You don't mean all'at. Think 'bout it-"

"I do" you interrupt him, firmly. You hold his gaze while cupping his face, the fright on his face mirroring your own. "You asked before, remember? There's your answer"

Joel is at loss for words. Was never good with them, less when it came to you: like your presence unsettled him in the same way tornadoes made him quiver when he was a child, rattling him to the bone. But there was a morbid fascination to them, in their destructive nature. Like beauty could be horror too, and he had learnt it thanks to your unforgiving winds that had swept him away from his feet.

He was flying. Fucking flying. Never quite landing. Afraid of the fall.

"I'm scared"

Joel leans in, forehead touching yours. His skin is warm, something about it soothing your nerves down.

"Me too"

You bite back a smile. "Big broody Miller, scared?"

"Y' know how'da disarm a man. I'll give ya' that"

You laugh, eyes crinkling while you swat his chest playfully. It's the same sound he missed so dearly. Joel can feel himself breath with relief.

"Now that's the story I'll tell my kids" could be our own. "The one where I won over Joel Miller"

A deep, rich rumble erupts from his chest as he pulls you even closer, this time, your head the one on his chest.

"I'll do you one better" he slowly moves his leg closer to the inner part of your thighs. "Wanna hear how it ends?"

"Jesus, Joel" laugh tense. Your heart pulses like his cock. Hard. "You sure are a mood killer"

He presses further. "But ya' want it, don't 'cha?"

You whimper, weakly. Truth is, you've been wet since you saw him dress on his rather tight suit. Now, after what you just confessed, you're not sure you can hold back any longer.

"Use y'r words, baby"

"Our room" the possesive adjective making his stomach rumble with need. "Now"

Stumbling feet. Whispered breaths oozing with drunk desire. Giggles. Buttons of an elevator pressed forcefully. A crammed space that felt even smaller. More giggles in a hallway full of doors that looked the same. Some mumbling, trying to remember the room. Grabbing the card from his pocket. You somehow make it to your room. Fumbling fingers. One swipe. Two. Try slower, but his voice is as urgent as strained. The door gives in. Finally, couldn't wait any longer. And he's chastising you, for being so impatient. Yet his eyes are all dark and sweet when looking it at you.

"We're here" and then the door closes with a loud thud. And Joel is yours again, just like he was that night, and forever was since.

You wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him back fervently. You open your mouth and let his tongue get inside as you moan his name.

"Please" you whine.

"Please what?" Joel chuckles, enamoured at your hanging mouth and heaving chest. Fucking tease. "Use y'r words, doll"

"Please, Joel" and hearing your name fall out of your lips like it's the most sacred prayer brings him weak to his knees. "I need you"

(I need you, as in I need you here. With me. Now. To never let go and hold my hand, not only when we fuck, but also when we walk, side by side, hands brushing like a touch it's too much to bear. Because if we held hands, I'd never be able to pull back. I need you to look at me as you undress me, because I'm bearing all of me for you, scars, body and secrets, trembling like a scared child, because no one's ever had me. Not like you. Not like you)

"'S right, sweet thing" he drawls out in a husky whisper, like his slick tongue was coated in honey. He pulls your head back, nipping and sucking on your skin. "Say ma' name like 's the only thing you know"

And in a way, it is. Because you'd always call Joel, fingers itching at a number you've memorized until it's burned in your eyelids, like when you close your eyes, you can see him standing in front of you, Texan accent and heavy boots in your doorstep, later to be discarded and hidden beneath your bed.

He pulls back, making you involuntary whine at the loss of his lips and tongue on you.

"Tell me you want this" he's saying, and for a moment, past the fire and the need, you see Joel as not the man who can bring you to come two times in a row, but your bestfriend's dad, who's slept in a bed alone for the past two decades, who can't meet you in the eyes when he undresses himself, looking like the one who's got the more to lose when his lips press aginst yours in a soft manner, not out of tenderness but out of fear.

"I do" without hesitation, as if you would tattoo your promise and wear it like your heart on your sleeve. "I want you, Joel"

You want all of him: from his boring Sundays sprawled on the couch watching a rerun of some old sitcom to his greying hair, aching joints and creaking bones, that despite so, would still kneel and eat your pussy like a man starved, tongue sliding through your folds with a learned ache, pouring the same yearn, longing and hunger that he wears on his eyes when they land on you, no matter if his brown are miles away, because they'd always find your own, like a boat lost in translation and a sea of sorrow coming back home, as if you're the only important thing in the world. His anchor. The lighthouse of his vast ocean of forlorness.

"That's my girl" but no smirk adorns his face, rather a small smile that warms your chest, right as he pulls you back in. There's a shift in the aire as he kisses you know, as if not only his tongue is in your insides but his soul, without holding back this time, like all limits have blurred and melted into a pool of desire and affection.

Joel pushes you down onto the wide bed, climbing on top of you as he kisses your jawline, leaving wet kisses along your warm skin. You moan as every contact of his mouth sends shudders to your body, him taking his time as he works over your jaw, down to your chest.

"Such'a pretty doll. And's mine" his calloused fingers fiddle with your bra, unclasping the lingerie until it falls messily discarded next to the bed. "Got summ nice tits on you, baby" and Joel's eyes sparkle with excitement, lighting up like the neon lights of the Vegas sign, "don't 'cha think?"

Your back arches with his touches, mouth ghosting over your nipple, already pebbled at just Joel's breath.

"Fuck, Joel" you mewl his name, dragged with difficulty as he laps his tongue over your breasts greedily. You can feel Joel's cock pulse and throbb in your thigh as his body hovers over yours, lips still wrapped around your nipple as he suckles and nibbles at the tender flesh.

"'S sorry, doll" he's apologizing in a mocking manner as you whimper at the contact of him against you, suckling hard, tongue swirling and flicking over the sensitive bud as he drew it deeper into the wet heat of his mouth. "Ain't know you'd be so fucken responsive with just a lil' lick at y'r pretty tits"

As your body trembles and quakes, he speaks again.

"Open y'r mouth" you do so, because honestly, you'd never deny him a thing. "Want 'cha to suck on 'tis fingers, like the slut ya're. Get them wet so they feel good against 'tis greedy pussy"

You take the fingers as you'd take his cock, sucking on the skin that tastes like salt and gasoline, a slight bitter taste but you take them as deep as you can, until your lips brush his rough knuckles.

"Good greedy whore" he praises. "Now let me help ya' with that"

Joel gestures your damp panties, taking them off and putting them up his nose, inhaling like he did the first time you ever fucked, back at the beach house that summer that feels a life ago, seawaves crashing onto the shore as they drowned out your moans.

"Sweet" as if your arousal was his favorite dessert, gripping the sticky lingerine until his knuckles turn white. "Fucken wet and drippin', and s'all for me"

He feels your greedy hands fumble with his pants and belt, pulling him closer as the feeling of unfairness at his clothed figure dawns upon you.

"I like how you look in a suit, but right now-"

He laughs, a deep rich sound bubbling up from his chest.

"Ma' baby wants it that bad, huh?" you nod your head feverishly, a beg threatening past your lips.

"Please, Joel. I want to suck your cock" the dirty words come out as quick as a breath. "I missed it so so bad" not caring at all about how desperate you come across or the pitiful begging that's a plea away from drooling out of your mouth with an aching hunger.

"'S that what you want? Draggin' me out'a reception 'cause y'r greedy dirty mouth couldn't keep still? Bet you'd crawl on da' floor just to get a taste of this dick" every word makes you mewl. "Might have to see ya' beggin' for it"

"I'll do it" you beg, voice a wanton plea. "I'll do whatever, I just need to-"

"I see ya' really do"

He removes your hands from his body, chuckling as you pout and whine like a baby.

"Love hearin' ya' so eager fo'me" Joel says, tugging the pants finally down. Through the cloth of his underwear, it's impossible not to see the silhoutte of his hard throbbing dick.

The sight of him, hair disheveled, pupils blown wide, white button shirt now wrinkled and sticky with sweat, tie loose and that faint smell of champagne that clung to his mouth and scent like a second layer of his skin.

"Get on the floor. Now" he commands, and you're quick to obey. "Gonna fuck that dirty mouth of yours until my cum dribbles outta your cheek. S' now? Be obedient if ya' want a taste, slut"

You let out a small whimper as Joel frees his cock from his underwear.

"That's right, baby. Like what ya' see?" his cock is straddling your face in your current kneeling form. "Need that mouth to open wider"

You obey in an instant.

"Good girl"

Joel shoves his cock inside your mouth, giving you a few seconds to adjust before pushing a little further. You bob your head forward but the task proved to be hard when he was thrusting at the same time. His big hard dick hits the back of your throat, a gag dying past your busy lips. 

"'S it bad if I tell ya' I like watchin' you squirm and struggle with my cock? 'S fuckin' hot"

You narrow your eyes, struggling to keep your throat relaxed as he thrusts forward, fucking your mouth and throat. Your thighs clasp together, the slick pooling down your legs in the absence of underwear.

Joel's groans become raspier as his body begins to tense.

"'M gonna fuck y'r throat raw, doll. And then, I'm gonna cum. Down y'r greedy throat. 'S my girl okay with that" he can see the plea in your eyes as you choke on his cock once more. "S'alright then. Ya' know I love to spoil ma' girl"

As his body starts to edge closer, his tongue runs loose.

"Love watching you suck ma' dick" he looks down on you, eyes glossy, probably because he was drunk in alcohol and you. "Love how it feels. Love how you feel. Love- I love you"

(There's an involuntary gag somewhere)

Joel's body tenses and it doesn't take that much for you to feel the warmth of his cum go down your throat.

You choke again and he brings his dick out of your throat and let you swallow the rest. 

There's a beat of silence, as dense as his fluids down your throat. You avoid his gaze, heart drumming on your chest.

"Doll..." he whispers, the last bits of climax sweating off his skin; all that's left is shame. "C'mere"

(Say it back, he should plead. I know your eyes don't lie, but if I heard those three silly words out of your mouth, I could die happy tonight. A bigger man would beg, but he's never been good, even if he tried)

He helps you get up, wobbly legs not being of help when it comes to the shock of his confession.

I love you.

As much as a tender touch as a knife slitting your chest open in a clean cut.

(You're bleeding love)

Love.

Such a foreign word, one you've never felt before. Yet, what's scary is recognizing that latent warmth on every stolen glance; brush of a hand. The tingles provoked by getting the largest serving, even if his daughter sat at the same table. The flutter of your chest when he tried to be there for you when you thought you were pregnant, even if he was as scared as you. In every little thing he had done since you first started playing with fire, how you wore his heartbeat as an echo and his skin like a second layer to your own.

His lips are swollen when they take yours.

"'S fine" some kind of tiredness seeping through the cracks of his gruff exterior and composed rejected posture. "Ya' don't have to-"

"I love you" you croack out.

His voice comes out impossibly small as he whispers. "What...?"

A fireworks show explodes out somewhere in the background.

"I love you" you repeat, words dripping with an adoration only known to captain's going down with their sinking ships.

You're drowning, but the water doesn't burn your lungs anymore.

"Lemme help with that sore throat of yours" he's tugging down your bottom lip, fingers playing with your mouth to open it. He gazes at you with a look that tugs at your heartstrings. "Open, baby"

Your dry throat and warm mouth welcomes the spit he lands inside.

"There ya' go" and you swallow it, making him curse. "Fuck. 'S so hot seein' you do that, my lil' sweet slut"

"Joel" you whine, hands curled up in white fists as you grab him by the collar of his button shirt.

"Whoa, baby. What's goin' on?" he chuckles softly. "Use y'r words"

"Y-You made a mess-" you blabber, the wet slick between your thigh sticky. "I-It hurts, Joel"

"Hurt?" he cocks an eyebrow. "Care to show me where?"

You sit in the bed, parting your legs, finger pointing out the moist zone.

"Here"

His adam's apple bobs, and the gulp reverberates against the walls of the room.

"Fuck... I see" each word strained. "Don't worry, doll. I can help ya' with'at"

It's his turn to kneel, knees burying on the carpet.

He places one of his big hands on your knee, his calloused fingers tracing absent patterns over the skin. His other hand drums slighty against your trembling leg, so close yet so far. You're so impossibly eager, and a part of him, that fragile ego, is boosted to the roof at your (actual and very real) want for him.

All that glistening pussy was his work. Joel really disarmed you like that.

"If I do this, maybe it won't hurt anymore" his mustache and recently trimmed beard tickle against your sensitive folds as he presses a kiss to your core. You writhe, throwing your head back as your hands fly to his hair, gripping the greying loose curls tightly at the contact. "Will ya' let me eat out this pretty pussy, doll?"

"Please" you let out, breathlessly.

"Love hearin' ya' beg" and he dives in, strong hands holding your thighs on place as he sucks your clit lightly. Your hips buck, his face burying into your cunt to the point his nose touches the warm folds. You moan at the feeling, his tongue now circling against your center.

"J-Joel"

"Feels s'good, right? As good as I feel feastin' on this tight little cunt" and his deep voice sends jolts when it echoes against your walls. You squirm at the sensation, stomach tight with his sucking and licking, misntrations sending you to the edge.

"Joel?"

Barely above a whisper, voice tight.

He looks up to you, pupils blown wide. "Yes?"

"C-Can you finger me, please?"

"Fuck, baby" he whistles. "You really know how'da bring a man to his knees"

And you chuckle at his lame attempt of a joke, not laughing at him but with him.

Joel slides one of his thick, calloused fingers through your soaked folds, feeling the velvet softness of your inner walls clench down on the invading digit, a demonstration of how impatient they were to take his cock. He circles your clit with the pad of his thumb, rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves in tight, slow circles.

"Wanna hear you, y/n" just your name alone on his mouth makes you writhe, and Joel's encouragement as his finger dips lower to tease at your entrance. He slides a second finger into your cunt, pumping in and out of your tight walls in a steady, driving rhythm. You roll against his hand as he curls his fingers. "Fuck yourself on my fingers, baby. Wanna see you ride 'em 'til you come undone. Wanna taste your cum on my tongue as you scream ma' name"

He can feel your body start to tremble, pussy clenching down on his fingers as he fucks you with a relentless pace.

"Shit" he groans, tongue lapping firmly at your clit, "s' fucking tight"

"I-I can't help it" you feel the burning sensation in the corner of your eyes, "I-I feel every inch of you in me"

(Up to your body, head and heart)

"And you ain't even had my cock yet" he's quick to tease. "But I know you'll feel s'good, baby. Takin' my cock like da' good girl y'are"

Tears begin to stream down your face freely, the salty drops hot against your warm skin.

You sniffle, and Joel's movements stop for a bit.

"You cryin'?" but you know damn well he's aroused, by the way he licks his lips absentmindedly as his brown orbs stare back at you, dilatated. You still remember the last time you cried during sex, and how his reaction was practically the same, except this time, it's received with a grateful welcome home. "Fuck, baby- I love when you cry like a lil' cocksleeve over ma' dick"

Despite the lewd words, he's wiping your tears away with his thumb in a soft gentle touch.

"S'okay, baby" he coos, kissing up your throat and onto your chin. Then, you feel a wet sensation on your cheek: but it isn't the tears, yet his tongue, licking the hot stream. "I'll give ya' ma' cock if you want it so much. Now quit your cryin', yeah?"

But you keep sniffling, impossible to close the dam once it's broken.

"My sweet crybaby" Joel mumbles, "I love ya', doll"

"I love you too" each time you said it, a new flower blooming in your heart. It could be. "I do, Joel"

He smiles, the kind of smile that is painful to watch. The kind that says: Is this real? Do I deserve this?

"Y'know I'm bad with words, so lemme show you instead"

He's climbing on top of you as you push yourself into the middle of the bed, lips tangled into a demanding kiss, his tongue dominating your mouth like he wants to tame it. He drops his underwear again, but he's still wearing the goddamn shirt. You whine, and for a second, while over you, he stops.

"What is it, baby?" Joel pants.

"T-take it off" you huff, worked up. You let the tie loose first, starting to unbutton his shirt after. "I want to see you, Joel"

His hand is quick to fly and stop you from taking it off. Even in the dim lit room, you can see the faintest of a blush covering his cheeks.

"Sweetheart..." he mumbles, "I dunno-"

"Please" trying to remove his hand.

"You really wanna?" but behind his teasing smile there's both a hopeful and vulnerable glint to his voice.

You extend your hand, cupping his cheek. He leans into the touch, and for a moment, the world outside ceases to exist, and it's just you, your ragged breaths and the light tickle of his growing beard on your palm.

It could be.

"Because I love you" holding his gaze firmly. "All of you"

"Fuck, baby" Joel starts to get off the shirt, "ya' really made those fuckers downstairs drop their damn mouths when ya' walked in with me. Couldn't believe it, such'a pretty girl could be mine" he snarls, grabbing your face by the chin. "Hell, I'ont believe it either. That you could wanna be with me"

But then you're touching his now naked form before you, fingers slowly tracing through his face to his tense jawline. Then across his broad shoulders to his tummy, feeling the soft swell against your stomach as he leans over your eager form. It's the way you look at him, as if he's the most beautiful man in the world, that makes his breath catch on his throat, staggering.

Your sweet broken voice rings in his head.

It isn't just you. I feel this too.

(Scared. Confused. Happy. Grieving. Loving)

It should be his ego boosted and cock stroked, but when his eyes find yours, it's his heart that feels the fullest.

Fuck, he was too old for this shit.

"Look at 'cha, making lame ol' me a sappy motherfucker" he laughs, the same blush from earlier now more prominent. He leans down to kiss you, his moustache brushing your lips. "If ya' don't stop, I'll take ya' right now and we're gettin' married tonight by summ random Elvis guy"

"What If I wanted that?" you challenge as your mouth presses fluttering kisses to his caging arm, lips stopping on each spot and mole peppered through his thick bicep.

"Then get dressed" you feel him squirm under your insistent lips, "'cause I ain't gettin' married again while naked"

"Where you married, Joel?" you can feel the salt air up your nose of the first night again, asking the same questions. The fact that he's opening to you warms your chest in a pleasant way.

He looks at you absentmindedly, humming as to confirm.

"We were too damn young. Had to, for the baby on the way" he tells. You remember Sarah's aversion to the topic, and given his next words, it makes sense. "Then she left"

I would never leave.

"I'm sorry" you offer instead.

"Don't" the atmosphere is quick to change again as thise words leave his mouth. "Now, where were we?"

You're quick to spread your legs to him, gilstening cunt on full view.

"Good girl" he smirks, lining himself with your warm entrance. "If ya' keep behavin', I might give ya' my cum"

His tip against your clit for a few seconds before pushing down against your hole. Joel groans as his length sinks in your gummy walls, feeling the tightness from before.

"You feel s'good" grunting as he slowly pushes in, letting you adjust to his girth. "Always do" 

He presses a gentle kiss to your sweaty hairline. 

"Tell me how it feels"

"Good" you mewl. "Big"

"Ain't that right" he chuckles.

"Need it all. Please" and you grip his neck tightly, arms around it. His nose brushes against yours as he grunts out a You little minx. "Want it, Joel. I can take it"

He bottoms out. "Then do"

"Fuck" you curse, cunt stretched to adapt to his girth. You breath in painfully, and Joel's eyes lace with concern. "I-It's fine"

"Sure? I can wait"

"I’m okay" you assure him, moved by his care for you. You buck your hips. "You can move"

He starts by setting a slow pace, taking all the space insade your clutching heat. Joel groans at the sensation, your walls gripping him like a vice as he continues to move in a slow motion, pounding into you with deep, powerful strokes. Yet, as his arms cage you by your sides and you look at him with certainty, he picks up a brutal pace, just as you like it, slamming into you over and over again, the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin filling the small bathroom.

"K-keep going" you grip his left arm. Joel lets out a hiss as your nails dig on his skin. "Feels so good"

"Good'nough for you to cum on m'dick?" he groans huskily in your ear, breath ghosting on your skin like a hot kiss. "Gonna fill you up, doll. I'll mark you as mine, now and for da' rest of y'r life"

The way his voice drips with dominance as he commands you, filled with a rough rich baritone tinted with a possesive hunger, his hips moving faster as he drives into you with force, pistoning harder is enough to set you on edge.

He leans forward, capturing your lips in a kiss. 

"Cum f'me, baby. Let me hear ya' cryin' over my cock"

Tears. Stars. Grunts. Moans. Cum.

Your cry for his name against his lips is how you announce your orgasm, washing over you. Your walls flutter as Joel lets you ride slowly through your climax.

"There ya' go, baby. Go on, ride it" then, he pauses. His face strains. "Hold on tight. I'm gonna- I'm gonna cum. Right there, baby. Stay"

Somewhere along the moans and the writhes of your soft skin against his hard planes and soft belly, Joel asks where you want it. Inside, you hear yourself say, eager to feel all of him again, filling your insides, invading every inch of your body until a part of himself leaks into your heart. He's then blabbering as your walls and heart flutter, about kids and other things you both want but can't have. Tonight, though, as he Joel buries himself deep inside you, his cock throbbing and pulsing as he starts to come, grinding against you, making sure you feel every last spurt, every last bit of his release, you allow yourself to believe.

He pumps some shallows thrusts inside of your slick dripping cunt, emptying himself, before pulling out and looking down at you with a tired smile.

"I love you" he says again in fervent whisper, as if by repeating it, he could materialize it. "I love you so fucking much, y/n. And if ya' can't accept that, can't believe in that, then... then I'ont know what the fuck I'm gonna do. 'Cause I can't lose ya', baby. I can't"

"You won't" you don't know why it comes so easy, or why the promise slips as natural as a breath. "I'm here, Joel Miller. You won't lose me"

credits: divider @kodaswrld / gif @loregifs

[pralinesims]

THUNDERSTRUCK Ear Piercing Collection

The thunder has struck, and all the glitter has been turned to dust... The only thing that's left is metal.

So, here's an extended, glitter-less set of my beloved Thunder Piercings, which I've been using religiously ever since I've made them. I also advise you to check out my original post, as I've made 5 new extra additions to the original glittery versions.

Things you should know:

Base game compatible.

For fem + masc frames, teen-elder.

All versions come in 15 colors.

Polycount: 40-3064, depending on each piece.

Works with HQ mod, pics taken without it.

Under earings category.

Hope you enjoy! ⚡️

➔ DOWNLOAD (Patreon FREE)

If you like, please consider to support my work 🖤 ● ALL MY CC DOWNLOADS

[nasa]

Student Experiments Soar!

Have you ever wondered what it takes to get a technology ready for space? The NASA TechRise Student Challenge gives middle and high school students a chance to do just that – team up with their classmates to design an original science or technology project and bring that idea to life as a payload on a suborbital vehicle.

Since March 2021, with the help of teachers and technical advisors, students across the country have dreamed up experiments with the potential to impact space exploration and collect data about our planet.

So far, more than 180 TechRise experiments have flown on suborbital vehicles that expose them to the conditions of space. Flight testing is a big step along the path of space technology development and scientific discovery.

The 2023-2024 TechRise Challenge flight tests took place this summer, with 60 student teams selected to fly their experiments on one of two commercial suborbital flight platforms: a high-altitude balloon operated by World View, or the Xodiac rocket-powered lander operated by Astrobotic. Xodiac flew over the company’s Lunar Surface Proving Ground — a test field designed to simulate the Moon’s surface — in Mojave, California, while World View’s high-altitude balloon launched out of Page, Arizona.

Here are four innovative TechRise experiments built by students and tested aboard NASA-supported flights this summer:

1. Oobleck Reaches the Skies

Oobleck, which gets its name from Dr. Seuss, is a mixture of cornstarch and water that behaves as both a liquid and a solid. Inspired by in-class science experiments, high school students at Colegio Otoqui in Bayomón, Puerto Rico, tested how Oobleck’s properties at 80,000 feet aboard a high-altitude balloon are different from those on Earth’s surface. Using sensors and the organic elements to create Oobleck, students aimed to collect data on the fluid under different conditions to determine if it could be used as a system for impact absorption.

2. Terrestrial Magnetic Field

Middle school students at Phillips Academy International Baccalaureate School in Birmingham, Alabama, tested the Earth’s magnetic field strength during the ascent, float, and descent of the high-altitude balloon. The team hypothesized the magnetic field strength decreases as the distance from Earth’s surface increases.

3. Rocket Lander Flame Experiment

To understand the impact of dust, rocks, and other materials kicked up by a rocket plume when landing on the Moon, middle school students at Cliff Valley School in Atlanta, Georgia, tested the vibrations of the Xodiac rocket-powered lander using CO2 and vibration sensors. The team also used infrared (thermal) and visual light cameras to attempt to detect the hazards produced by the rocket plume on the simulated lunar surface, which is important to ensure a safe landing.

4. Rocket Navigation

Middle and high school students at Tiospaye Topa School in LaPlant, South Dakota, developed an experiment to track motion data with the help of a GPS tracker and magnetic radar. Using data from the rocket-powered lander flight, the team will create a map of the flight path as well as the magnetic field of the terrain. The students plan to use their map to explore developing their own rocket navigation system.

The 2024-2025 TechRise Challenge is now accepting proposals for technology and science to be tested on a high-altitude balloon! Not only does TechRise offer hands-on experience in a live testing scenario, but it also provides an opportunity to learn about teamwork, project management, and other real-world skills.

“The TechRise Challenge was a truly remarkable journey for our team,” said Roshni Ismail, the team lead and educator at Cliff Valley School. “Watching them transform through the discovery of new skills, problem-solving together while being driven by the chance of flying their creation on a [rocket-powered lander] with NASA has been exhilarating. They challenged themselves to learn through trial and error and worked long hours to overcome every obstacle. We are very grateful for this opportunity.”

Are you ready to bring your experiment design to the launchpad? If you are a sixth to 12th grade student, you can make a team under the guidance of an educator and submit your experiment ideas by November 1. Get ready to create!

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

[dizzydaisychains]

ℭ𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔬

⋆｡°✩ pairing: sylus x reader

⋆｡°✩ word count: 10k

⋆｡°✩ summary: because sometimes, love grows quietly; thorns and all (or alternatively: eight times sylus falls in love, and one time he actually says it out loud.

⋆｡°✩ ao3 link (if you would like to read it on there instead): https://archiveofourown.org/works/64993741

I.

It starts on a Tuesday. 

And really, Sylus should have seen it coming from a mile away, should have taken note of the flashing neon signs that his brain had been setting up for him ever since he found you again, but like most trivial things, he’s chosen to ignore it for the time being. Ignorance is bliss after all, but now, in this current situation, he’s beginning to wonder if it’s too late to run. 

Because it’s 2am on a Tuesday night, and instead of cleaning up a job gone wrong or dusting his vinyl collection for the nth time, he’s lying in the grass in a field outside Linkon city, your head on his chest as both of you stare up at the glittering constellations spread over the night sky. 

And no matter how hard he tries to concentrate on Cassiopeia or Orion, all he can think about is all the ways he can get you to stay here a little longer. 

It’s like the first sign of sunshine after a particularly long winter, or the feeling of falling into bed after a long day. Being with you has made all those years of solitude worth it, has given his life purpose when he had slowly been sinking into eternal ennui, yet, for some reason, he can’t find the words to tell you this. Words usually come easy to him. Striking a deal, manipulating a soul; he’s mastered the art of conversation in every shape and form, but when it comes to you, he finds that most of his words aren’t enough.

On top of that, there’s also the fact that your current relationship is delicate. His abysmal attempts of getting you to remember him had only ended up earning him your resentment. Since then, he has vowed to never let that happen again, but this slow pace is burning him alive. Are you two even dating? Everything is vague, yet nothing feels as clear as this; him holding you in his arms as you both pick apart the stars, trying to make sense of why they burn and how long it would take to reach one.

“Sylus?”

Your voice lulls Sylus out of his thoughts, his eyes landing on your soft gaze. 

“What are you thinking about?”

Sylus shakes his head. “It’s nothing.”

He tries to ignore the look you give him as you reach out and trace the crinkle between the bridge of his nose and his forehead. 

“Liar. I can see your frown lines. You’re worried about something.”

Sylus scoffs. “I never worry, Kitten. I’m too powerful for that.” 

“Oh really? Then what about that time you thought you scratched your favourite vinyl? Or the time I nearly shrunk your sweater in the dryer?”

“Do you often keep note of my habits like this?” He smiles as he notices a faint blush appear on your cheeks.

“Force of habit. I’m a Hunter. I need to keep a close eye on Linkon’s most wanted.”

“Ah, so you still see me as someone dangerous . I see how it is…”

“You know that’s not true.” 

Sylus huffs as you shift your position to face him properly. He can’t help but love how his hands naturally gravitate towards your waist, gently steadying you as you look down at him with a pout on your lips.

“Do you really still believe I think of you like that?” 

Sylus holds his breath as you hold his face in your hands. Warm. Your hands are always so warm. Sylus craves it. Craves your touch, craves your soft fingertips on his skin as he looks at you wondering if you can tell that he wants nothing more than to kiss you until he runs out of breath. 

“Then what do you think of me?” Sylus asks, voice low. 

“You are whatever a moon has always meant, and whatever a sun will always sing is you,” you sing with a soft smile.

Sylus smirks. “So you went with the words of E.E Cummings. When did you start learning to recite poetry like that?”

“Since you started reading it to me at night when you think I’m asleep.”

“Well aren’t you always full of surprises?”

Sylus smiles as one of your hands moves to his hair, twirling the loose strands between your fingers. It’s all so intimate . He doesn’t know how much longer he can restrain himself, your sweet scent is driving him insane. Would it be so bad to kiss you? To admit that maybe…the feeling is real? Would fate be so cruel as to punish him for confessing to what it has cursed him to do until the end of time? 

But perhaps, it isn’t up to him at all, because it’s you who leans in and kisses him, once, then twice, and then he loses count, his grip on your hips tightening as you hold his face, guiding him as he chases the burning feeling in his stomach.

And he desperately tries to ignore it, the thorns curling around his chest. You know where this ends, his conscience hisses at him. You’ll lose her again if you keep giving in to your desires. The weight of the dragon’s curse will haunt you until your last breath–

“Sylus …”  Your desperate voice breaks through the darkness. 

“Sylus..I…I…”

“It’s okay,” Sylus pants in between kissing you. “It’s okay Kitten, you don’t have to say anything.”

“But–”

He deepens the kiss and you moan, your hips grinding against him. It’s too much. Sylus knows he has to stop. Christ, he doesn’t want to though. You feel amazing in his lap, his hands gliding up your soft thighs. 

“Kitten…” He pulls away and looks at your swollen lips, the desire in your eyes. 

“Why’d you stop?” you whine, grinding in his lap, which makes him laugh a little. The darkness in his heart subsides briefly. 

“Now isn’t the time and place.”

“Why do you always have to be right,” you sigh in response, leaning against his chest as you both catch your breath under the stars. He rests his chin on the crown of your head, trying his best to keep it together. 

Perhaps it is too late to run. 

Sylus shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath, tries to shut out the voices in his head.

There’s no denying it;

He’s falling in love.

And so, it starts on a Tuesday, but really, deep down, Sylus knows it started long before that. 

II.

Admitting that he’s in love is one thing, but accepting it is another predicament that Sylus has been unsuccessfully avoiding over the past week. 

He sighs deeply as he stares out the window of his office, his hand stroking Mephisto’s sleek feathers a few times before heading towards his desk where a pile of paperwork sits waiting to be read through and signed. One of the top ten ‘perks’ of being the leader of a powerful mafia gang; fucking paperwork. 

Taking a seat, he runs a hand through his hair and begins to scan through the documents. It’s a tedious task. It takes him about two hours to even make it halfway through the pile. 

He’s beginning to feel the start of migraine forming in the back of his head when suddenly, the door bursts open and the twins come tumbling in.

“What have I said about knocking before entering?” 

“Sorry, Boss! But it’s urgent,” Kieran waves a phone in his face, Sylus’ own phone to be exact. He must have left it in the dining room after breakfast this morning.

“Whoever it is, tell them I’m occupied,” Sylus scoffs, turning his attention back to the document in front of him. 

“Err…Boss…I think you might want to look at this.” It’s Luke this time, the bolder one of the two. Sylus flicks his gaze upwards, curious to see what exactly is so urgent. 

“It’s…well it’s her. She’s in a bit of trouble. Seems like she’s been kidnapped. They said they won’t harm her if we let them talk to you.”

The twins must feel the chill in the air as the temperature immediately drops. They shiver as Sylus slowly stands up, one hand taking the phone from Luke, the other slowly curling into a fist as his Evol begins to swirl around the room. 

“You have ten seconds to give me your location,” Sylus says into the phone, voice deadly calm, but it’s a voice that the twins know all too well. Luke elbows Kieran before mining a blade sliding across his throat. Whoever is on the other end of the phone might as well start planning their funeral.

“We’re not giving you anything until you agree to our terms,” the voice on the other end of the phone hisses. “We heard your little Hunter here has an Aether Core in her possession. However, she won’t cooperate. We’re not exactly sure where she’s hiding it though, and she’s been quite difficult to extract information from–”

“If you fucking lay a finger on her, you’ll be sorry you were ever even born,” Sylus growls, to which the voice on the other side of the phone laughs in response to.

“Convince her to give us the Aether Core. If you can do that, we’ll let her walk free.”

“Are you asking me to make a deal with you?”

“I heard you love making deals. Tell you what, we’ll throw in an extra batch of enhanced protocores, just because I’m feeling generous.”

“And your location?”

“The abandoned warehouse downtown. You know the N109 Zone well enough to figure out which one.”

Sylus takes a deep breath. 

“I’ll be there in ten minutes. If I see a single mark on her when I get there,” he pauses, fingers tracing over the gun on his desk. 

“Well, it’s already a bit too late for you anyway. You’ll find out soon enough what exactly it means to strike a deal with me.”

He hangs up the phone and looks at Luke and Kieran, his scarlet eyes blazing, but his demeanour as calm as ever. 

“Gather whatever weapons you’ll need and meet me outside in five minutes. Looks like the paperwork will have to wait.”

They salute him. “Yes, sir!” 

Sylus smirks. Good thing he was feeling bored anyway. 

𓅇 ⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚

It only takes him seven minutes to track down the warehouse, and it takes him even less time to annihilate the ‘security’ that the kidnappers had set up to delay him. By the time he makes it to where they’re holding you hostage, most of the vermin have either fled or have met an untimely end. 

Only half a dozen remain, and they surround you and a tall man in a trench coat like magpies protecting a sacred treasure. Sylus looks at you, tied to a chair, a bored expression on your face. 

Noticing his arrival, you give him a cheerful wave despite an ugly bruise on your cheek. The sight of it makes Sylus want to burn the warehouse to the ground. 

“Took you long enough!” you yell at him, causing one of the thugs to jab at you with the muzzle of a gun.

“Traffic was bad,” Sylus replies, which only makes you smile at him. Oh, he’s going to enjoy this all right. 

Sylus takes a step forward as the gang raise their guns, all six of them aiming at you in the chair.

“Don’t move or we’ll shoot her!”

Sylus rolls his eyes and throws up his hands.

“I come in peace,” he says dryly, a lazy smirk on his face. The thug in the trench coat (who Sylus has already clocked as the asshole leader he had spoken previously with on the phone) walks towards him, clapping his hands like an idiot. 

“Well done! You managed to take out my security. But sadly, we need to shake on our deal before I hand over little Miss Hunter.” He walks towards Sylus, his arm outstretched to reveal a grubby looking hand.

Sylus lowers his arms and lets the man come to him. “Ah, I see. Yes, we made a deal, but it seems you haven’t kept your end of the bargain up. She seems to have a number of marks on her face.” 

“She needed to be disciplined.”

“Do you enjoy picking on your enemies when they’re at their weakest? Binding her hands and her feet while you beat her. Is that really fair?” Sylus tilts his head to the side in mock curiosity.

“She kicked my shin and spat on me. Tying her up was one of my nicer punishments.”

“That’s my feisty little Kitten for you. Rile her up like that and she’ll scratch you.”

Sylus watches as the man comes to a halt in front of him. A pale, sinewy looking man up close. He tuts in disappointment. At least dress like a leader before you start acting like one, he thinks to himself. 

The man motions for Sylus to shake his hand, except, before Sylus can even react, the man whips out a pistol and shoots him in the chest.

“Ouch,” Sylus deadpans, watching as the man’s expression changes from arrogantly confident to extremely concerned. It’s a look that Sylus is used to seeing, and honestly, he should be tired of it by now, but deep down; this is his favourite part of the game.

“H-How…” the man stammers, but it’s already too late, and Sylus can’t stop his smile from spreading as he knocks the pistol out of the man’s hand, his Evol snaking around the man’s body, curling around his arms, his legs, until suddenly it engulfs him fully, squeezing, choking….the man doesn’t even realise it’s too late until poof! He’s gone. 

Sylus turns his attention to the remaining thugs. One look from him and they drop their guns before scattering like rats in a sewer. 

“Luke, Kieran,” Sylus says as the twins seemingly materialise by his side.  “Clean up the rest of this mess. Make sure none of them leave here alive.”

“Yes, Boss!” The twins scamper off, giggling like kids in a playground. 

Sylus makes his way over to you and crouches down, his hands moving swiftly to untie you.

“Are you okay?” he asks, voice gentle.

“What? No smart comments about how the hell did I manage to get kidnapped?” you mumble, feeling embarrassed that he had to save you. 

“I figured your pride was already hurt enough.”

You sigh in annoyance as Sylus finishes freeing your feet and hands. “They managed to inject me with a tranquilizer. Bastards. I would have been able to take them if they hadn't of caught me off guard.”

“Not like you to be caught off guard like that.”

“I was buying ice cream after a long shift.”

Sylus laughs, reaching out to cup your cheek with his palm. You wince a little as his fingers graze your bruise. 

“Does it hurt, Kitten?” His eyebrows furrow in concern. 

You shrug. “Just a little. Nothing an ice pack can’t heal.”

He scans the rest of your body, searching for more injuries, but you reach up and surprise him with a hug, pulling him tightly into your arms.

“Thanks for coming for me. For a second I thought you wouldn’t pick up your phone. You usually sleep during the day.”

Sylus shuts his eyes as he lifts you into his arms, the knot of worry untying in his chest now that you’re safe.

“I had some paperwork to get through. Had to wake up early to sign a few things.”

You laugh, nuzzling into the crook of his neck . “The leader of Onychinus doing paperwork? Surely you have an admin person that can do all that for you.”

“Too many secrets in the paperwork. Can’t trust anyone.”

“How about me? I can help you.”

Sylus pinches your side.

“Hey! That tickles.”

“Hilarious how you think I’d let a Hunter pry into Onychinus’ affairs.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I already know where your base is. If I didn’t like hanging out with you so much I would have turned you in by now.” 

You let out a small yawn as Sylus’ head spins, your words making him feel like a fireworks display has suddenly erupted in his heart.  

“Can you take me to your place on your motorcycle? I’m too tired to call a taxi back to my apartment after today's events.”

Sylus gets to his feet, still carrying you in his arms as you rest your head against his chest.

“Depends. Are you going to make me watch another bad comedy film to try and make me stay awake during the day again?”

You punch his chest lightly. 

“You pick a movie then. But it can’t be one of the black and white silent films you like to watch. Are you sure you’re not ninety years old?”

Sylus doesn’t say anything to that. Just pinches you again, but he can’t seem to take the stupid grin off his face. 

A small glimmer of hope shines through the walls of the castle he has built around himself. Perhaps loving you in this life doesn’t have to end in tragedy. Perhaps fate might grant the two of you mercy if he can protect you properly this time.

𓅇 ⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚

And as it turns out, there is a way to make paperwork slightly more interesting. He discovers this later that evening, and it involves bending you over his mahogany desk, his hands on your hips, your body spread over the documents as you beg him to fuck you faster.

“Sylus, ” you moan, turning your face to look at him as he holds your wrists in his hands, firmly keeping them behind your back. “Feels so good…I…I don’t know if I can stand much longer.”

He curses as he notices your trembling thighs. Fuck, it makes him feel so fucking hard seeing you like this. But you’re right. You’ve been through a lot today, so he should take it slow and steady with you.

With all the gentleness of the first snowfall of winter, he picks you up and carefully places you on the table, spreading your legs as your back lays against the paperwork. You whine as you feel his cock slip out of you, hating the feeling of being without him for even a second. 

Sylus soothes you with a soft kiss before he puts himself inside of you once more, giving you a few seconds to adjust before he starts thrusting again. 

“Sylus, please. I need you to fuck me like you mean it. I need to feel you in me,” you beg, eyes filled with nothing but lust as you stare at him from behind long lashes.

And who is he to refuse? He fucks you until you scream his name, fucks you until you both come, your arms spread over the paperwork as if you were an angel with wings made of pure divinity. 

III.

“Sylus, look!”

Sylus stares at the matching pair of couple’s pyjamas in your hands. Baby pink and baby blue. The pyjamas also have matching baby chicks printed all over them. They seem to stare menacingly at him with their little cartoon eyes as he examines their ugly faces. 

“We have to buy them!” 

Sylus grimaces as you wave them in his face. He supposes this what he gets for agreeing to shopping with you. 

“They’re not exactly my taste.”

He watches with amusement as you give him your best puppy eyes. 

“But you’d look so cute in them.” You continue to wave them around, as if you’re trying to hypnotize him into liking them. 

“Not a chance.” Sylus walks off, trying to hide his laughter as you continue to pout behind his back. 

“You’re so boring,” you grumble as you put the pyjamas back on the rack, trailing after Sylus through the department store. 

“Oh wow!” 

Sylus watches as you walk excitedly towards a pair of earrings on display in the jewellery section. A simple pair of studs in the shape of little dragons. Their wings have small rubies encrusted in them. 

“Something else caught your eye?” Sylus sidles up next to you, examining the earrings through the glass. 

“Uh…it’s a bit out of my budget,” you mumble, fiddling with your fingers awkwardly. 

“Such a shame,” Sylus laments, folding his arms. “They would suit you.”

You reach up and pinch his cheek. “No need to rub salt in the wound.” 

You walk off, leaving Sylus alone with the earrings glistening up at him. He waits until you’re a few metres away before calling over the store clerk. 

“How can I help you, sir?”

“I’ll take these.” Sylus gestures towards the earrings. “Can you gift wrap them for me?”

“Of course. Just to let you know, these are part of a couple’s set.” She motions towards a necklace with the charm of a dragon’s wing on it. 

Sylus isn’t even surprised. Fate loves tormenting him after all. Always dropping little reminders of his curse. The earrings were one thing, but a matching necklace… he should have known.

But despite it all, he eyes the piece with interest, tapping his chin in thought as the rubies shine up at him. 

“I think your partner would love you to wear it,” the store clerk says, eyes shining. “I know my job is to upsell…but between you and me, the girl who was with you earlier…she looks at you as if you’re the most important person in the world.”

Sylus nearly chokes. He hadn’t really noticed that before. 

“I’ll take the set.”

He supposes this could be a way of saying fuck you! to fate for once. 

𓅇 ⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚

He gives the earrings to you later that evening, playing it casual as he hands you the box before sitting in his armchair and pulling out a book of sonnets, his eyes peeking over the top of the pages as he secretly tries to gauge your reaction.

“Sylus! You shouldn’t have bought them! They cost a fortune!” You thank him with a kiss that’s sweeter than the spring flowers that grow in the valley of a mountain range.

Sylus shrugs as he watches you run off to admire the jewellery in the mirror above the fireplace. 

“Money isn’t an issue,” he says, nonchalant. 

“I know that, but still! You don’t have to buy me things.”

He gets to his feet and takes the earrings from your hands.

“Allow me.”

He carefully inserts the earrings into your earlobes, loving how they compliment you so well. 

“Beautiful,” he breathes, tilting your chin up.

“Thank you.”

“I was talking about the earrings, not you.”

“Sylus!”

His laughter is loud enough to fill the entire Onychinus base.

Little does Sylus know that you spot the matching necklace peeking out from under his shirt later that night, but you don’t mention it, afraid that he’ll take it off in embarrassment.

Sometimes some secrets are best kept hidden.

IV.

“Mister Sylus?”

Sylus sighs as he twirls a handful of linguine around his fork. 

He is not having a good week. 

The whole love situation has been driving him a little insane recently. After facing the obvious and admitting to himself that, okay, maybe he is falling in love with you again (not that he had ever really stopped being in love with you), he had finally made peace with the whole situation. 

Until of course, the nightmares started, and now he’s lost count of all the ways he’s watched you die in front of him.

Dreams are just dreams , he knows this. But that doesn’t make them less terrifying. He’s the head of Onychinus for Christ’s sake. It’s a known fact that nothing really scares him. But losing you again…no. He’s not letting it happen. And after the kidnapping incident, he’s made sure that something like that won’t ever happen again. He has Mephisto giving him daily updates, making sure that no one suspicious has been tailing you. 

But the darkness still resides in his heart. So instead of letting it get the better of him, he’s been trying to stay awake. In total, he’s probably been getting four hours of sleep every night for the past few days.

And of course, to top it all off, he’s been cleaning up Onychinus related messes all week (none of which were his fault, but all of them required his assistance, apparently). Between dealing with a missing batch of protocores and a shoot-out with a group of idiots that couldn’t hit him no matter bullets they fired, Sylus is on the verge of losing his mind as he sits across another useless mole that Luke and Kieran found for him, and now he has to deal with it on very little sleep. 

“Your lies, they’re boring me,” Sylus says eventually, eyes still on his pasta. “My time is precious, and you’re wasting it.”

His gaze moves slowly to the man opposite him. A sheen of sweat has broken across his forehead. It makes Sylus smirk, the effect he can have on people. 

“I promise Mister Sylus, I would never lie to you. My loyalty to Onychinus is–”

“Unwavering? Infinite? Please, I’ve heard it all before.” Sylus curls his hand into a fist, the familiar feeling of power coursing through his veins as his Evol snakes around his wrist, slowly seeping into his fingertips. 

“Mister Sylus…” the man watches him with bulging eyes. “I-I swear–”

“Swear on your life? Don’t worry. You won’t have to make false promises anymore.”

And really, he’s about to have the most fun he’s had all week, because there’s nothing more satisfying than the feeling of having his energy consume another weak soul. His fingers twitch as his Evol creeps towards the mole’s throat. Three…two…one…

“Wanderer!”

They have got to be fucking joking.

Sylus curses as a Wanderer suddenly crashes through the window of the restaurant, forcing him to take cover as glass shatters all around him. Familiar screams of terror fill the air as the Wanderer begins to destroy everything within a two metre radius, and the mole, God damn it, the mole has somehow managed to slip away in all the chaos. As if his day couldn’t get any worse. 

He thinks he might just call it a day and let someone else deal with this mess. He’s already cleaned up about three incidents today anyway. He sighs as he stands up and dusts off his jacket, tutting as he notices a sizeable stain on his shirt. He’ll have to get Luke and Kieran to send it off for dry cleaning later. 

He glances outside at the chaos on the streets. About six Wanderers are crashing through the square, the protofield already beginning to form. Sirens wail in the near distance and soon enough the Hunters flood the streets, right on cue. It’s enough to give him a very inconvenient headache. He’s about to use his Evol to disappear when he hears something that makes him freeze. 

“Everybody, please remain calm!” 

A stern voice that can be heard above all the chaos. A voice that Sylus would recognise in every universe, in every lifetime. You. 

“Please evacuate the area as quickly as possible! The Unicorns will take it from here!”

And all of a sudden, Sylus is on the street pushing roughly through the crowd, heading towards you, his Evol pulsing in his veins as the familiar sense of power builds in his bones.

“Take cover!”

He barely has time to dodge as a car flies over his head, barely has time to register that the car is flying straight towards you, your back turned as you shield a child in your arms. 

He’s seen this before. So many times. The nightmares always end the same. But this isn’t one of his nightmares.

This is real. 

"Run!” Someone screams, and Sylus watches in slow motion as you turn around too late, your eyes widening as you see the car hurtling towards you at a hundred miles an hour, ready to land right where you stand. 

Shrill screams, a blur of red and black, and suddenly the car freezes, as if caught by an invisible force, only it isn’t quite that. Wisps of scarlet smoke wrap around the car, crushing it until it dissipates into dust, and in front of it all, shielding you and the child, is Sylus. 

“Are you alright?” Sylus pants, slightly out of breath as he turns around and scans your body for any injuries.

Too stunned to speak, you stare at him in awe as the child clings onto your leg. 

“How…where…” you stammer. He pulls you into a brief hug before he takes your face into his hands and gives you a stern look. 

“What exactly are we looking at here?”

“High metaflux fluctuations in this area. There’s about twelve Wanderers, and the protofield is forming quickly. We need to evacuate the citizens and eliminate the Wanderers as fast as we can before they spread the protofield further over Linkon,” you say, scanning through the slides on your Hunter’s watch.

Sylus nods. “You guide the child to safety. I’ll start with the Wanderer that nearly took you out with a car.” He points at the fountain in the centre of the square. 

“I’ll meet you there in ten minutes. You can help me finish the rest of them off.”

You give him a look as you lift the child into your arms. “I only need five.”

“That’s my girl,” Sylus says, watching as you sprint away, his heart warm.

With you by his side, perhaps today won’t be a bad day after all.

𓅇 ⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚

Two hours later, three close encounters, one scratched forehead and one broken fountain, Sylus finds himself sitting beside you on a piece of rubble, a cap and a pair of sunglasses hiding his face as you frantically look around, triple checking that no one is giving Sylus any strange looks. 

“We just killed a dozen Wanderers, Sweetie. I doubt anyone is worrying about the N109 Zone’s crime lord gracing them with a surprise appearance.” He hands you a mango ice pop. 

“A reward for your performance today.”

Satisfied that Sylus is unrecognisable to the public eye, you take a bow as you accept the ice pop before taking a seat beside Sylus in the rubble. 

“Always a pleasure fighting alongside a crime lord.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve gotten stronger. Our training is paying off.” Sylus can’t help but feel proud of your strength. 

“You need to work on your defence though.” His fingers reach out to gently touch the graze on your forehead. 

You shake him off. “I can handle an injury or two.”

“I know you can,” Sylus sighs, looking at the determination in your eyes. “But sometimes you run recklessly into things. It’s important to think before throwing your punches.”

“Well, I know you’ll always have my back to pull me out of trouble anyway,” you say with a shrug before sneaking a bite of his ice pop. 

Sylus opens his mouth to say something, but is cut off by your Hunter’s watch buzzing. 

You get to your feet and give him a mock salute. “Duty calls, I guess. Maybe I’ll see you later? How about a movie night in my apartment?”

Sylus raises an eyebrow. “And if I say I already have plans?”

“Cancel them.” You lean down and give him a quick peck on the cheek. 

Sylus can only smile as he watches you run off. You blow him goodbye kisses as a group of Hunters throw their arms around your shoulders, congratulating you on another successful mission.

V.

Flowers can’t grow in the N109 Zone, unless of course, you know the right people, or unless you’re the leader of Onychinus, which Sylus just so happens to be, thus, this is how he finds himself in a little corner shop tucked away from the the busy streets of the N109 Zone’s main square. A miracle really, how it has managed to survive in such a desolate place, but the owner has a special kind of Evol that can make flowers bloom even in darkness.  

“So how can I help you today, Mister Sylus?”

A young girl with a green apron and a gentle demeanor blinks up at him with curious eyes. He supposes it’s not everyday that someone like him would be in a shop like this. 

“I need to buy flowers for a friend,” he says, looking around at the bouquets sprawling out from the shelves around him. It feels as if the flowers are responding to his presence, the pretty ones shaking their petals, trying to get him to reach out and touch them so they can have a peek into his desires. 

“And the occasion?” The girl tilts her head to the side, but she’s looking at him as if she’s already figured out the answer. It’s a little unnerving. He wonders if this is how his enemies often feel when he’s picking them apart with the Aether Core in his eye. 

“No occasion,” Sylus hums, turning his attention to a sunflower that has begun to poke him with its leaves. “Do all your flowers greet your customers like this?”

The girl laughs. “The flowers have a mind of their own. I only use my Evol to encourage them. You can’t tame what’s natural, you know.”

“And what are your flowers telling you now?” Sylus reaches out to touch the leaves that are reaching for him. 

The girl folds her arms. “That you’re not buying flowers for a friend.” 

“Perhaps not,” Sylus sighs, feeling the familiar sensation of invisible thorns pressing into his chest. “How do you tell someone they mean the world to you? That you’d search for them in every lifetime? In every dimension…you would choose them over something as precious as life?”

“Zinnia.”

Sylus watches as the girl waves her fingers and summons a small bunch of magenta coloured flowers. “Representing everlasting affection and endurance due to their willingness to grow. They’re tough little guys to grow too. They need a lot of encouragement.”

Sylus smiles, thinking back to a memory of you standing over the little plant you left on his window sill in his bedroom, one hand on a small water can, the other tapping the leaves of the plant with soft affection.

“Make sure you grow big and strong so Sylus won’t have to feel lonely anymore, okay?” 

Sylus watches you from the doorframe, your back facing him, completely unaware that he’s even there. 

“He doesn’t say it in front of me because he thinks it makes him look weak, but I know it upsets him that nothing can grow in the N109 Zone.” He watches as you bend down and kiss the petals of the plant.

“So prove him wrong and make sure you grow big and strong. Make him smile when I’m not here.”

“Mister Sylus?” 

The girl’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Sylus nods. 

“Two months ago, I received a letter from an unknown sender who invited me to open a flower shop at this exact location in the N109 Zone. The letter stated that it would cost me nothing, that my exceptional Evol was enough payment for whatever the cost of the shop would be.”

She looks at him then, really looks at him. He supposes he should have seen this coming. Secrets are one of the top selling items in the N109 Zone. 

“Hasn’t anyone told you that it’s a big risk accepting an invitation to the N109 Zone from a stranger?” Sylus asks.

“I suppose I left out a crucial part of the story.” The girl motions to a letter that hangs on a corkboard over the counter by the cash register. “The letter had the stamp of Onychinus on the bottom of it.”

“Yet you still came and opened your little shop.”

“I know you sent that letter yourself. I know you asked me to come here and open a flower shop in a place where flowers can’t even grow. I just couldn’t figure out why. There’s rumours about you, you know. That you can kill a person with just a flick of your wrist. That you have horns and a tail that only come out when someone is about to die.”

“Are you upset that the rumours were false? Or are you perhaps scared that I’m here today to prove that they might be true?”

“A man that requests someone to open a flower shop in Hell…he doesn’t kill for sport. No, you’re not what people think you are.”

Sylus laughs as he throws up his hands in mock surrender. “Do you interrogate all your customers like this?”

“You’re exactly how I thought you’d be. Arrogant, sarcastic, yet you’re here because there’s one thing you can’t figure out, and you think flowers might be able to do the job for you.” 

The girl gives him a smirk. “You’re in love, Mister Sylus. You’re so in love that you tracked down an Evolver that can make flowers bloom anywhere so you could send flowers to your beloved.”

Sylus sighs, tired of the game now that the exciting part is over. “So you’ve caught me. However, I haven’t had the chance to buy any flowers for her yet.”

“Too busy closing deals and blowing up buildings?”

“Something like that.”

The girl rolls her eyes. “You know the best way to tell someone you love them is actually telling them.”

“And if words aren’t enough?” Sylus sweeps his hand through the air, motioning towards the flowers. 

“I suppose roses would also work. Classic eternal love. Or Chrysanthemums. Faithfulness and longevity.”

“And what about those flowers?” Sylus twirls his fingers as his Evol tickles the petals of flowers that point towards the ceiling. Solitary, beautiful, they stand out like fresh snow on top of a mountain peak.

“Antirrhinums,” the girl says with a soft expression. “Also known as Snapdragons. White represents purity and grace. The purple ones represent love at first sight.”

A thousand memories flash through his mind as he stares at the flowers.

“I’ll take all of the Snapdragons you have.” 

“All of them? Unusual. Nobody really picks the Snapdragons. They’re often overshadowed by their peers.”

“People will often stay away from anything associated with dragons,” Sylus snorts as he walks towards the little flowers. 

“Dragons are solitary creatures. Even catching a glimpse of one can cost you your soul.” He reaches out to touch the delicate petals with his fingers. The girl watches him with interest. Surely the leader of Oncychinus is not as vulnerable as this? 

“But even dragons have a soft spot for beautiful things such as flowers.” Sylus touches his hair, feeling the ghost of a flower tucked between the strands. 

Years come and go. Sylus wonders if he’ll ever be able to save you from the cursed merry-go-round of fate. 

𓅇 ⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚

He gets a phone call that evening.

“Did you really send me one hundred and nine bouquets of flowers?”

“And how did you get to that exact number?”

“I counted them all of course!”

“Usually people would say thank you by now.”

“I was getting to that. You’re just impatient.”

“I have all the patience in the world, Kitten.”

A beat of silence. 

“I had to look them up online because I’ve never seen them before. They’re called Snapdragons, apparently.”

“Yes, the florist said they're often overlooked.”

“Oh. Well…I’m glad you bought them then. They won’t feel lonely here. I’ll make sure of it.”

He thinks he might say it then and there. 

I love you. 

But the sentence never seems to make it past his lips. 

VI.

Maybe it’s time to address it.

“Oh, fuck, Sylus…” 

A simple late night phone call, whispers of I miss you, and all of a sudden, you’re at his door, your eyes dark as you step inside, throwing off your coat and wrapping your arms around his neck before he can react. 

“Sylus… please…”

Sylus smirks as he sucks at the skin on your inner thigh, using enough pressure to leave a hickey that will last for at least three days, maybe a week. A reminder that he’s been there; been to a place reserved only for him. 

“Does it feel good, Kitten?” he asks, gently stroking the bruise, his scarlet eyes glowing as he looks at you with lust. 

“Yes…please don’t stop…” you trail off as his lips trail kisses down your thighs, your hands sliding to hold his hair between your fingers as he gets closer and closer to the spot where you need him the most.

“You’re so wet, Sweetie,” he breathes, voice low as he stares at your heat. “Such a good girl…tell me…do you want it?”

“Yes…please… fuck Sylus, I need you so bad,” you moan, using your hands to guide him between your thighs, his breath warm

Yeah, maybe now’s not a good time to address it. 

Sylus can sense your neediness, his cock straining against his trousers as his mouth finds your heat, moaning as you squeeze his head gently between your thighs, his tongue working inside you as you slowly begin to unravel. Your body begins to tremble because fuck, Sylus always makes you feel like heaven is a place on earth, tucked away here, on his four-poster bed, in between cool silk sheets. 

And Sylus, well, he’s seeing stars, eating you out as if you might disappear tomorrow. His hands spread your legs wider, trying to find the best angle to make you fall apart. He fucking loves seeing you like this, loves the way you both submit yourselves to each other. A newfound trust that means more to Sylus than any protocore in all of Deepspace.

He continues to fuck you with his mouth, the taste of you like honey on his tongue. 

“Sylus…I think…I’m…ugh …” you trail off again, biting your lip as a familiar feeling builds inside you. 

Sylus smirks, and you can feel it between your legs. You tug on his hair a little harder, urging him to just fuck you more, because, Christ, you’re so fucking close. He seems to get the message, and begins to fuck you faster with his tongue, using his hands to guide your hips so they’re rutting against his hot mouth. 

He’s so fucking hard, he thinks maybe he could come like this, with your hands in his hair and his head between your legs. He knows you’re close, can sense it in the way you’re moving, so he decides to help you a little, his fingers creeping up to your clit before they begin to massage the bundle of nerves slowly, making you cry out in pleasure. 

“Baby…gonna…gonna come soon,” you whine, the world spinning as your head falls against the mattress. 

A growl leaves his lips. “Then come for me, my darling.”

And that’s all it takes for you to fall apart, and Sylus, the angel he is, keeps going until you pull him out, whining at him, tugging at his shirt to bring him closer to you. 

“I need you in me, baby.” 

People think he’s a strong man, yet a single sentence from you can make him fold like a sheet of paper.

“Are you sure?” he asks, shutting his eyes and letting out a quiet sigh of pleasure as your hands find their way to the bulge straining against his trousers. 

“Of course.” 

Sylus flips you over, moving so his back can lie against the headboard. He uses his Evol to place you strategically on his lap as your fingers begin to undo his belt and zipper. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he groans, dizzy with pleasure as you wrap your hand around his aching length. Even with your two hands wrapped around him, his cock is huge. The thought of it inside of you is making you wet again. 

“Lie back,” you order, and Sylus obliges, his eyes glowing through the soft haze of his bedroom. 

He squeezes your ass as you slowly lower yourself onto his cock, a loud cry escaping your lips. Even after doing this a few times, you still get surprised at his size, but his length sliding into you always feels like a home run. Sylus thinks you were made to take him like this; your body moulded just for him. 

“You’re so tight,” Sylus moans, his forehead falling against your chest. He places a soft kiss to your cleavage before bucking his hips up a few times until suddenly he starts pounding into you, your moans drowning out the squeaks from the bed frame.  

Good thing he sent Luke and Kieran out on a few errands. Sylus doesn’t think they’d recover from the noises you two are making.

“Sylus, baby, faster, ” you beg, gripping his shoulders for support, your hips grinding on his cock. “Fuck, you always feel so good.”

“You too, my darling. You’re fucking made for me. Always feels like heaven being inside of you,” Sylus growls, his hips fucking you like there’s no tomorrow. 

Heavy breathing and the sweet scent of sex fills the room as you both rock your hips in harmony, pulling each other closer and closer to the edge. Sylus can feel his orgasm building in his stomach. He needs to feel you more. 

“S-Sylus…” you pant, your legs beginning to ache a bit. “More. Please. I need…I need more .”

Yeah, he thinks he does too. 

Without warning, he pulls out of you, switching positions and pushing you on to the mattress before thrusting back into you with full force. Your hands fly to your mouth as you cry out in pleasure. 

Sylus tuts, removing your hands, interlocking your fingers with his own above your head as he fucks you slow and hard.

“It’s okay. No one’s home. I want to hear your sweet little moans, Kitten,” he coos, leaning down and kissing your neck. 

You shut your eyes, letting your voice echo around the room. 

“I think I’m close, baby,” you breathe. 

Sylus nods into the crook of your neck as his thrusts begin to pick up speed again, the sound of skin slapping skin getting louder and louder. 

“I have you, darling,” he pants, looking into your eyes with sincerity. “So be a good girl and come for me again.”

“You too,” you whine, thrusting your hips up to meet him halfway. 

“Fuck …” Sylus grunts, his hips stuttering as the feeling in his stomach comes to a boil. 

He’s not sure which of you comes first, all he knows is that suddenly everything feels warm, and when it’s all over, the earth seems to stop spinning, and nothing matters but the two of you together like this.

Time slows down after that. A comfortable silence falls between the two of you, a silence that remains as he cleans you, a soft towel wiping over your damp skin before he wraps you in one of his silk robes. He doesn’t bother asking you if you’re staying over tonight. It’s an unspoken agreement that has become a silent habit. 

More time passes. Somewhere in between the post-sex conversations and after-midnight kisses, you fall asleep in Sylus’ bed, the moonlight slicing through the gaps in the curtains, shining on your bare skin, making it look like you’re made of pure starlight. 

As you sleep, Sylus tucks your hair behind your ear and whispers gentle words into the night air.

“You are my sun and my stars. My fate is yours, for eternity. In my past life, in this life, and in every life to come after, I will be yours if you’ll allow it.”

Sylus wonders why vulnerability comes out easier under darkness than in daylight.

VII.

Glittering chandeliers and bubbly champagne. Jewel encrusted cutlery and a grandiose ice sculpture; yet all the riches in the world pale in comparison when placed next to you. 

Or at least, that’s what Sylus thinks, as he takes your hand, your high heels unsteady as you step out of the limousine he had prepared for the evening. It’s not often he accepts invitations to grand events such as Galas and Balls. His time is precious, and these events require a lot of false smiles and forced conversations. 

But as he looks at you – your shimmering ball gown twinkling in the moonlight, the pearl necklace glowing against the soft skin of your neck that he likes to trace when the world is asleep – he thinks it might be worth it this one time.

He leads you towards the entrance, admiring how the crowd parts for the two of you. The feeling of power; it’s addictive. Sylus has lived with it for so long that after a while, it made him a little jaded. But even the heaviest of snowfall melts over time, and as he watches your eyes sparkle as he leads you towards the ballroom, he regrets every second he wasted not searching for you. 

Not that he ever gave up, either. 

The ballroom is as extravagant as the ones described in a child’s fairytale. A roof with a Renaissance style fresco that stretches for miles, long tables with all the food from every corner of the world. Champagne fountains, decadent cakes, and you – having drifted away from his side to admire the scene – standing in the middle of it all. A single snowdrop. His flower.

“Good evening Mister Sylus.” Sylus nods at a couple as they greet him. Friends of Onychinus that would probably stab him in the back if he hadn't of invited them to this event. 

“Good evening,” Sylus replies, still not taking his eyes off you. 

“It’s not often that you grace us with your presence at these events,” the woman says, eyeing him with a look that could turn even the sweetest fruit sour.

“I have to keep an eye on things after the explosion incidents in Linkon.” 

“Ah, I see. Terrible how our own can turn on us just like that.” 

Sylus doesn’t even bother reacting, the conversation already boring him. 

“If you’ll excuse me, there’s somewhere I need to be,” Sylus says, excusing himself and making his way over to you. He stifles a laugh as he spots you helping yourself to the cakes and pastries on the table.

“Hungry, Kitten?”

You turn around and pout at him, your mouth full of cake. Sylus tuts as he wipes away the frosting on your lips. 

“I’m starving,” you groan through a mouthful of cake, to which Sylus laughs. He licks his finger, tasting the frosting he wiped off your lips. It’s a bit sweet for his palette, but if it’s something you enjoy, then he’d eat ten slices of cake just to see your smile. 

“Have you been enjoying yourself?” He reaches out to adjust the ruby crow brooch on your dress. “Collected enough intel to bring back to the Hunters Academy?”

“I’m not here on business,” you huff. 

Sylus lightly flicks your forehead. “But an intelligent Hunter like you never takes a day off.”

He smiles down at you, just as the orchestra begins to play a bright piece of music, making people flood to the floor for a dance.

“May I?” Sylus holds out his hand. 

“Are you asking me to dance?”

“It would be a shame to have all our practice go to waste,” Sylus says, his mind thinking back to a couple of nights ago. 

"One two three, one two three…”

Sylus tries to suppress his laughter as he watches you stumble around, trying to keep your pace in time with the waltz crackling through his vintage gramophone. He tries to guide you carefully in the right direction, one hand on your waist as he elegantly glides across the marble floor, but this only makes you step on his toes again. 

“Are you even trying, kitten?”

“It’s a lot harder than it looks!” you argue, trying your best to avoid stepping on his toes again. “And I’m not used to wearing heels.”

Sylus sighs and stops dancing, causing you to collide into his chest, but he anticipates this and catches you in his arms.

"How about we change tactics?” he asks. He lifts you gently so that you end up standing with your feet on top of his.

“Watch and learn.” 

Sylus uses his Evol to place your hands on his shoulders as his hands find their way onto your hips. He sways you both gently, his eyes focused on you, his heartbeat steady as he sways to the waltz. He picks you up and spins you around, causing you to squeal as you rise high into the air like a dove before he pulls you back into his arms. 

The memory warms him as he thinks about it. Fills his chest with butterflies as he watches you dance once more, except this time, your eyebrows are furrowed in full concentration. You’re trying for him, and he adores you for it. 

As the waltz continues, Sylus finds himself  becoming lost in the music, the room fading away until all he can see is you. Your eyes on his, his eyes on yours. You spin and step together in harmony; two souls in matrimony. 

“Kitten,” Sylus says, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “In case I forget to tell you later…” he trails off as he gently presses a kiss to your neck. 

“Not even the brightest stars could take away from your beauty tonight.”

𓅇 ⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚

Later on, Sylus takes you out to the garden for some fresh air. Under the stars, your flushed cheeks from the heat of the ballroom glow like cherry wine. You find a private spot in the maze made of hedges and take a seat on a small bench surrounded by roses. 

Sylus kisses the crown of your head as you lay on his shoulder, a comfortable silence surrounding you both. Your skin is still flushed by the alcohol. Sylus suspects you’re a little tipsy from all the champagne. 

“Can I stay at your place tonight?” 

Sylus shifts his gaze to your pouting face. 

“Should I tell Luke and Kieran to get the guest room ready?”

You pinch his side with your fingers. “I think there’s enough room in your custom made, luxury bed for one more person. Plus, you and I both know I’ve only slept in the guest room once.”

Sylus smiles down at you. 

“And if I don’t want to share my bed tonight?”

You yawn, shutting your eyes and nuzzling your face into his jacket.

“You can sleep on the floor then.”

“You know that’s not going to happen.”

“I know.”

“You know.”

𓅇 ⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚

On the drive home, you end up falling asleep. Not wanting to wake you up, Sylus carries you to his room and tucks you in, gently removing your makeup with the cleanser he keeps on standby when you visit. 

Although he tries his best to make sure you stay asleep, you stir a little at his touch, mumbling something as he wipes away the last of your mascara. 

“WhereamI?” you croak, eyes flickering as you try to sit up. But Sylus shushes you, gently pushing you back onto the mattress, and assures you that everything is fine. That you just fell asleep on the way home. 

Seemingly satisfied with that answer, you shut your eyes and pull Sylus down with you, burying your face into his chest as he falls into bed next to you. 

“Promise me you’ll stay until I fall asleep,” you whisper into his ear. It sends shivers down his spine. A promise is a heavy burden for a dragon. Not that he is one anymore, but that doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about the past, forgotten about what it actually means if he breaks one.

What if one day he makes you another one he can’t keep? 

“Sylus?” A hand reaches out through the dim light and pokes his face. “Are you still here?”

Fuck it. He’s already this deep anyway. Running would be futile at this stage. Maybe it’s time to stop being afraid. He catches your hand in his and presses your fingertips to his lips.

“I’m still here,” he whispers. “And I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

You smile, your eyes still closed. “Goodnight Sylus.”

“Goodnight.”

True to his word, he stays until you fall asleep. In fact, he lays beside you until the sun rises.

And when you wake up and find him asleep next to you, the sunlight creeping in through the curtains making him frown in slumber, you pull the duvet over both of your heads, a smile spreading across your lips as you curl into his chest. 

Sundays are for sleeping in anyways. 

VIII.

As Summer draws to a close, Sylus finally finds a day to take you hiking to a place outside of Linkon where no one will recognise him. He picks you up late in the afternoon, the plan being to reach the summit by sunset. 

Even though he’s become accustomed to cold nights, Sylus has grown to enjoy the feeling of the warm Summer wind in his air, one hand on the steering wheel, the other shifting the gear stick as you sing along to the radio, him occasionally joining in, which only causes you to burst into a fit of laughter every time. 

It’s not often he’s awake during the day, but recently he’s begun to embrace the light. Maybe because it highlights your beauty in all its glory. Loving you has changed a lot of things for Sylus, has made him feel stronger, yet more vulnerable at the same time. 

And he’s been watching you grow too, like a flower that blooms in adversity, slowly, but surely. Through all the pain in your heart, you still have managed to flourish, and it makes him proud, seeing how strong you’ve become since he found you again in this lifetime. 

“Sylus, up ahead, look!” You point excitedly to the mountain in the near distance. Sylus hums as he steps on the gas pedal, not wanting to waste another second in his thoughts.

The sun is already beginning to dip into the horizon as Sylus pulls into the parking lot. He grabs your bags from the trunk as you tie your shoe laces and check your Hunter’s watch, scanning through the exact route that you both had planned together. 

“If we leave now, we should make it to the top by sunset,” you say, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as you examine the route. 

Sylus takes your hand in his. “Lead the way, Miss Hunter.”

𓅇 ⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚

By the time the two of you reach the summit, most of the crowds from the afternoon have dispersed, leaving behind a tranquil atmosphere. The air is a little crisp, the early signs of Autumn creeping into the dregs of Summer. Sylus notices you shivering slightly as you both look out at the view. Without a word, he takes off his jacket and drapes it over your shoulders. You give him a grateful look. 

“Thank you for bringing me here,” you say, breaking the silence, eyes gazing at the sweeping landscape below. 

“You weren’t kidding about the view. It’s breathtaking. I feel like I can touch the sky.” You reach out into the air, basking in the last rays of light of the day, smiling at Sylus with all the warmth of the sun.

“You’re right,” Sylus says softly, watching how the light casts a golden glow on your skin, as if you’re an angel and all he can do is pray to heaven they’ll let him keep you on earth. 

“It’s beautiful.”

In this exact moment, Sylus knows the time has come. He has to tell you.  

He clears his throat. “Sweetie, I–”

“S’mores for sale! Get your s’mores here!”

Sylus curses as a stall owner starts causing a ruckus a few metres away. 

“Oh my god, I haven’t had s’mores since I was a kid!” you squeal with excitement. Sylus can feel his eye twitch slightly as you grab his hand and pull him in the direction of the food stall, a steady queue already beginning to form. 

“What even is a s’more?” he grumbles, still feeling a little disgruntled that his big speech was rudely interrupted. 

“Wait, you’ve never had a s’more before? I thought you went camping all the time.”

“And what has camping got to do with these so-called s’mores?”

Your jaw drops in disbelief. “S’mores are like…the best campfire treat ever! Warm chocolate and toasted marshmallows all squished between two graham crackers.” You mime squashing the s’more between the palms of your hands. 

“And voilà! The best snack you’ll ever have in your life, all put together in less than a minute.”

“Sounds like a one way trip to diabetes.”

“You’re such an old man sometimes.”

“I suppose I am ninety years old. If you believe the rumours that is.”

You both continue to bicker back and forth until you finally get to the top of the queue. Sylus doesn’t even get a chance to argue before you order two s’mores, slapping a handful of coins onto the counter. 

The smell of sugar fills the air as he allows you to drag him to a secluded spot on the summit with a bench overlooking Linkon. By now, the city’s lights are slowly beginning to flicker on as the sun continues to lower itself deeper and deeper into the horizon. 

A fond smile ghosts his lips as he notices that you're halfway through your s’more, chocolate smeared on the corner of your mouth. 

“This is the best day ever,” you say dreamily, your eyes shining as you once again admire the view. Finishing the last of your s’more, you lean against Sylus’ shoulder, sighing with satisfaction as you pat your stomach dramatically. 

Afraid the chocolate will melt and stain his hands, Sylus begins to eat his own s’more, his nose scrunching at the taste.

“As expected, this is nothing but pure sugar.”

“Aw c’mon, it’s delicious,” you huff, taking the s’more from his hands and waving it in his face.

“What are you doing?” He asks, his eyebrow raised with suspicion. 

“Say aaaah!” You shove the s’more into his mouth, forcing him to take another bite. He coughs as the sickeningly sweet taste of the s'more fills his mouth again, but he finishes it anyway.

Not before he jabs you in the ribs for fun, of course. 

“Okay, okay! I surrender. It tickles too much!” you wheeze as he continues to jab you with his fingertips.

Satisfied, Sylus leans in and wipes the chocolate from your face with his thumb. 

“Are all kittens this messy?” he teases, and before you can complain, he presses his lips briefly against yours, smirking as he pulls away.

Cheeks flushing, you have no idea how to react to that, so instead you bury your face in Sylus’ sweater, trying to hide your blush from him. 

You sit in a comfortable silence after that, Sylus holding you close as you both take in the sunset together. He can feel your heartbeat, can feel the steady rhythm that brought him to you through Deepspace. He thinks if he had to go through all those years of loneliness again just to hold you like this for even a second, well, he’d do it all over again with zero hesitations.

And just like that, like a puzzle sliding into place, like a shooting star finding its way home, the universe whispers for him to bring the crescendo of his unspoken symphony to its climax. 

“I love you.”

Those three words; they’ll never be enough.

But for now, they’ll do. 

“I love you,” he repeats, just as the sun sinks into the horizon and the moon becomes visible. “I’ve loved you for a long time, Kitten. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”

“Oh, Sylus, my beautiful, beautiful Sylus.”

Warm hands reach out as you turn to cup his face, tears glistening in your eyes as you laugh with disbelief. 

“I know. I know you love me, even though you’ve never said it to me before. Your actions, they’re enough. You, right next to me…it will always be enough.” 

He stares at you with nothing but pure reverence in his eyes. 

“And for the record, I love you too.”

At your confession, Sylus wraps his arms around your waist as you continue to hold his face firmly in your palms. Under the twilight, you both stare lovingly into each other’s eyes, the darkness in Sylus’ heart finally fading away into something warm, something golden. Something that can only be described as love.

And as you kiss under the magenta sky, Sylus knows that no matter where fate tries to hide you, he’ll always find you.

Because home is wherever you are.